What to if no reply to wedding invitation

GobbledyGook

It's still very early, especially with no RSVP date.

Plus things are still tangled up in the Christmas post.

Georgiegirl256

oliveoil99 wrote: »

My daughter gets married July this year she sent out the invitations a couple of months ago now and has still not heard back from some people if they will be attending. Does she chase them up or assume they are not coming? What have other done in this situation am sure it's not unique. As there is a wedding breakfast she needs to know numbers etc. What is wrong with people it's just a simple yes of no if they don't want to attend she doesn't need reasons just a I will/will not be attending.

Oh get real woman....it's 6 months off yet. Talk about being an anal control freak.

samtoby

Just ask them if you can - I forgot about an invite I had due to a housemove. It was not deliberate

Bella73

This has to be a wind up, with all the info out there and you send invites months ahead without an RSVP date on!! Lol

As you have totally ignored etiquette your only option is to politely ring people about 8 weeks before and ask if they are attending or send another invitation with the appropriate RSVP details along with a card and a stamped addressed envelope with a sorry meant to enclose this with the invite.

claire16c

She wont need to know numbers for a wedding breakfast yet. Most people probably have a meal and dont know numbers until a few weeks before. You just give the venue a ball park figure.

She sent her invites out at a time when she should have just sent Save the Dates.

She should send her invites out a couple of months before. As she hasnt done that and hasnt put an rsvp date, Id tell her to hold her horses until around 6 weeks before the wedding and then chase people for a reply. So hardly urgent as July is quite a while away!

bubblegumcola

It's very very early for a wedding invite. Most invites I have received have been between two months and five weeks notice at the latest. I gave 6 weeks notice for mine and a date I needed RSVP'd by. Those who didn't reply in time were chased up.

Maybe send out a note to all who haven't replied with a reminder nearer the time telling the stragglers to RSVP by a certain date?

Kynthia

Usually people send save the dates to key day guests up to a year before the wedding so that they know to keep that day free if they want to attend. The about 2-3 months before they send out the invitations with an rsvp date about a month later. This is near enough to the wedding that guests will know with virtual certainty whether they can make it or not. Any responses not received by the rsvp date can be chased with a quick phone call.


By asking so far in advance, some people won't know whether they can attend or not. Even if they respond positively, there is a greater chance that circumstances will change and they will have to change their mind nearer the time. Also by not giving an rsvp date you've not told people when to respond by, and especially as it's so early they might not even realise you want a response any time soon. They might even think it's a save the date rather than an official invite.


I've just been sent an invite for a wedding in 7 months time. It's ridiculous as I have no idea whether I can go. I don't know if I'll be able to afford it then as it involves two nights in a hotel yet by that point I'll have a new house with a big mortgage, a new baby to care for and travel with, be on unpaid maternity leave by then and possibly even be made redundant. I don't even know if my unborn child is invited??? My life is going to be massively different in 7 months time and whether I can go to a wedding is a minor annoyance at the moment. I might even have to decline rather than accept and then risking declining nearer the time.

NoAngel

Kynthia wrote: »

Usually people send save the dates to key day guests up to a year before the wedding so that they know to keep that day free if they want to attend. The about 2-3 months before they send out the invitations with an rsvp date about a month later. This is near enough to the wedding that guests will know with virtual certainty whether they can make it or not. Any responses not received by the rsvp date can be chased with a quick phone call.


By asking so far in advance, some people won't know whether they can attend or not. Even if they respond positively, there is a greater chance that circumstances will change and they will have to change their mind nearer the time. Also by not giving an rsvp date you've not told people when to respond by, and especially as it's so early they might not even realise you want a response any time soon. They might even think it's a save the date rather than an official invite.


I've just been sent an invite for a wedding in 7 months time. It's ridiculous as I have no idea whether I can go. I don't know if I'll be able to afford it then as it involves two nights in a hotel yet by that point I'll have a new house with a big mortgage, a new baby to care for and travel with, be on unpaid maternity leave by then and possibly even be made redundant. I don't even know if my unborn child is invited??? My life is going to be massively different in 7 months time and whether I can go to a wedding is a minor annoyance at the moment. I might even have to decline rather than accept and then risking declining nearer the time.

Exactly this happened to me. I was pregnant and moving house 200 miles across the country but expected to know whether I'd be attending. I knew that my baby would be around 5-8 weeks old and had no idea whether this would affect my ability to travel the 250 miles to a 2 night wedding. As it happened to said yes and then spent months worrying about it and wondering how to them decline. I ended up going, with baby and to be honest, wish we hadn't bothered as travelling that far with a tiny baby was hard work.

If we'd been expected to RSVP nearer the date (maybe 6 weeks before) then I'd have said no and that would have been the fit decision. So maybe just hang on and contact people much closer to the time when they will have a more realistic idea of whether or not they can attend.

peachyprice

Oh, poor thing, she must have got caught up with the excitement and sent them way too early.

I'm afraid she's now made rather a lot of extra work and stress for herself. How many of those invitiations have been stuffed in a drawer/on a shelf/filed because the wedding was so far away, only to be completely forgotten about? When it gets to 5-6 weeks before the wedding she's going to have to contact every one she hasn't had a reply from to ask if they've remembered they even got an an invite and whether they're coming.

It would probably be easier to just re-send the invites at the proper time with an RSVP slip and envelope. :rotfl:

ostrichnomore_2

As she sent them out way too early, I think she needs to reinvite everyone at a more appropriate time - or at least get in touch with the yes/no responses to check that things haven't changed and they want to change their answer/they haven't forgotten the details of the wedding. They may well have mislaid the first invitation.

Why on earth did she send them so early? It's one thing to notify people of the date (I was told about a July wedding a few months ago so I could block it out in my diary), but rather weird (and egocentric!) to expect a definite commitment either way so far ahead.