16 year old son playing Xbox all night!

timbo58

Hopefully the situation should be a little less stressful now you've talked to him: however you can still go back to plan B and the stricter options others have advised if it doesn't resolve soon.

On the subject of transport to college 2.8 miles away:
Have to be old fashioned here: I walked 2.3 miles each way to school from 11 to 16 and then 3 miles to college and back for 2 years after that -it's not a bad thing to do that sort of exercise daily, especially if you spend other leisure time indoors/sedentary.

If local authorities were providing transport to school/college for those capable of walking less than 3 miles then to be honest I'd be rather annoyed as a taxpayer.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Um, isn't it?

Not in most houses where the parent has control over the children. In this case parental control seems to be somewhat lacking. It's hardly good for the child's welfare being stuck in front of a games console for hours on end when they should be getting their sleep, and after reading other replies, I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not in most houses where the parent has control over the children. In this case parental control seems to be somewhat lacking. It's hardly good for the child's welfare being stuck in front of a games console for hours on end when they should be getting their sleep, and after reading other replies, I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Are parents really supposed to have control over 16 year olds?

Loads of young men (and some young women) go through a phase of staying up half the night playing games, if not now then when they first move out and get a bit of freedom.

He's going to college, he's working part time, yes it sounds like he could learn to be a bit more polite and helpful around the house but I don't think we're looking at a very extreme situation here.

SingleSue

At 16, the last thing I wanted was my parents to have control over me. Ok, things were slightly different back then but at 16, I was working full time and was my own person.

At 16, I decided my bedtime, my mealtimes, what I did in my spare time etc..as it was, I spent most of my free time (there wasn't a great deal of it to be honest, I was working 12-13 hours a day 6 days a week), in my bedroom, not playing computer games but reading until the very wee hours. If I was tired in the morning, it was my blooming fault. Not that it ever happened, I need very little sleep.

I'd had had a blue fit if my mum had taken my books away!

That said, I was never late for work. I always always made sure I was up in the morning despite how little (sometimes zero) sleep I had had.

nickj_2

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Not in most houses where the parent has control over the children. In this case parental control seems to be somewhat lacking. It's hardly good for the child's welfare being stuck in front of a games console for hours on end when they should be getting their sleep, and after reading other replies, I'm not the only one who thinks so.

you're confusing a child with an adult , he's old enough to join the army , it's one thing having a ten year old kid stay up for hours , but this is a 16 year old , he's not a child any more , he's more than capable of making his own decisions , whether their the right decisions is another point , but that is what he chooses to do ,

Reggie_Rebel

GwylimT wrote: »

why not just take the xbox power cable with you?

Is the correct answer

Georgiegirl256

nickj wrote: »

you're confusing a child with an adult , he's old enough to join the army , it's one thing having a ten year old kid stay up for hours , but this is a 16 year old , he's not a child any more , he's more than capable of making his own decisions , whether their the right decisions is another point , but that is what he chooses to do ,

It's the OP that appears to be confusing the two.

She calls him a child and treats him like a child.

sulkisu

supermum38 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear some of you agreeing that as a 'child' he should be able to act like a 'child' and stay up playing games. That has been my mantra up until now. We have been through tough times and believe we have a good relationship and are able to be honest with one another. I promised myself I would not try to make them grow up too quickly but in this instance it feels like the youngest is going backwards. He's been playing his Xbox for years but never to this extent, and I worry more about him not going out and socialising than doing chores.

HIS Xbox is downstairs on a desk with HIS 22" tv and DV recorder (records game action) and HIS new laptop. He actually bought all these items himself with money he was given, saved or earned. I don't feel it would be right then to confiscate his belongings? Yes, I do pay for the broadband and so setting limits is MY right.

Well I'm confused and no doubt your son is as well. You are giving mixed messages. Either you are treating him like and adult and hope/expect him to act like one (as said in your previous posts), or you treat him like a child and let him act like one. At the moment he is acting like a child, and you are agreeing with those posters who have basically said 'what's the problem?' If you are happy with that, then there is no problem - he will probably grow out of it, eventually.

aileth

I have to say, I agree with both sides that people are talking about to some degrees.

My view, I wouldn't really consider him a child anymore and if he feels like he's being treated like one as a 16 year old lad then he's going to fight back.

However, he is living under your house, your rules. If one of your rules is that he has to stop playing by X time, then he should abide by that rule in your house and you must be strict with him.

However, I also think that if you can keep up a rule, e.g. Xbox off by 10, then there should be perhaps some rewards to this to make sure he isn't overly suffocated, for example he can stay up as late as he wants on Saturday (provided he isn't working Sunday), or perhaps that he is his own boss during school holidays. I would feel mightily hard done to if I was a 16 year old boy who had a week off, no school or work (provided there isn't homework or coursework that needs doing), and wasn't allowed to play my Xbox at night, as it is my 'holiday.'

A friend of mine was suffocated terribly when he was younger, only allowed an hour of gaming each night, regardless of school, work or holiday. For most of his 20s he would spend from when he got home from work, say maybe 6pm, till 2-3 am in the morning gaming and it affected his adult and work life terribly. Yes, he was responsible for his own actions, but he seemed to just go totally over the top with his newfound freedom.

I would say try and get him into a regime of having a strict Xbox off policy Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Friday depends if he's working Saturday, Saturday depends if he's working Sunday, with one to two nights a week where he can do as he wishes. If he doesn't work with you of course, start the parental locking and cable confiscating, but give him the chance to prove he can follow it first.

I don't have kids myself of course so I'm just trying to hypothesise how a 16 year old lad would feel!

LannieDuck

I think your edit makes a huge difference to this discussion. I used to be in an online club that hosted big competitions, and they can be very time-intensive, but so can many hobbies. As long as he sticks to his promise to get sleep before work/school days, and as long as his routine goes back to normal after the 2 weeks is up, I think I would let him get on with it. Perhaps you could agree that he'll let you know in future if something like this comes up again.

I would be more inclined to try to address his lack of physical activity. I suggested this to another Mum with a computer-game obsessed young boy on another thread - has he heard of LARPing (e.g. http://www.labyrinthe.co.uk/)? It would get him outside all day, running around, and is very social.