16 year old son playing Xbox all night!

Becles

Type this into your web browser:

http://192.168.0.1/

and you can log into your sky router. If you haven't already set a password, the default log in is:
user name: admin
password: sky

Change that once you log in by clicking on "Maintenance" then "Set Password".

Then go to "Security" and "Schedule". You can change the times in there so the router is disabled at certain times. For example you could have it switched off between 11pm and 8am.

Noctu

I have to agree with Steve TD, I know it's difficult to watch as a Mum but sometimes you have to let them make their own mistakes. He is doing a media course and he has a job? That's pretty good going for a 16 year old.

At some point he will realise that he can't play XBox all night and get up for work/college/etc. But he needs to come to that realisation himself, not by you nagging him.

I played games all night at that age (I'm female and enjoyed an online game, I met quite a few friends who I still chat with to this day, online and in 'real life'!). I turned out alright for myself.... married, own home, just finishing my Doctorate.

P.S. if you turn off the internet that doesn't mean he won't be able to play games! Just not the online component...

Seanymph

'Not fair' to not have an xbox after 7pm!

Amazing.

Lots of kids don't have Xbox's at all.

You are a parent - someone has to be in charge, it's a shame you have to work long hours, study, (your choices) and are poorly - but it doesn't give you a get out of jail free card when it comes to parenting your children because you are busy doing something else.

No tv's or computers in bedrooms. Easy rule. When mine were 16 they were allowed, if they abused it, they got taken away.

No computer access after 10pm in our house. The router is off.

24 hour access to internet and gaming isn't necessary to develop into sensible responsible adults - in fact, as you are learning, it is counterproductive.

make some decisions, impose some boundaries, and act on it.

Georgiegirl256

supermum38 wrote: »

That wouldn't be fair on either of them if I'm heading off for a night shift at 7pm?

Good god, stop making excuses! :mad: Your the parent, taking his xbox off him might be the kick up the ar*e he needs.

Lieja

I feel quite bad for OP's son - those games consoles are ridiculously addictive! Especially if he doesn't do well in a normal social situation.

If you really want this behaviour to stop you need to be consistently strict about it. If your eldest is reinforcing your rules (and you're happy that him being 'in charge' of your youngest won't cause bigger problems) then you've got to stick to your guns and not just let him off because it's been a hard day. How old is eldest?

Obviously you've got a lot on your plate, so how about a 'family meeting' sort of thing where you can lay down your house rules and make it clear that they 'must' stick to them. 16 year olds aren't adults, and if you're insistent on treating him like one then he'll think he can spend his nights doing what he likes.

Is he unhappy with his weight? This is definitely the part I'd be getting strict on if he's making himself ill! Is it just me that thinks 2.8 miles is entirely walkable? Or if time is an issue and you can afford it, get him a bike!

I honestly believe that not leaving the house unless you really have to and sitting in front of a screen all day is indicative of a problem either mentally or physically, and a bit of regular exercise can do wonders for energy levels, sleep patterns and self esteem.

MoneyMate

Some food for thought ?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10540261/screen-time-ipad-tablet-digital-detox-difital-addiction.html

sweetme

You need to be tougher OP. Switch off the internet, remove the xbox controls. I've often swanned off to work with the internet router, sky control and xbox controls in my handbag, along with the house phone too . I work full-time and therefore can't control or supervise what my 16/17 year olds do but I can and will limit their internet/console time. You need to be cruel to be kind!

At the school run on Monday I got speaking to another mum, she said she didn't even know if her 15 year old had slept or played xbox all night before heading to school, I was appalled. Even at 15/16 it's still your responsibility to ensure your children get the sleep/structure they need to be healthy, responsible people.

EDIT: He will still love you even if you say no!

peachyprice

OP, if you take the xbox away when you go to work at 7pm, do you really think your son will sit there twiddling his thumbs and just go to bed at 11pm. Or, without anyone there to supervise him will he just go out wandering the streets because he's bored and get himself into even more trouble?

Sometimes you have to weigh up which option would be the lesser of two evils. Even though you may not like it at least you know he is home and safe.

nickj_2

Steve_T.D wrote: »

I'll be honest in saying i dont see the problem. I'm 29 and have a wife, 3 kids and have held a very good job for 9 years now. Ask me what i was doing between 16 and 18 and i'll tell you it was sleep all day, up all night on the playstation and only leaving the house to play football, go to the pub or go to college on the days i had to.

I think most kids go through this phase. I know my 21 year old brother did as well and now he is a fully qualified mechanic who has been working for the last year since he qualified without a problem and is now looking to buy a house.

For me based on my experience and the experiences of friends i think a lot of males go through this period in their mid to late teens these days and for me it helped me. Its the age to do this and just chill out and bum about before settling down into the adult world, the last swansong of little responsibility.

Relax and dont worry. This phase will pass and trying to ban or stop things will just cause friction that isnt needed. I appreciate not everyone will be the same as me but if he has 9 GCSEs he sounds like he is intelligent and will go on to do well.

one of my customer's sons was exactly the same , when i was working at their house he would get up at 2-00ish in the afternoon , go and do a cleaning job for an hour and then come back and get back to his xbox or whatever it was , his mum used to leave him a list of stuff that she wanted him to do which inevitably never got done . she would moan to me about his lifestyle , and yet , her and her husband were giving him money to buy and run his car , not charging him any lodging money and making life far too cushy for him
now he's married , got a really good job and lives in canada ,
you have 2 options , just accept this is what teenage kids do and let them get on with it and make their own mistakes , but ask him not to disturb you , or get tough and take the xbox away or control the hours spent on it

Buzzybee90

Between the ages of 16 and 17 I stayed up late at night to talk to my boyfriends (two different ones!), my mum found out and turned our router off. I found a way around it but I was a teen in love! I was still in school at this age and I grew out of staying up to MSN. Gaming I feel is slightly different as he's not using it for social interaction - or is he? Also sleeping all day just shouldn't be tolerated (unless someone works nights) and a lay in was 8 in our house so you need to be tougher.

How old is the oldest? What's he planning to do with his course? 9 GCSE 'passes' implies?