Everybody needs time out

ska_lover

Good OP glad you got it sorted

catkins

fluffnutter wrote: »

Many many men (and women) no doubt go for a pint after work. A way of winding down, of bridging the work day and the home day. It probably stops them walking in the door in a foul mood. It takes time to adjust between roles, particularly if both your working day and your home life is stressful. The OP's OH has just chosen a slightly more healthy approach by leaving out the pint

I doubt many of them go for a pint every night though

Goldiegirl

This doesn't sound like a new situation, so I was just wondering where the OP thought her husband was, for that hour after work if he wasn't coming home straight after work

bylromarha

When our kids were teeny and I was SAHM, OH was self employed and rarely talked to any one during the day as he drove around. When he got home, he'd sit in his car outside our house for 15 minutes to "prepare" himself for coming in.

Didn't begrudge him the time at all - despite the ratty kids I was dealing with.

Having said that, I always used to get me time at the weekends - he used to take the kids out, or I'd go have a coffee and read.

It's all about talking to each other and keep on communicating through it all. Preschoolers take it out of you, so it can easily descend into "I do more than you" when you're snappy and tired. So keep talking.

terra_ferma

KxMx wrote: »

Being a stay at home parent doesn't mean you should do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare. The OH needs to help out as well. Certainly not choose to spend an extra hour at work each shift!
Nothing wrong with doing the lions share as the SAHP but not all, no way.

agree with this, the fairest way would be to think about how many hours you work every week on childcare, household tasks, shopping etc etc, then compare to his full time job including commuting, any work from home etc, and make it more even if it's unfair on any of you two (obviously not applied strictly, it just gives an idea of how much work the two partners are putting in and makes it fair for both of you, as I found people often have different perceptions as to how much work they are actually doing...).

foolofbeans

Goldiegirl wrote: »

This doesn't sound like a new situation, so I was just wondering where the OP thought her husband was, for that hour after work if he wasn't coming home straight after work

OH works variable hours and I don't actually take much notice of the hours on his time sheet just the sum total of pay he gets
I always believed he was at work....and he was :rotfl:

Spendless

Oh this thread brings back memories and how I felt when discovering that DH had stopped behind an hour at work to play cards on the pc! Days before we had home internet, whilst I coped with kids at the time of day my friend dubbed 'the witching hour'. I used to physically feel something snap inside me with tiredness around this time.

Allocate some time on your own, without children when husband is around, to go for a coffee/go shopping/play a sport whatever you like doing.

I'd also suggest some slow cooker meals so other than popping the ingredients in and switching it on, you need to nothing more than dish up once cooked, to free you up from spending time in the kitchen whilst trying to watch kids.