The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Chardonnay

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Chardonnay, your post echoes what a number of people are saying regarding our partner's drinking. OH has cut down to about one third of the amount he used to drink and I know he's really, really happy with that. However, there are partners who find themselves feeling uncomfortable with the change in behaviour and that can become problematic. I'm choosing to spend a bit of time spoiling my OH while we make the transition as a thank you for being supportive and I honestly think that's the best way forward for us.

However, there's another blog I'm dipping into called A Dappled Path by Annie who agreed to stop drinking for 30 days and blog daily about it. She's made it to 30 days (yay!) and on that day had an incredibly revealing conversation with her husband. I'd guess she's in the same position as a select few of us on this thread - she has recognised she can't always stop when she should, so has decided she's better off being realistic. I don't think her husband has, which means there is a problem they haven't begun to address. It must be incredibly tempting to just have one to keep the partner company and I, for one, know where that goes.

Linky here, if anyone's interested in reading her 30 Day AF Blog from Day 1. Her posts are fairly short and easy on the eye.
http://annieuk101.wordpress.com/2014/08/


Minor achievement for me last night - we had pasta with pesto and a few other goodies and it wasn't until I sat down next to OH to actually begin eating that I remembered I used to round the flavours off with a glass (a?) of red and hadn't given it a second thought. That might have had something to do with finishing defrosting the fridge while I was cooking, but who cares - I didn't give it a second thought, didn't experience any cravings, didn't mind not drinking. And having pasta was a huge part of thinking I couldn't stop drinking. Today is Day 70, so that's 10 weeks AF.

Thanks Honey Bear. It's good that your OH has cut down on his drinking. It's important to have our partners' support. It must be doubly hard not to have that support.

Thanks for the link to Annie's blog. I'm engrossed already! I really find these blogs very inspirational!

Well done on Day 70, that is amazing! :T

Chardonnay

graemecarter wrote: »

Great post. I identify a lot.
It took me a long time to realise it, but I put alcohol before everything I enjoy doing.
I previously had a few hobbies/sports I have always enjoyed doing, but I stopped doing all of them and drank more. Somehow, the alcohol pushed those things out of my life. No wonder it made me miserable.

For most normal people, they can change their drinking habits to reach their goals. For me, I'd change my goals to suit my drinking.

How many times did I say to myself "I am not drinking this month/week/etc" but justify it to myself that I didn't have to reach that goal?? Many many times.

Thanks Graeme. Great post from you too, especially the bit about changing your goals to suit your drinking. I have definitely been guilty of that too!

I actually went out for a run this morning - on a Sunday morning!! That would usually be unthinkable for me! I have to say I didn't enjoy it that much but despite not drinking, we went to bed late last night as we do on a Saturday so might avoid the Sunday runs in future and stick to Saturday ones. However, it was so nice not to have alcohol dictating my weekend for once - very liberating actually!

4/31 for me please Shaggy. Had a nice night in last night, made sure we had some non-alcoholic treats in. OH didn't bother with beer although I did offer him some twice. Had a glass of Cranberry juice with sparkling water which was actually very nice. Off out later for my daughter's 19th birthday meal with family and the wine would usually be flowing so that will be a little testing but I'm still determined to enjoy it and at least I will be able to enjoy my evening when I get home, rather than feel heavy and tired and ready for bed!

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Barny1979

Won't be drinking today, so 5/28 AFDs today

debjay

2/16 for tonight please. I totally agree about getting OH's support but unfortunately, although he's cut down since I have from January, he still drinks way over his weekly units over the 3 nights he does drink I don't nag though as don't see the point and don't think it helps.

maman

Hello All:hello:


Back from my holiday. Had a great time and drank moderately IMO. Mostly 2-3 G&Ts each night but sadly that was with full fat tonic as Turkey doesn't seem to do slimline. So good on the alcohol but bad on the calories.:(


I read this in the paper:


http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/oct/03/drinkers-pill-alcohol-cravings-consumption-nalmefene


Not sure if this came up when I was away but if they're going to prescribe for the equivalent of half a bottle of wine a day then surgeries are going to be extremely busy!!


Flying back yesterday evening, I managed an AF day. Didn't fancy any at lunchtime and then abstained on the flight in case I needed to help with driving from the airport.


So 1 AFD for October please Shaggy.


I'm aiming for the full SNC this week too.:)

gien

I've been away for a few days (uni visits with eldest) so not been around but I am on target with 5/31 so far (including tonight).

BlueDaisy

1/19 so far

Chardonnay

5/31 please Shaggy. Thanks for all your hard work!

Honey_Bear

5/31 please, Shaggy.

Belle from the Tired of Thinking About Drinking blog and 100 Day Challenge stopped by the thread over the weekend to have a read. I'm at the stage of her Challenge when I have to email her every day to report in sober and it came up in back and forth discussion, and she asked if I could send her the link. She corrected me on something I said, which is that The Bubble Hour isn't her, but she does do audios - they're called The Sober Podcasts. I haven't tried them yet.

I heard about that news story, Maman. Last year I read a book by a highly skilled well-known in his field French doctor who lost pretty much everything because he's an alcoholic, because I found it in the libray when I was thinking my drinking was a problem. He experimented with a drug for years that he found meant that the didn't have the cravings for alcohol, but could enjoy a glass or two and then stop. I very much suspect that his work has now become a treatment and for alcoholics who genuinely have tried everything they can to stop, and want to, but can't - that drug might be an absolute life-saver. I'm so, so relieved I stopped when I did, because if I now thought a pill could save me, I'd still be sloshing it back. I don't want to take a pill every day for the rest of my life to perpetuate a bad habit. I very much fear that the press has done a great deal of harm over the way this story has been reported.

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

2 more AFDs to add for Thursday and yesterday.



Shaggyx