The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Redemptionsong

graemecarter wrote: »

Exactly that.
I have a huge blind spot where alcohol is concerned, and whatever I did I wasn't able to get it 'under control'. This baffled me.

Speaking for me here (no-one else), that's how my alcoholism manifests itself in me. I am powerless over it. I would sometimes drink when I didn't want to (though I often wanted to), and I would frequently drink more than I had planned at the outset.

I couldn't manage this alone so got some outside help. There I discovered there are many other people like me. They are successful/functioning in many areas of their lives, but not in their alcohol habits, and this had ramifications for other areas of life.

If you find this thread doesn't go far enough to help you cut down/stop your drinking, by all means look elsewhere as well.
I read this thread AND do other things to help me stay stopped (I was great at stopping drinking, but would only stop for a day or two :rotfl:)

Thank you for sharing your experience and advice, it is very much appreciated and welcome Mr Carter (i feel i should refer to you this way as your a wise and worldly soul and therefore deserve such respect )

I absolutely take on board what your saying, my reason for joining this thread was to "put it out there" test the water i guess, as I think I'm just teetering on edge of loosing control (yes, I'm still telling myself I have control, we'll see) and want to prove to myself I can reign it back in, granted I'm not doing very well so far but I am finding this thread incredibly encouraging and helpful so for that Im thankful.

honey bear I'm really enjoying the book so far (housework can wait till another day) really insightful and have had a couple of "ahhh" moments :rotfl: thanks for the recommendation

Fruball

Redemptionsong wrote: »

Fruball, you're doing pretty good, better than me so give yourself credit if your doing better than last month. I like you I have best of intentions - it just seems to end there tho! just don't get it, in other areas of life I can be disciplined - if I put my mind to to it, weight, work, home, excersise - whatever else i can be disciplined (not super efficient by any means but at least in control) and now I've actually seen my debt added up, I bet I'll tackle this as best I can and have it sorted as best i can. But when it comes to drinking its like I've a mental block, I can be "disciplined" on work nights etc. but still have a wine or 2! Why?? When I'm being good and A/F I have the old iPod in my lugs for walks, housework, bedtime etc. listening to self help gurus or the like (cant believe ive actually admitted this :embarasse ) to keep me motivated then after a couple of weeks I'll let my guard down, thinking am soo sorted and start to enjoy living a A/F life and getting on with things then for whatever reason (holiday, bad day, tough week at work, stressed - I could go on and on and on) I gradually slip back into the old bad habit!

Didn't mean share that much, sorry folks - verbal (wine) diahorea on a quitting alcohol thread - And the award for the biggest Faux Pas goes to . . . .

Well night folks (walks away, head hung in shame) x x

Sadly I am not doing as well as last month I don't think. I should be steadily adding more AF days each month but I am not, purely because the 2 days AF in a row doesn't happen.

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Redemption Song, I'm probably not alone on this thread in recognising what you've just posted. I've also been there, done that, bought the tee shirt and caught the disease. I'm going to tell you a secret - if you want to fail, keep going down the 'self help' road.

There's an excellent book called 59 Seconds by a psychologist called Richard Wiseman that debunks the highly lucrative (ie a licence to print money) self-help business/myth once and for all. In it, he quotes the research into whether the outcome is better if you use 'self help' or straightforward, methodical, proven ways of changing behaviours. I borrowed it from the library earlier this year and it has changed my life completely.

I haven't quoted your post because if you want to delete it tomorrow that's okay and I'll delete this post, although if I do, at some point I'm going to find a way to repost the details about Richard Wiseman's book.

16/31 Getting there - with more than a little help from Professor Wiseman.

That is very thoughtful. We have all been there where we wish we hadn't posted something and there is nothing worse than finding out it has been quoted :rotfl:

Well folks, I am throwing in the towel. Well, not exactly throwing in the towel as in giving up 'giving up' but getting other help. It is pretty clear that in the time I have been in this group, I have not achieved what I wanted with regards to cutting right down on my alcohol. Yes, better than I was a few years ago but not good enough.

I have booked hypnotherapy for this week :eek: I gave up smoking (for a good number of years) using hypnotherapy before so I have high hopes that it will help me quit booze too. In fact, I am going for both! By the end of this week, I intend to be a non-smoking teetotaller!

I am quite clearly not in control of my drinking. I drink on planned non-drinking days, I make excuses as to why I can drink, and I always drink more than I mean to. The amount I drink (more than I see anyone else post here) is bound to be destroying my liver and I consider myself very lucky that I do not have any (visible) signs of alcohol abuse yet but if I don't stop now, I am certain that will change.

There. I said it.

Honey_Bear

Fruball, if we didn't need help, let's be totally honest, we wouldn't be here. If being here isn't enough, as Graeme Carter says above then add another resource, but don't just throw in the towel, please. Wanting to cut down or give up is the first step on the path, not the journey itself.


You might be willing to be honest about how much you're putting away, but that doesn't mean it's more than other people. I have no intention of listing my all failures, weaknesses and sins here - it's enough that I'm here!


If I could have gone on kidding myself I could cut down, I would have gone down that road. It's because I've tried and failed several times that I've decided to knock it on the head completely. Posting daily and reading about other people's efforts is helping me enormously. In fact, it's one of the things that's making it possible.


So glad you're enjoying 59 Seconds, Redemption Song. I love the way he writes, the fact that he doesn't lecture or brow beat and the simplicity of telling his readers what actually works. He's written a follow up called Rip it Up and I'm reading that now. It's just as good!

debjay

9/20 for today please.

Barny1979

Missed updating yesterday, but 13/26 AFDs today

Redemptionsong

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Fruball, if we didn't need help, let's be totally honest, we wouldn't be here. If being here isn't enough, as Graeme Carter says above then add another resource, but don't just throw in the towel, please. Wanting to cut down or give up is the first step on the path, not the journey itself.


You might be willing to be honest about how much you're putting away, but that doesn't mean it's more than other people. I have no intention of listing my all failures, weaknesses and sins here - it's enough that I'm here!


If I could have gone on kidding myself I could cut down, I would have gone down that road. It's because I've tried and failed several times that I've decided to knock it on the head completely. Posting daily and reading about other people's efforts is helping me enormously. In fact, it's one of the things that's making it possible.


So glad you're enjoying 59 Seconds, Redemption Song. I love the way he writes, the fact that he doesn't lecture or brow beat and the simplicity of telling his readers what actually works. He's written a follow up called Rip it Up and I'm reading that now. It's just as good!

I totally agree with what honey bear and mr carter has said fruball, if you feel you need another resource then do what is best for you. But don't be put of here by feeling your less worthy because you think you drink more or less than XYZ.

I'm in no way qualified to offer advice as am pretty much in same boat but I don't think it's about the quantities at all, different people can handle different amounts anyway. I think drinking is more about our reasons (or excuses) and mind sets for drinking.

I personally can understand how seeing people achieve their monthly goals while you stumble on first hurdle (I'm just talking about me here) can put you on a downer but they have most likely been where we are at some point in the past. Everyone's path is different, and they may struggle next week/month/year while your doing great and you'll understand. But i also understand if you need time out to focus and get yourself back on track. All the very best Fruball x x

Barny1979

Actually I mis-counted, it's the 17th today, so 14/26 AFDs

Honey_Bear

17/31 please, Shaggy.

Fruball

1 more please Shaggy. I was out this evening and I don't really drink when I go out as I can't do moderation and won't drink tonnes when I am out.

Shame I can't go out more often lol!

Thanks for the comments above. I am throwing the towel in so far as I can't do it on my own... I am going to stay on here though, at least for the time being. I trust hypnosis to sort this out. I didn't do it before as I just wasn't really ready to give up. I am very ready now.

Honey_Bear

I've felt horribly tired for the past three weeks and I it seems this has to do with knocking the drinking on the head; some people have suggested on other forums that it's to do with cutting out the sugar in the alcohol. Has anyone got any views on this? I could really do with getting some energy back. It's absolutely not depression, something I would recognise, it's purely physical lethargy.