The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Barny1979

17/24 AFDs today

Arkers

Good morning everyone,


1 AFD for last night please Shaggy.


Have a lovely day - Arkers x

Honey_Bear

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

I will be doing really well if I managed to get to 11/16, which is appalling bearing in mind I used to easily mange 4d/week AF.

Anyone got any ideas how I can stop myself getting so tempted mid-week? My downfalls are white wine and rum & diet coke, but its usually the white wine that gets me drinking

Alcohol is progressive. The longer we go on drinking, the more likely it is to become problematic. You're very, very lucky in that you decided to cut back to three nights a week and have discovered that isn't as easy as it used to be and you're at the stage where moderation is still very possible - you've managed 7 this month, which is brilliant, so you know you can do it. It doesn't mean you have a problem with alcohol yet, it means it would be a very good idea if you decided to deal with it sooner rather than later because a problem is likely to creep up on you without you realising it. Most people who develop a problem blithely carry on drinking seven nights a week, saying, 'I haven't got a problem. A couple of years ago I went three months without a drink' and are genuinely unaware that things can change massively in two years. As I was. (Three months before I had to give up completely I managed 20 days in a row.)

What saved me was recognising what triggered me to take the first sip of the first glass in the evening. It was a habit. If I could get through the first fifteen minutes of the evening meal without a glass of wine I was fine for the whole of the rest of the evening. That was my danger time and once I'd come to terms with that, the rest of the evening was absolutely fine.

The single most important factor in dealing with those dangerous 15 minutes was finding something else that I enjoyed drinking that didn't contain alcohol. (Swapping one boozy drink for another to try to cut down is something most people try who want to cut down on their drinking and it's a recognised stage of the process of knowing we should cut down, or get control over our drinking, or give up.)

I was never a beer drinker, but fortunately AF beer works for me, and nowadays it's available in most places. I never let myself run out of Bec*s Bl*e and it's been an absolute godsend.

Today is the second anniversary of the last day I drank, so I've got 729 days under my belt. We're going out tonight and the host of the party that night is the host again tonight, so nothing fundamentally important has changed in my life in my relationship with friends which is great. The only real difference is that I'm not dreading it because I know I'll get drunk and have a horrible all day hangover tomorrow. Granted, I may be tired, because it'll probably be a late night and these days I love my sleep, but I won't say or do anything beyond the pale and I won't have to apologise tomorrow for my behaviour, all of which had become a regular feature of my life and now aren't. Result!

23/31 please, Shaggy.

maman

Congratulations on your anniversary HB!!:T Have a lovely time at the party tonight.


lucy, do you drink at home midweek or go to a bar? An obvious way of avoiding drinking at home midweek is not to buy any. If you're out with friends then you might want to give mid-week socialising a miss until you set good habits and feel more confidence/willpower in refusing. Otherwise I'd go for an hour/drink at a time. HB says she had a 'danger' 15 minutes I found, to start with, it'd be on my mind all evening. So I'd put off the first drink and then the closer it got to bedtime I'd tell myself what a waste it would be of an AF day. I drank gallons of water to begin with as I don't really like soft drinks much. Then I moved to hot drinks generally tea but often hot Ribena as it's easier to sip hot drinks slowly. Other ideas are distraction like signing up for a class or the gym or a swim or anything that will occupy you for most of the evening and keep you out of the pub!


It does get easier. Honest.;)


I had a couple of glasses with lunch yesterday. Nothing to rave about and didn't even think about carrying on later.

cathybird

debjay wrote: »

12/20 for tonight. Have struggled this week in the lovely weather. Had a BBQ on Tuesday and some cider. Then had another couple of drinks last night. Anybody else find it more difficult in the nice weather? I still think I'm on holiday and we've been back nearly 4 weeks now. It's not helping with the SW journey either. Still 1lb heavier than before my hols
Well done to everyone who is keeping on track :T

debjay, have to agree with you, it's harder in the hot weather. I toyed with the idea of doing today as an AFD but it's as if I don't have the mental energy. I have had a knackering week and in the heat don't sleep well so this afternoon have just snoozed basically and am now slowly downing a G&T. Oh well, Saturdays are not usually an AFD for me anyway so it's not as if it's a break in the routine.

Honey Bear, congrats on your anniversary from me too. :T:T

Arkers

Good morning everyone,


Three home measures of G&T....I don't normally post if I drink, but feel I need to focus for this evening so making myself check in. TBH I could have drunk a lot more then this which is always the case.


Elusive Lucy - I can totally relate to what you're saying. It's also harder to have an earlier night when it's so light outside and it's harder to sleep. Have you considered going for a walk....sometimes it's the simple things. Find a local beauty spot and enjoy. I know I have increased my walking, much to my dogs delight:T.


Arkers x

Honey_Bear

Thanks for the congratulations. Much appreciated.

It was a strangely sort of oddly prescient day. My ten year old laptop has been having the vapours for months and my patience finally snapped earlier in the week so I phoned our techie guy to order a new one a few days ago. I had no idea when I'd get it, and much to my surprise it turned up yesterday. Fab. So, that's my two year reward to myself and it kept me up very, very late playing with it. I'm not a fan of Windows 10, but there doesn't seem to be much choice in the matter, so I'll suck it up.

One of the couples we spent that final evening drinking with phoned for a favour - they never phone, they never ask for favours. Turns out we can do them one, so everyone gets what they want. All good.

And as expected, we then spent the evening with pretty much everyone else that was at the party the night I swigged my last booze, they all drank, I had Shloer which is now much too sweet for me but it was on the table, probably because I was there, so I sucked that up too, very gratefully. We got home exactly when I thought we would, having walked partway with another couple, one of whom used to be a hairdresser so we had a long conversation. She's cutting my hair on Monday, about two years since my last professional cut and about the same length of time since she's wielded her scissors, too. We're both very excited about what we've agreed I need. Couldn't be happier, because at the moment when I see myself in photographs I find myself thinking, 'Dear god, I look like a matchstick with my hair plastered to my scalp. Very unfeminine. I need an easy care style.' Thanks to her, I've found the very thing. Perfect.

So, today, two years on, feels absolutely right. Really proud of what I've achieved so far, and very, very surprised at it, if I'm honest. I loved drinking. I loved the taste of it, the feeling of getting light-headed, I'm afraid to say I even loved letting go and being raucous ... until the morning after. It was that that defeated me in the end and I'm so, so glad I don't live like that any more.

It's been a brilliant two years and I couldn't have done it without this thread and Belle's 100 Day Challenge. Absolute lifesavers, both. Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to this thread over the past couple of years, especially Shaggy and the first person who welcomed me - Maman. You've all made something that I thought was impossible very do-able indeed, and I know I wouldn't have made it without you. Many, many thanks.

Day 731 and 24/31 please, Shaggy.

maman

That's an amazing post HB. It's great to hear your success story and thank you so much for your kind words.:o


So glad you're treating yourself to a new laptop and a hairdo. You deserve an anniversary treat.:A


May I ask if your friends have stopped commenting on your AFness now? (really need a nosey smiley just for me;)).


Despite a couple of glasses on Friday I haven't really got back to 'normal' so don't feel inclined to have a drink. I am feeling better in myself but still not right. I'm just taking the positives on the AF front. Another unintended outcome of my AFness was that we didn't bother putting out the glass recycling box this week. In a fortnight it only had an empty JD bottle from DH (he's less inclined to drink wine if I'm not) and an empty HP sauce bottle!:rotfl:


Hope you're OK manpants?:)


22 AFDs please Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Afternoon :hello:

2 more AFDs for Wednesday and Thursday.



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Today is the second anniversary of the last day I drank, so I've got 729 days under my belt.

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T