The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Barny1979

Propose 24 AFDs out of 31 for July

Honey_Bear

Well done, CathyBird! :A

Huge congratulations, Pricey, on your daughter's first class degree. You must be so, so proud of her!

ManPants wrote: »

I'm drinking. I started on Saturday when a friend came to visit and I made cocktails and haven't stopped drinking since.

Already plotting in my head about drinking tonight as going out to a restaurant. Obviously, sensible thing would be for me to drive.
At times I can have a sensible conversation in my head and accept the fact that this lifetime has had the reoccurring theme of "addiction" & as such I can't have booze either. Then I get annoyed and resentful that other people can have a drink and I'm forever going to be the tee total and bored. I really just need to focus on tonight.

You've achieved a fantastic 22 AF days in June, ManPants, so you have a lot to be very, very happy and proud about.

As to the rest of it, well, there you go. The reason some of us don't drink at all is that we know, absolutely know, that we'll do the same thing if we let ourselves have 'just one.' Maybe not today, but soon and for the rest of our lives, as Bogart put it. No one gives up booze completely because they want to, they stop drinking because they know they have to. I can't say I've ever been annoyed or resentful that I can't drink, which rather surprises me, but each to their own emotional reactions.

What I can say is that for at least five years before I knocked drinking on the head completely the very thought of stopping would bring me out in a cold sweat. How could I do that? How would I celebrate birthdays / Christmas / special evens / weddings / achievements? Looking at the future and thinking that seems to worry a lot of people, hence, I think, the 'One day at a time' mantra.

Being around other people who were drinking is just so much a part of my life I never, ever thought I could do it, and having worked out it was all too much, I'd carry on as before, thinking I could manage it. And if I could, I'd still be drinking.

You know you can do One Day. In fact, you know that you can do rather a lot of days in a row, and that you feel hideous about yourself when you start drinking and then carry on. It's your call, but from where I am, being AF seems to me to be a lot easier and I'm terribly relieved to be out of the cycle of working really hard at not drinking, beating myself up for indulging and then having to work really hard at not drinking again. That cycle doesn't miraculously get any easier in my, sadly, extensive experience.

Cravings, CuppaTea. Probably a much more difficult subject to be difinitive about than it would seem. It appears I had a 'high bottom' in that I seem to have stopped before I was physically addicted, so my cravings aren't those of someone who would be classed medically as an addict, but I certainly had a serious problem. After a couple of months they weren't something that bothered me much but I'd get an intense longing to join in when I was with people I really liked and everyone around me was having red wine with a lovely meal, very occasionally. It always shocked me and the intensity passed in about 10 seconds, leaving me feeling discombobulated for about 10 - 15 minutes until to be blunt, I got over myself. It didn't happen very often, thank goodness, and it only happened when I was fully relaxed I realised later. If I was tense for any reason - no cravings.

Sometimes I just had to remind myself I can't drink, deal with it and move on. It's a toughie at the time, but that's life sometimes. Self-discipline's like that.

They got less frequent the longer I was AF, and by the end of the first year I'd have a craving maybe once every couple of months. I don't get them any more, around about 23 months. So, in reality, the first 60 days are tricky, and the next 10 months or so, hmm, maybe anything from once a week to once a month.

It gets much, much easier. There are times when I have to remind myself that I could be stupid and pick up a glass and swig something, so I can't ever say I'd never, ever drink again. However, I honestly can't say I miss it, want it, or even think having one would be lovely now. It would be the single stupidest thing I've ever done and by God I've done some stupid things in my time, drunk and sober.

I don't loathe the idea of drinking, or have any problems with OH drinking, but my life is 100% better without alcohol and I never, ever want to go back to being who I was when I drank. I don't miss it and am thankful for all the support I received that made stopping possible every time I think about it.

How people who are physically addicted by the time they stop experience cravings and deal with them, I wouldn't know but it's probably tougher than I had it so, once again, I'm just grateful that I stopped when I did, rather than leaving it another couple of years. I know exactly where I was on the addiction scale and I was exceptionally lucky I got out when I did.

1/31 please, Shaggy.

Arkers

Good morning everyone,


Wise words as always HB.
1 AFD please Shaggy.


Arkers x

cathybird

Morning all and 1/15 for me please Shaggy.

cathybird

ManPants wrote: »

thanks CathyBird. I drove so other half could drink.

ManPants, so you quite literally put on the brakes? ... Well done :T:T - I'm so pleased you did because these things can be such a slippery slope.

cathybird

Thank you Honey Bear

PriceySOS

cathybird wrote: »

Thank you Honey Bear

Thanks from me too, Honey Bear xx

CuppaTea

Well done Man Pants, that's good to hear, something else to feel proud of.

Pricey, congrats to your daughter and to you, i'm sure your support helped.

Honey, thanks for such a lovely post, you always write with such meaning and clarity. It does help and its much appreciated.

Am declaring early as tonight I am driving. +1 please Shaggy!

ElusiveLucy

Right, I need to pull my socks up and get back on this. I had a really bad week this week and have chalked up just 1 AFD bringing my total for June to 11/20 which is positively shameful.


I have been avoiding coming on here as I knew I had nothing positive to post, but in reality this is exactly the time I should have been here as I need the support.


I am going to set myself a target of 16 for July and I will be angry with myself if I don't make it since it equates to not drinking mon-thur each week and that is what I should be sticking to. At the moment even that is a challenge.

ManPants

Congratulations PriceySOS. First class honours is outstanding and shows real commitment and tenacity. I always was too busy drinking and taking drugs to knuckle down to actually do any more than the basic uni work.

Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement. I'm still on the wretched iPad so who knows what this will come out like. Referring back to something you said HoneyBear, I sadly have come to realise I'm not the sort of person that can just have the one either. If night 1 passes peacefully then I can guarantee by night 2/3 it will be chaos and form part of a week of bingeing. This time it stopped at 5 which exactly knocked me off my target for June.

I do have a tablet to take for a forthcoming wedding which will stop me drinking. I only have one left but if I mix it with alcohol its effects are well known to include projectile vomiting. It is really going to be quite the social event and I can't possibly play up at this one as I will absolutely see everyone again whether I want to or not. What I do want to do is go, have a few champagnes, not get !!!!ed on wine with the wedding breakfast and make a fool/nuisance of myself afterwards. There is a free bar all day and Father of Bride has already said he hopes I will have a few drinks on the day. It would be impossible for me not to play up given the volume of booze I could get through easily. I am already dreading the aftermath if I were to drink. I just can't.

Calling in for tonight early. Sorry Shaggy I don't think I can do the red and change font size. 1/29 July.

MP x