The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Baileysonice

Just one more to add for my may total. I had a couple of glasses of wine with my work meal and then a couple last night with a friend over dinner. Happy with that and today I am AF.

8 please shaggy

Barny1979

18/24 AFDs for Wednesday

Dizzy_Imp

Well, I've just had to scroll back through pages of posts to see when I last posted an AFD _pale_

I have been reasonably good though, despite outward appearances on here...so coming in with 18/31 up to last night. Nowhere near target this month but all ALDs which for me is OK.

Hope Shaggy is having a lovely holibobs, lucky girl!

ManPants

Morning

Wonder of wonders, OH had no booze last night despite a half drank bottle of wine in the fridge. That takes him to 2 this week. That in itself is enough to signal a small effort on his behalf but I haven't mentioned it more than just the once and not followed it up with one of my helpful suggestions of seeing if he can add another 2 to the total by the end of the week.

18/31 AF for me.

Apologies Shaggy, I thought you were male. You just seem so organised with your totals that I assumed you were male.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
And hope your holiday was fab.

M.P X

maman

ManPants wrote: »

Apologies Shaggy, I thought you were male. You just seem so organised with your totals that I assumed you were male.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

M.P X

:eek:


I think you're wise not to say anything to OH MP. My guess he's thinking that if he doesn't 'declare' he's planning an AF day then he doesn't need to feel embarrassed or beat himself up if he 'fails'.


No plans to drink today but it might be the last AF for May as we're away at the weekend. I'm staying with family and not big drinkers so it'll be moderate while I'm with them.


10 AFDs please Shaggy.

Honey_Bear

maman wrote: »

I'm so sorry HB, I now realise how that came across. What I meant was that manpants might feel he was on the outside of his social group when he was sober in the pub and they weren't so would have a boring evening to start with but he would find in time that you can meet up and chat with people and have fun without the booze. I know some people on here have avoided social occasions to start with rather than join in with the drinking. Then, as you've said there's the other end of the scale where the people you meet have so much to drink that they are boring. I do hope I didn't cause offence, certainly not intended.:)

Absolutely no offence caused, taken or given a moment's thought. In the early days sticking to the decision to be a non-drinker are tough because of the temptation to slip back into old, habitual behaviour. And to begin with, when you're not feeling much better, it's easy to find yourself bored by your friends' behaviour and I took that from what ManPants said, Maman, as I think you did.

If I hadn't avoided some social occasions early on I'd probably have had several boring evenings with them, too. I don't, for instance, go the pub quiz on Thursday nights with OH. I've been once, the quiz itself was great but our besties decided to make an evening of it and drank three bottles of wine between them which brings out the worst in both of them. That's what's boring - dealing with the same behaviour over and over again.

Now, nearly two years on I still don't go to the pub quiz but it's because I get so tired doing all the stuff that I can do now that I'm not sipping on effervescent vitamin C, taking ibuprophen and feeling sorry for myself. This morning I silicone-sealed around the hob and various bits of the kitchen sink (one more bit to do, can't do it until the rest is dry) which I've been trying to get the courage together to tackle for years. Sober - things happen; hungover - nothing. Other people might want to climb Everest, I want to be able to fix things in the house.

From what ManPants has said about the social life he shares with his OH, avoiding alcohol completely isn't going to be possible. Navigating through that will mean, I think, being bored ocasionally when out with friends, but when we start filling up our own lives with new stuff, that genuinely doesn't actually matter any more. It's about give and take.

You were right about being a little bit bored sometimes, but one of the reasons people give themselves to keep on drinking is that they think life without booze will be boring. That's what I was trying to tackle - it's an excuse that I gave myself for years and now wish I could have all those years back to do the stuff I want to do and havent got the time. I made three dove-tailed joints this week, as well. I'm quietly very proud of that considering I couldn't saw straight six weeks ago. (The evening class tutor was superb.)

ManPants wrote: »

Morning

Wonder of wonders, OH had no booze last night despite a half drank bottle of wine in the fridge. That takes him to 2 this week. That in itself is enough to signal a small effort on his behalf but I haven't mentioned it more than just the once and not followed it up with one of my helpful suggestions of seeing if he can add another 2 to the total by the end of the week.

18/31 AF for me.

Apologies Shaggy, I thought you were male. You just seem so organised with your totals that I assumed you were male.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
And hope your holiday was fab.

M.P X

Oh, ManPants. Such lovely, lovely joyous news about your day out and then you have to go and say ... that.

All I can say is: Just wait until Shaggy gets home!

26/31 please, Our Wandering Returner. I hope you had a wonderful time.

cathybird

Morning all! I got home last night very stressed from work, drank too much as a result and today I feel a bit rubbish, not to put too fine a point on it. So an AFD for me (it was going to be anyway) making it 14/15.

maman

Honey_Bear wrote: »

You were right about being a little bit bored sometimes, but one of the reasons people give themselves to keep on drinking is that they think life without booze will be boring. That's what I was trying to tackle - it's an excuse that I gave myself for years and now wish I could have all those years back to do the stuff I want to do and havent got the time. I made three dove-tailed joints this week, as well.

That's exactly right!:) I agree that MP won't be able to keep up with his social group and OH and avoid being around booze. As we've been discussing recently, it's not for us to dictate how other people behave. Personally I get a certain satisfaction from being in control and taking that decision for myself.
:T on the DIY. I'm in awe as I wouldn't know where to start.


Almost at target cathy. S*d it days are all too familiar.

ManPants

HoneyBear & Maman........it was a joke i promise!

maman wrote: »

That's exactly right!:) I agree that MP won't be able to keep up with his social group and OH and avoid being around booze.

After my Christmas incident I had no choice but socialise given the time of year and expectations upon me/us but was so terrified & ashamed that not drinking - but being in an alcohol arena - was easy. The following months became more problematic what with ski-ing holidays, social engagements & OH & I trying to repair our relationship and slipping into a previous pattern where we had operated from<apparently safely> for the previous 12 years.

Since then I've managed to have periods of abstinence but I think that my wedding in a stately home and the flurry of apologies the next day after my behaviour whilst drunk really have cemented my need not to drink. Add in other evenings where i didn't necessarily act out but was so sick the next day that I spent quadruple the time recovering than I ever had drinking (30 hour hangover was the worst).

I wouldn't say I'm there yet but my periods of abstinence are greater & my hangovers when I do drink are so bad that it makes no sense to actually drink, even occasionally.
I have already identified 2 potential occasions in June where the temptation to drink will be heightened due to the social groups PLUS another wedding in July. It is a union of two uber - privileged individuals and a free bar. It is not an occasion where I can spank anyone or misbehave. It is also people I will absolutely be seeing again whether I like it or not. O.H will be stressed & uptight so the temptation for me is to grab two large G&T's & try & cajole him into having a good time & relaxing.

I guess cross bridges when the time comes.

Glorious day here and all I can say is thank you for all your support on here as ordinarily I would be lying stagnating hungover in bed still.

M.P X

Wanna_Bee_Free

I didn't drink last night and slept really well, didn't wake at 4am worrying as usual. I am shooting for another one tonight, think that might be 5/14 including last Saturday, last night and this evening.
Interesting discussions on here re boring nights out. I find that when I'm drinking I have this false energy that keeps me happy and out whereas when I don't drink my tiredness really comes through. I guess this idea of drink masking things is true even for that. It's odd how it cam seem both stimulating in the sense of keeping you happy and out at the pub and a depressant at the same time.
I find that if I'm sober I realise how boring I am when drunk based on my friends.