Any advice on getting a child into their own bed?

Bea_zk

My daughter was a TERRIBLE sleeper; always in our bed and always up in the night. As I was expecting again, I had no choice but to love her in to her own room. I brought a small double bed with mattress on Groupon for around £100 and some bright bedding. This was my biggest expense. I then added fairy lights, some wall stickers, her books on a book shelf and all of her stuffed toys. I set it all up before we showed her and we made a huge fuss about it.

This didn't magically solve all of our problems with her sleeping I have to be honest. But the double bed meant she had space to toss and turn with less chance of falling off (also the bed is very low so no chance of getting hurt should she fall). It also meant that we could lie with her reading a book or until she fell asleep and then get back in each time she woke up. Gradually she stopped waking so much and now sleeps through in complete darkness. I'm not sure if a night light or mobile would just have given her something to distract her from actually falling asleep so we missed it out. Her room is also not very big and the bed takes up a lot of space but it was definitely worth it.

Can I also ask if you feel your little one is developing normally in all other areas? The reason I ask is because my cousin said she spent a whole week letting her daughter cry it out to the point where they were both a mess. She then discovered her daughter has Autism and says she will never rid herself of the guilt. I'm not saying your child has something wrong with her but rather that not every child has to fit a perfect mould and you can only do your best for them and for you. Because you say she is not yet associating mama and dada then maybe it will just take a while longer for everything to click.

Finally (sorry to go on, I have a tendency!) I think we have been religious about having a monitor for our girls and going in when they wake up rather than leaving them to cry. I really believe this has helped them to develop the reassurance that we are nearby and will come if they need us. I now just talk back in to the eldest a monitor to settle her and don't always even need to go in to her room.

Good luck - trying times but they make life feel so much richer )

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maman

maman wrote: »

I'm sure advice given here is well meaning but I think you need to talk to health Visitor/GP as well.

fluffnutter wrote: »

Why? He sounds like a completely normal 16 month old to me.

I thought the OP sounded a bit stressed and might find some support and reassurance in RL helpful.

mumps

I've often thought the easiest thing would be to swap rooms with them, in fact I often did as I hated being 3 in a bed but I meant that they seem to prefer parents bedroom to their own. My DH often went to sleep with me and woke with a child in the bed.

Sorry, that seems to make no sense but I do know what I mean but can't seem to say it.

jellyhead

Both of my children enjoyed co-sleeping but if it doesn't work for you or is affecting the quality of sleep for somebody who needs to be up for work the next day then there are solutions. Eldest is a dainty child but youngest is a starfish and is absolutely huge, so it's not comfortable, and my husband has back problems now and he can't co-sleep with my youngest if there are 3 of us in a bed.

I got youngest a single sized bed so that either I could cuddle him in it, or my husband could go and sleep there if needs be, and leave us to it. It's a low-down bed, shaped like a car and it has sides so a toddler wouldn't fall out. This is the one I got, http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/7380156.htm?CMPID=GS001&_$ja=cgid:7908948887|tsid:41409|cid:161741447|lid:58418815134|nw:g|crid:27928047047|rnd:1864395758130567335|dvc:c|adp:1o1

but a mattress on the floor would be similar, I suppose. My starfish child likes to have definite edges to his bed, he falls off the mattress otherwise.

When he was very young I used to lie down with him until he was asleep, then I progressed to sitting next to the bed, stroking his head, then staying near the door sorting out his books, then just staying upstairs so he knew I was nearby. Even now that he is 8 he still enjoys his bedtime routine with cuddles but says he will be fine to go away with school next week.

I'm one of those mums who carries a baby on her hip 24 hours a day if that's what the baby wants, so for me getting my kids to sleep in their own rooms was a gradual process and they HAD to feel safe and secure. Both have special needs to some extent, I felt that when a child really doesn't 'understand' as much as other children their own age then sometimes the usual 'methods' don't work.

But if you can find a way of making him feel safe and loved then it should work Both of mine like a routine, and they both like/d having an audiobook or lullaby CD left on when I left the room.