Any advice on getting a child into their own bed?

Mrs_Imp

We moved our eldest in to a bed at around 16 months as he hated his cot and would scream if we even took him near it. We didn't bother with a toddler bed, as it's just an extra expense. Weirdly, once he had a bed, he wanted to go to sleep in his cot, but only once trying in his bed first. This only lasted a couple of weeks though, but be prepared for it.

bylromarha

notanewuser wrote: »

May I ask why? He's a child, not a dog.

For some people co sleeping is not what they, or their child, want.

The OP obviously is one of those people who wants to now sleep separately from their child. If you have helpful tips to offer her on separate sleeping, then I'm sure she's all ears. But if all you want to do is insinuate other people's methods mean they treat their child like a dog, then it's probably best you unsubscribe from this thread.

notanewuser

bylromarha wrote: »

For some people co sleeping is not what they, or their child, want.

The OP obviously is one of those people who wants to now sleep separately from their child. If you have helpful tips to offer her on separate sleeping, then I'm sure she's all ears. But if all you want to do is insinuate other people's methods mean they treat their child like a dog, then it's probably best you unsubscribe from this thread.

Not what I meant. The OP hasn't actually said whether she does want different sleeping arrangements - I felt there was a lot of "should" in her post rather than "the time is right". Just incase that is the case I'm pointing out that there's no "should" about it.

It's odd to me that the general consensus seems to be that cats and dogs sleeping on beds is okay but it isn't for our own children. I find that rather sad.

bossymoo

OP I feel your pain. My DD is 3 (yes 3) and every night she comes looking for me. I'm exhausted. It's disturbed sleep, she wants to lay on my arm all night giving me pins and needles she wriggles, snores :rotfl: and breaks wind A LOT. I've checked if its tummy ache (she is still on medication for an earlier condition), but she says not.

Much as I adore her, there has only been one occasion in the last couple of months where both kids (I have a nearly 5yo too, who's pretty good with his sleep routine) have slept through in their own beds. This does nothing for my patience levels (!) and I look / feel about 100yrs old.

I've tried explaining to her, and asking why she wants me, and she just says "your bed is cosy" :doh: her bed is cosy too (she has a toddler bed, but I even swapped this with the single from the spare room without success).

She's now negotiating with me for a "bed with a ladder" like her brother (midsleeper) saying if she has that in a princess bedroom, she will sleep all night. So I gather she understands what my goal is.

Failing that, I shall carpet my room in mattresses and lop 8" off the bottom of the door. Then we can all just sleep where we drop.

Pffft.

balletshoes

we all need sleep - when my DD was younger we used to play musical beds many a night, so we could all find a place where we could get a decent nights sleep. We took the sides off the cot when my DD was 18 months old, and she was in a full size single bed (well, one of us was on musical bed nights ) when she was 2.

If you don't want to do this OP (for whatever reason if its not practical etc for your family) then you are going to have to perservere with the big boy bed, and not interacting with him after he's settled into bed. Good luck!

chirpychick

notanewuser wrote: »

May I ask why? He's a child, not a dog.

This is a really nasty comment. Which has really hurt me, to insinuate I treat my son like a dog by insisting he sleeps in his own bed is just awful.

The op in her title of her post wants her child to sleep independently, in her thread she says she wants him to sleep on his own. I gave my opinion.

I feel that if she gives in and lets him keep doing what he wants and not what she wants then he is dictating to her. But in MY OPINION she is the parent and him the child and it is down to the parent to enforce the rules not the child.
And if she gives in to him continuously then he will be sleeping in her bed for years to come yet.

I never said there was anything wrong with co- sleeping! My son as a baby co slept part of the time, he gradually went into a co sleeping cot, then the cot had the side attached, then he was moved to the other side of the room and eventually into his own room at 8 months old. Whereas my dog sleeps in the kitchen! :rotfl:

I was simply trying to help, giving my opinion which i stand by.

bylromarha wrote: »

For some people co sleeping is not what they, or their child, want.

The OP obviously is one of those people who wants to now sleep separately from their child. If you have helpful tips to offer her on separate sleeping, then I'm sure she's all ears. But if all you want to do is insinuate other people's methods mean they treat their child like a dog, then it's probably best you unsubscribe from this thread.

Thank you!

meritaten

all the OP wants is to move her 16 month old from sleeping in her bed to his own. I really don't understand why people are being so nasty about this! its a natural progression! if people have a problem with co-sleeping then its THIER problem. the OP wants advice on moving her little one on. and if you haven't got advice and just want to belittle people - then can I respectfully suggest you move on elsewhere? you are not helping here.

notanewuser

Kayalana99 wrote: »

DS is now 16months old, he is not very developed with his understanding (not sure what word to use really) i.e doesn't relate dada to his dad...or mama to me..although he can phyiscally say them.

That said I feel the only way were going to get him to sleep in his cot is by leaving him to cry himself to sleep, but I just feel cruel as he has no understanding..in my head I know all he wants is to cuddle up with us and doesn't know why he can't...ack.

It happened once, purely accidentdal I'm not sort of person who can just let him cry and cry..we just simply slept through. His blanket and pillow were on the floor and the cot was covered in teeth marks (he tends to cry and bite bars when he wants to come out) but he was asleep at 5/6am.

We used to let him sleep with us, and then move him into his cot, and once he woke up he would scream and repeat...but just lately when we are moving him from bed to cot he is waking up easier and 8/10 doesn't settle in his cot anymore.

I know people can say its my own fault for letting him into bed from stage 1 but even as a baby baby he wouldn't sleep in a moses basket..as soon as you put him down he would just scream and scream no matter how much you rocked him etc etc I was a new mum and it was the only way I could sleep..I have a new DS2 and he is 3months and has never co - slept.

I have thought about sleeping with him to start with in his bed - although I would be willing I don't think his cot bed is built for the weight of an adult..although if people have had success with this one thing I did think of is buying him a toddler bed / stair gate / bed guard and emptying his room out... but obvouisly theirs alot cost involved in that!

There is no mention of why the OP is asking how to change it, nor whether she actually wants to. Lots of hints about what should be done (have bolded the examples).

chirpychick wrote: »

This is a really nasty comment. Which has really hurt me, to insinuate I treat my son like a dog by insisting he sleeps in his own bed is just awful.

The op in her title of her post wants her child to sleep independently, in her thread she says she wants him to sleep on his own. I gave my opinion.

I feel that if she gives in and lets him keep doing what he wants and not what she wants then he is dictating to her. But in MY OPINION she is the parent and him the child and it is down to the parent to enforce the rules not the child.
And if she gives in to him continuously then he will be sleeping in her bed for years to come yet.

I never said there was anything wrong with co- sleeping! My son as a baby co slept part of the time, he gradually went into a co sleeping cot, then the cot had the side attached, then he was moved to the other side of the room and eventually into his own room at 8 months old. Whereas my dog sleeps in the kitchen! :rotfl:

I was simply trying to help, giving my opinion which i stand by.



Thank you!

I didn't mean to upset anybody, so I'm sorry if I did. I never viewed my needs as more important than DD's, and having her comfortable sleeping with us has made staying at other people's houses and in hotels etc a whole lot easier. I have never forced DD to do something because I wanted her to, but that's just our parenting approach. I think we westerners try to make our babies independent too soon.

If the OP does want the situation to change then perhaps she'll have to go down the route you suggested. But I wanted to let the OP know that it doesn't have to change if she doesn't want it to.

notanewuser

meritaten wrote: »

all the OP wants is to move her 16 month old from sleeping in her bed to his own. I really don't understand why people are being so nasty about this! its a natural progression! if people have a problem with co-sleeping then its THIER problem. the OP wants advice on moving her little one on. and if you haven't got advice and just want to belittle people - then can I respectfully suggest you move on elsewhere? you are not helping here.

I'm not belittling.

The OP DOESN'T explicitely say she wants her son to sleep independently and there's lots of suggestion that she's not thinking about it because its what she wants. So I was just making sure she knew that it was still okay if that's what works best for them.

On another thread where a mum is struggling with a 21 month old that can't sleep independently almost every poster suggested a return to cosleeping!!!! Talk about schizophrenic views!!!

peachyprice

notanewuser wrote: »

The OP DOESN'T explicitely say she wants her son to sleep independently and there's lots of suggestion that she's not thinking about it because its what she wants. So I was just making sure she knew that it was still okay if that's what works best for them.

Do you think she would have started a thread about how to get her eldest child to sleep in his own bed if that isn't what she wants?