Need advice :(

elantan

Mojisola wrote: »

If he said that he felt uncomfortable when you did this, would you continue - would him being embarrassed make it more fun for you?

If he was uncomfortable then I would deff stop

And yes it was fun for me but he wasn't really embarrassed at all we have that type of relationship that can't be explained on a random Internet forum it's better to be seen in real life ... Incidentally he does similar to myself and no I'm not really embarrassed either

We also have a high pitched squeaky convo with each other about the knights of the Forrest that go NI ( then we poke each other ) from the film the holy grail with Monty Python

baconandcabbage

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Hold your horses!

If this were a mum doing it to her child would you all be thinking it's sinister?

Mums say their teenage sons are good looking, handsome, sexy or whatever all the time on here... how is a dad saying a daughter looks sexy really different? Without the context, facial expression and tone of voice it is not that simple to rate it.

Mums hold their children down and tickle them - is that sinister?

Licking? Again, is there a history of meaning behind that? A shared family joke?

I just get really fed up with people jumping to conclusions... we don't know those involved and we don't know all of the context... let's not make any hasty judgments.

OP - If you are not comfortable with some of the things said or done then talk to your dad about it. If nothing changes then limit your contact.

It is how YOU feel that is important - not a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.

Any 'mother' that refers to her son as sexy is unhinged

baconandcabbage

Hmm my guess a troll

paulineb_2

I think calling a relative good looking or handsome is a bit different to referring to them as sexy. Even if its said about them and not to them directly.

GlynD

Seems it's fashionable to be a victim.

OP is 21 and old enough to make her own decisions. Why come on here with this odd story unless it's attention seeking?

Tiddlywinks

baconandcabbage wrote: »

Any 'mother' that refers to her son as sexy is unhinged

The village mob went that-a-way

---

> run and you might catch them.

Don't forget the burning torch and pitchfork!

RobotsinDisguse

i think OP might be a troll

I also think calling a 12 year old 'sexy' is just plain wrong, and does hint at 'grooming'.

And that's why elantan's jokes with her son is different. If he's old enough to have a girlfriend i assume he's older than 12.. (i'd hope a lot older but you never know these days!), in which case it is (from what she's said) a MUTUAL family joke, not something sinister.

elantan

My son is 22.5 years old ... A very handsome and sexy young man ... Certainly not the type of person I go for ( I like my men much older) but I can appreciated a good looking male or female when I see one ... Just because I can appreciate one doesn't mean to say that I want to sleep with them

Families are all different, what's right for one isn't right for another ... But no child ( or parent) should ever fear being abused

What one family can see as a joke .. Ie me sitting my son on my lap and singing with him and him going mum mum mum and then joining in and laughing cause it takes him back to when he was a child and most of what we did was laugh and play

Well another family may think that that is wrong ... And it may be wrong for that family but it's right for mine ... For another family they may not carry on but may choose to be very serious all the time ... For my family that wouldn't work ... We do serious often, we can be found debating many many different subjects and almost always disagreeing ... But respecting and loving each other to not fall out or upset each other

My sons gf's family for example never discuss politics religion or abortion ...she was shocked when she first met us as we have no conversation that is barred ... Everything can be discussed... The unwritten rules however are we all respect each other give each other their place an see things from their perspective ... We also never fall out about a difference of opinion

I very lucky that I have a family life that works for us... Others may find our family life a bit strange ... But out of all our sons friends we are the family they have all stated many times that they want into ... And often come around just to chat and get our perspective on things ... So we can't be doing too badly

MrsE_2

GlynD wrote: »

Seems it's fashionable to be a victim.

OP is 21 and old enough to make her own decisions. Why come on here with this odd story unless it's attention seeking?

What a foul post.
The marriage, relationship & family board is where people post these sorts of issues. I suggest you don't say anything if you don't have anything constructive to say.

MrsE_2

OP - have you had any of this type of behavior by any other adults when you were a child? Because that could make you hyper sensitive.

But regardless, if it feels wrong, it probably is.

You could say it to him, if he apologises & behaves appropriately in future then maybe he really didnt realise.
If he refuses to accept its wrong or says its you, then perhaps its best you dont see him.

Did your mum not ask why you stopped seeing him when you were 13?