Need advice :(

paulineb_2

Artytarty wrote: »

Is the OP female ?

Im assuming so from comments made in the opening post, but Im sure if they come back to the thread they will confirm this or not as the case may be.

monty-doggy

I don't think the op will be back.

paulineb_2

monty-doggy wrote: »

I don't think the op will be back.

Not suggesting its yet another Im bored thread?

monty-doggy

I seriously hope not, but something tells me it probably is.

And if it's not, I'm truly sorry, but a random post on here isn't what the op would need, they should be talking to the police or someone professional.

marisco_2

I would have been horrified if as a young girl my dad had held me down and tried to lick me, told me I was sexy or asked if I would marry him one day. None of those things are appropriate interaction between a man and his daughter. Did you lose contact with your dad OP or was contact stopped because other adults were concerned about his approaches and conduct toward you? Do your family know you are back in contact? Not that you need anyone's permission of course, but they may be able to offer wise perspective as to whether it is a good idea or not.

I also question the bond you can have with a man that you have started seeing again, when you never previously bonded with him or felt safe in his company. Your relationship with him seems to confuse and concern you, rather than being one where you feel relaxed and happy, for very valid reasons.

His behaviours are at the very least odd. I love my dad dearly but if he ever touched me in the way you have described he would not know what had hit him. You are a woman now not a little girl. If you decide to keep seeing him then set very defined boundaries as to what you find acceptable for him to say and do, and if he crosses that line address it with him immediately.

meritaten

it isn't innocent hun. it isn't exactly illegal, but it raises warning flags. you say you lost contact at age 13? did your mum leave him? get you out of his reach? because to my mind it sounds like he was 'grooming' you.

Sapiens

Thanks for the replies. I cut off contact myself because of his behavior and he would criticize me constantly. I really enjoy being with him but it's just these little things he does that creeps me out.

paulineb_2

You really enjoy being with him?

Little things? It really doesn't sound like little things.

Either you put up with it, stop seeing him or challenge the behaviour.

You have choices.

paye

That is creepy, I'M a farther to a lovely 3 year old, i kiss her like all dads do on the cheeks, tickle her, play fight , but i will never in a million years call her sexy or put my hand down her back. Sorry to say but I think you need to talk to someone about this. There is a limit to everything. Talk to your mum about it.

elantan

See like tiddlywinks I can honestly say that I do call my son sexy ... He is ... I certainly don't in any way shape or form fancy him even slightly ... Yuck at the thought ... But we do carry on fighting and have done since he was a kid ... I would land on top of him and pin him down and kiss him or tickle him and he did the same to me

I still sometimes grab him and sit him in my knee and sing the song I sang to him as a child and we both laugh ( although he does get embarrassed of his gf is there ... But that's just more fun for me )

I wouldn't playfully slap his bum or anything as I've never done that but just the other day he arrived at the door and his flies were undone an I said " son your peeping out yer trousers ... Are you trying to get your dad jealous ?" To which he replied " ma dad wishes he was as big as me"

For us it's all done in humour but we all know it's done in humour and if anyone of us felt uncomfortable it would stop straight away

Maybe say to your dad "look that makes me uncomfortable stop it" if he doesn't then maybe you need to relook at your relationship

You say you felt he was watching you whilst you were in the bathroom ... How exactly ? Is it just a feeling? Or is there some basis to this ?

Parent child relationships have many different aspects to them all of which should be nurturing though and never should you feel uncomfortable with your parent ... Unless of course they sit you on their knee and start singing the nursery rhyme they sang to you when you were a kid ... Or maybe that's just us