Help with access

Lone_Northern_Lass

Lieja wrote: »

the fact that he had convictions etc has no real relevance on his ability to parent.

As a children's social worker, whenever I find out anything about a parent (that they use drugs, are a swinger, are atheist / Buddhist / Christian, believe the world is about to be taken over by aliens, whatever) - the most important question is always: how does this affect the well-being of the children?

So, when we do police checks on parents, there are two broad categories into which the results fall:

1) Miscellaneous - petty theft, fraud, parking tickets - do they significantly affect the children's day-to-day welfare? - probably not.

2) Relevant convictions. Violent offences (and drugs offences) are relevant convictions. If a person has been convicted of committing a violent offence, then I'm starting to wonder about questions like do they see violence as an acceptable way to resolve difficulties, what social skills are they modelling to their children, would they use violence against their partner or children, and so on. Given that Strawberry2014 has described her son suffering violence from her ex-husband, I think the fact he has a conviction and another pending prosecution for violent offences is entirely relevant.

shegirl

Strawberry2014 wrote: »

Yes, I would say I am an incredibly insecure person. I struggle with depression and self doubt. I don't think I'm worth very much and feel like everyone is better than I am. I forgive too easy and accept whatever excuses people would say. I don't hold grudges and I struggle to see the bad in people. I wish I could but I can't. My husband initially left me for another woman, and I gave her children Christmas presents the year he left because I thought well she's good to my children. I also invited his girlfriend to our family home because I thought well she's with my children, there's nothing I can do about it, so I'd rather good blood than bad blood between me and the woman my husband left me for.

Don't get me wrong....I'm no angel.....I can curse and swear like the best of us....but it never lasts very long.....my conscience gets the better of me, and I'm always the first to say sorry.

In fact, my ex husband had 3 affairs since I've met him (one when we were married who he left me for) and two of the women are my facebook friends now. I actually speak to one of them regularly.

I am self critical, always blame myself, insecure and weak.

Ok,if I'm out of line here,tell me.

You seem very low on yourself and eager to please.

Are you being the way you are and not doing anything about his actions because you don't want him to hate you?

kelpie35

I am sorry that you feel the way you do about yourself. Only you can change that.

You have still not answered my question............ does your children want to spend time with their dad?