MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 3

*Nutella*

The tantrums have eased off a bit here recently (touch wood!), but when we do get them, they're really hard work The worst we've ever had was two weeks ago, heading home from the swimming pool. She point blank refused to put her helmet on, so I wouldn't let her use her scooter. She then proceeded to just sit down on the pavement, refusing to move. I picked her up and started carrying her, at which point she went into full meltdown. I suggested we get the bus, which she refused, so she eventually agreed to put her helmet on so we could get going on the scooter. Two minutes later she was screaming her head off because she wanted to get the bus and didn't want the scooter!

I find it particularly confusing when she changes her mind - e.g. I ask her if she wants cheese or yoghurt, she says yoghurt, I open the yoghurt and give it to her, and then she starts screaming because she doesn't want yoghurt, she wants cheese!

There are a couple of things I've discovered that sometimes help, but they're by no means foolproof. Firstly, giving her choices - e.g. 'do you want to wear this scarf or this scarf' rather than 'please put your scarf on'. Secondly, advance warning - making sure she always knows what's happening next so that nothing is sprung upon her as a surprise ('when you've finished your lunch, you need to go on the potty, and then we're going to put our coats on and go out and get the bus to the shop'). Thirdly, picking your battles. This is the one I find hardest, and hence the one I'm working on the most at the moment. Sometimes she'll insist on doing things that make no sense to me, but unless doing it is going to do some sort of damage to her/other people/the item she *needs* to take to bed with her (most recently she wanted to go to sleep cuddling her new shoes) or is going to teach her that a particular behaviour is OK when it really isn't if it becomes a habit, I try to let it go.

Oh, and like Saf and MrsH said, ignoring the screaming and walking away sometimes helps too - although it's truly terrifying just how far away she'll let me walk in public; I get nervous and give in long before she does, which, of course, she knows by now...

sunshine_1988

Thanks Nutella. I think we are fairly late to the tantrum party as we haven't had anything like this before really. Two today, one because I wouldn't let him put the sausages into our basket which were about 3% meat and I wanted the nicer ones. He was shouting in the middle of Tesco that he didn't like those ones because they had 'crusty bits' in. Secondly because I made him in his car seat rather than where he wanted to sit which was the passenger front seat. Two in one day wasn't too bad actually and the afternoon was really pleasant.

I am so hoping they will pass soon or I realise some technique which works with him. Yesterday he had one after we had been for coffee and I tried the old, bye then trick which backfired as he just sat on the floor and got a wet !!!!!

I'm glad others experienced it too though, makes it slightly more bearable to deal with!

I'll take on board your tips Nutella, thank you

X

*Nutella*

Sunshine, at the moment I try to avoid shopping with LO, unless it's a very quick milk & bread type-shop, as it's a sure-fire tantrum inducer here. I do top-ups in my lunch break and everything else is ordered online and delivered... Although in our case, this is partly also because LO for some bizarre reason developed an interest in the grubby Sainsbury's toilets and asked to go there at least three times during every shopping trip! When you have a recently potty trained toddler you do have to take them seriously when they say they need to go, even if you're absolutely convinced they don't need to, but it meant that quick shopping trips ended up taking forever

Gillyx

I'm with Nutella, we just don't take A shopping anymore, unless I'm forced into it. I used to love a good browse around the shops but no chance now. I also have a serial toilet visitor. He LOVES washing his hands and the hand dryers. If we do need to go I take a suitcase of snacks and put him in the trolley.

*Nutella*

Gillyx wrote: »

I'm with Nutella, we just don't take A shopping anymore, unless I'm forced into it. I used to love a good browse around the shops but no chance now. I also have a serial toilet visitor. He LOVES washing his hands and the hand dryers. If we do need to go I take a suitcase of snacks and put him in the trolley.

:rotfl: at the suitcase of snacks! I agree with sitting in the trolley - it's the only way to go.

She's terrified of hand dryers though - she'll go and stand as far away from it as physically possible and stare at it as if it's going to hurt her. Meanwhile, she starts giggling every time I get my hair dryer out...

Gillyx

What can I say he's definitely my son. If he's eating he's happy. Last week in Costco he had a mini croissant, a packet of pineapple bear yo yos, a pear, a tangerine, a cereal bar and some crisps. Then was yelling his head off at the checkout because he wanted a hedgehog (a hot dog :rotfl: ) but at least he cooperated with sitting nicely in the trolley.

*Nutella*

Gillyx wrote: »

he wanted a hedgehog (a hot dog :rotfl: )

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

sunshine_1988

I don't take him for the full week shop. But today I had no choice, we needed some bits and OH was at work till late. Unfortunately, with his work pattern at the moment A is stuck with coming along to do the chores. I try my best to get bits and pieces we during my lunch break at work but today was a necessity....plus he asked to go initially haha!

To be fair, he doesn't mind looking in the shops. Although I never brave a look around clothes for me etc, but usually he is happy enough picking up what we need and putting it in the basket.

I hear ya re the snacks though. We went to ikea a few weeks back. My handbag was stuffed to the brim with snacks, and we got through most of them too! Hence one reason why he doesn't come along to the weekly shop as I know he would ask for every thing!

dizziblonde

I currently have both ends of the tantrums - I've got the almost-threenager ones from big miss - which generally I can deal with fine as she's got very good language and understands "If you do X, Y is going to happen" pretty well and it only takes the odd follow-through with consequences when she pushes it for that to be OK... still wearing though.

Little Miss is hitting the 20 month mark and is a freaking nightmare at the moment with just giggly naughtiness as she hasn't really got that understanding yet and just thinks life's a great big giggle... and if you stop her from doing what she wants to do (which usually involves trying to injure herself) we get one helluva strop... and it's absolutely tearful wailing of a strop which gets to me so much more than screechy tantrums do! I seem to recall this being quite a grim age last time around as well though and her language is coming on at a fantastic pace so hopefully it'll be over with sooner rather than later.

*Nutella*

This evening, we were reading a Peppa Pig book in which Peppa says 'I'm first! I'm a big girl!'. LO's immediate response: 'You're not a girl! You're a pig! :rotfl: