Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

beanielou

Think tis in the air.
Sigh.

Wol2

Me too gals - I had such plans - yet an extremely unproductive day!
Hugs
xxxx

Sun_Addict

Pond pumps are rubbish - lost count of how many we've got through.

Buffythedebtslayer

So contact with the ex has to stop.


At first I thought he might like me but the reality is - from today's conversation is that he just felt guilty and wanted to see if I was ok. I had thought this before knowing as I do him and that he doesn't know what he wants but that he hates the thought of upsetting someone. He didn't say much just small talk but now I have spoken to him regularly for a few days he hasn't repeated the request to go for dinner.


Ultimately as far as blokes go I have never thought they were any good and I am a self fulfilling prophecy = as in I choose awful men to date. He is an example of this. I was happy now I am not.


my real challenge is to find something to make my life meaningful. and it is a real challenge.


Today I have been ill again. I got up early but was so tired, and er unwell shall we say to be polite! Missed my friends little girl's party. Feel guilty but must say as well as needing the loo all day I am not in the headspace to be surrounded by people who have children.


Whilst sitting and rocking or being asleep! I have considered the following crazy plans


1. buy a garage and rent it out (decided there was no money in it)


2. buy a house up north to rent out. would be a nightmare to manage but might be a manageable thing if I could save and borrow the full amount - 45000 (!) this has been something I have wanted to do for a long time. investment property.


3. join a gym - 42.98 a month but doubt I would go really.


4. Read a book about 10 years younger. hmmmm.


5. Family stuff - we need money. NO I need money. to move out. after what happened this week I am aware what I am doing by staying here is stupid.


6. The dissertation. big stress.


I just feel like I am going nuts for no particular reason.


Can I go to bed now please?

please-let-me-be-lucky

Yes you can go to bed! Hopefully everything will seem brighter in the morning Xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Well I got up early and cleaned the fish tanks out. well 2/3. the pond fish are alive and the part I need is coming tomorrow.


I am still very depressed. But am working through the list of things to do.


1. Guinea pigs
2. Hamster and Gerbil
3. Sainsbury's
4. Visit my friend
5. Hoover upstairs
6. put up desk
7. dump blanket in shed
8. Plus other stuff in the shed.
9. put clothes away.
10. Prep for work.


Today there seems little point to any of it but I know of old that this feeling will go and it goes if I go to bed or if I get on with stuff.


so today I choose to get on with it.


XX

Buffythedebtslayer

Paid my spends CC and the ever reliable Tesco's card! Whilst watching Murder She Wrote...........


I took the money out of my savings but will pay them back when I get paid.


It means less payments to the BC card. which stands at £3950 - £79 min payment


July will be a very skint month due to June having two big Birthdays and me spending money I don't technically have.


may return some stuff and use it as petrol money.


XXx

lulabelle

Hey Buffy. We sound like we are in a similar position right now. I love murder she wrote - how they made so many is beyond me

I think you should check out the website baggage reclaim if you have time. I spent a lot of yesterday reading articles on there. Helps to know that a) you are not alone and b) most of it is common sense stuff you know already but helps to see it in black and white

Chin up - if you want to PM me please do - we sound very similar as I am also thinking of ways I could change my life - thinking of leaving the godforsaken rock I live on and having a compete career change but that in itself scares me!

X

PeppaPigSausage

Ahem.


"The hardest thing in this world is just to live in it."


I reckon what you need right now is a challenge - something to do, aim for, work on. Whether that's writing a book, running a marathon or volunteering. (Guess which one I'm currently doing?:rotfl:)


I confess I'm more of a Diagnosis Murder girl. Got me through many a miserable day.


Congrats on the job - the whole payscale thing is getting me down to. They're playing silly beggars at my school currently with the whole thing too. Are you primary or secondary? Honestly I love the kids but the politics behind it is driving me to the edge.


Peppa

Pooky

When does the dissertation need to be finished by and have you started it?

Remember ex's are ex's for a reason - nothing good will ever come of it....time to move on and take a stress factor out of your life.

Gym membership - nah - you won't use it, if you want to get fit then get out and walk/run/jog/skip/limbo/rollerblade.

Buying a house up north, more hassle than it's worth unless you've got a big savings account behind you - I follow several threads on the MFW boards where people have investment houses/flats and no end of them have problems collecting rent/repair bills....it would be another stress factor you can avoid.

With house prices being cheaper up there would it not be more wise for you to look at moving up that way yourself? Is it something you'd consider?

Oh and hurry up and get your decorating done so I can send you something lovely