Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy

Hope your mum is ok. Is it her heart condition that makes her like that?

I must confess I have never watched Game of Thrones - feel I'm missing out - am I? I don't watch that much TV and often wish I could get "into" something.

Hope you feel better soon.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Happy Easter Buffy! Hope you feel better today Xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Hi Buffy

Hope your mum is ok. Is it her heart condition that makes her like that?

I must confess I have never watched Game of Thrones - feel I'm missing out - am I? I don't watch that much TV and often wish I could get "into" something.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks SA, it is a combination of her age, her illness and her absolute unwillingness to do things in an easy way. I love her but that is what we argue over. For example yesterday again she did ALL the ironing all at once. Now really it is my ironing -as I said before I didn't iron whilst she was away. I can't physically lock my washing away so she irons it. Drives me nuts as I feel really guilty about how tired it makes her. Also her friend phoned and she took the call upstairs so was standing up. Instead of changing phones and sitting down here she stayed upstairs for an hour standing up. Now she blames me cos the gps are in the spare room atm in the way of the chair but we have four phones in this house! 2 are cordless! I have a joke with her sometimes when she does things and say to her are you sure you are suffering enough? and she laughs. Same thing when my sis and her bf come and help with the garden Mum ends up doing real heavy labour and it wears her out! Sis tries then only to start little jobs that won't wear her out but then she eithers starts some thing big on her own or does loads. This leads to her being exhausted. You know that horrible on the train tiredness when your head drops and you don't know where you are? that's when she leaves the cooker on or the back open door or whatever. or is in the most awful mood cos she is tired and can't remember things.


I think it is showing that I have had two weeks at home with her! I love her so much and don't want her to be tired and worn out. I know she is getting old and wish she would slow down or at least be consistent. (once she has a knackering day she spends the next day doing v little but that makes her feel guilty) She is the definition of stubborn.


Phew. feel better now!


Actually as far as the cold thing goes, I feel rough. took cough medicine last night, instantly made me throw up! really horrible experience! I did sleep ok - vicks on soles of your feet - definitely helps!! However the symptoms have normalised and I am not so worried. I think it has lasted a long time cos I suppressed it at work with tablets and drinks and it had to come out some time.


In really good news I did write my CV and was quite pleased with it in the end. Looking for jobs tho....well I found a job right near my old boyfriend and you know when you wonder...if I had moved in with him it would have been near his kids. In a parallel universe it all would have worked out. :rotfl:I know that sounds nuts but I know what I mean! I still have happy memories of him. It hurt so much in the end and I understand it was for the best, he wasn't perfect in fact in the end quite horrible.


Any how moving on.


I keep looking at my CV to check it really is finished and is that good! I really did that stuff!


Today. oh today. Who knows what it brings.


Happy Easter everyone XXXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

Today hasn't brought much so far. I had a shower and needed to sit down!


Had a bacon sandwich. couldn't taste it.


Am debating. Sis is coming over at 2.


Not much time and lots of tidying to do. Guess I should get on. More vicks on feet! hopefully that will make me speedy!


XX

beanielou

Happy Sunday Buffs.
Going to a friends for lunch.
Champange

Buffythedebtslayer

Visitors have gone home. dinner was lovely and I have LOTS of chocolate.
Mum is tired. I am tired. Cough is really getting on my tits. grrrr.


I manage to move the furniture round in my room this morning. I can finally see where this is headed. You know when you measure stuff and picture it and then you sort of go. Yeah ok. Well now I have seen it I can see how when it is painted it will work out. I can stand at my window. I like that.


the consumerism that has dominated my life over the last 10 years must stop tho. There are so many better things to spend my money on. I have been buying things like I have no debt or ambitions. Looking for an answer.


I stood this morning and watched the birds in my garden. I thought about all the things I own, all the projects I have started or bought and not started. The things I want, for example a house, my health, these and other things are right here in my grasp.


Spending money does not make me happy. I just have "stuff" everywhere. . My family and friends make me happy. My pets make me happy


I think because I have in some ways been very sensible with my debt, overpaying, putting on 0% etc I feel almost as tho it doesn't count. I was reading a post the other day, someone sat and worked out the interest on a debt and what would be saved by paying it off early. I have never done that! Never thought about it really. Just paid it off. always managed. Struggled. but done it.


Can't stop coughing! got to go XXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Happy Sunday Buffs.
Going to a friends for lunch.
Champange

that is the way forward Beanie! XX

Sun_Addict

Looks like Beanie had a good day planned! Good on her!

Saw something the other day a famous person (can't remember who) said - she said she would rather spend money on experiences than things. Very wise really.

Hope your Easter has been good.

in_need_of_direction

And experiences don't need regular cleaning.

Buffythedebtslayer

I wrote a post this morning and totally forgot to send it!


In short am really fed up. have coughed so much I feel sick and am so anxious about tomorrow. I don't want to teach any more. Can't believe I have had two weeks off and done sod all for work!


anyhow right now am waiting for my dinner to go down AKA procrastinating.


I know I know I should go do something now. I know but once I look the amount will be huge and I can just feel myself getting sucked back in to all.


Plus - and this is proper mean I warn you. A girl I used to work with has just got or at least made public her boyfriend. And he is gorgeous. I mean, English actor gorgeous. The kind of guy you see but never speak to and I am so sick of it. I am sick of being like this. really. The fat one, the stupid one, the one with a migraine or now apparently a life long companion of a cough.

I really feel like swearing my head off!


I am aware much of these feelings are due to work starting tomorrow and the accompanying hell. As I said above although my new place is much much better I realise that full time long term this is NOT for me. This life is not for me.


Ok. feel better for saying that out loud. Even if it is more or less to strangers.