Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

I went for my nap at 3.20.


Woke up at 7pm


Whole afternoon gone


Friends are very !!!!ed off that I am not coming out tonight. I feel all weird and vulnerable. Mainly because I told my best friend I thought the depression was back and although she did answer my text she didn't mention it. She just said we would get together and chat. Which is good and were I feeling less like a nutter I would be happy with it.


I am so tired. and disappointed. and no book or clich!d saying is going to snap out of it. That in itself is scary. I used to listen to audio books on positive thinking and achieving goals etc and last night I started to play one and I could not stand it.


I really do wonder if it is lack of light. or fresh air. not walking the dogs atm (one had op he is ok but not able to walk properly) or is that new job is like old old job too much and this my default setting in that situation.


need food xx

beanielou

Keep plodding Buffy xxx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope you've eaten and feel better for it. Good that you've admitted how you feel to your friend, I hope you get that chat with her soon Xx

mothernerd

What beanilou said. Also eat,sleep, breathe. Not wasted an afternoon if your body needed the sleep. Good point on the walking, getting out in the light especially as it is now in short supply, is good for you. Go for a walk anyway.

patanne

Do you think that because it has been such a long summer we have got even more used to the sun and so the lack of it is bothering us even more than it normally does? I know I normally close my curtains as late as I can, but this last week I have actually closed them before it has gone really dark because it has seemed SO gloomy I didn't want to look at it.

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy, hope you feel better soon. Although I don't suffer from depression I do get times when I feel "flat". Just lately I seem to feel like this all the time. I can't seem to "get my mojo back". Or maybe this is depression in a way, I don't know.

Pooky

Buffs - get yourself a SAD lamp for your desk and use it whilst you're marking - should help make that job a bit easier.

lulabelle

Big hug bufster. I'm feeling a bit the same right now. Feel like not really living, just plodding by passing the days. What we do about that I'm not quite sure but...don't you have half term coming up? Can you get a change of scenery? X

Buffythedebtslayer

Right, so today I forced myself out of bed early and outside into the garden, where I weeded, tidied the fish and eventually repotted some nearly dead house plants.


I had lunch and then napped, woke up, forced myself to clean out the piggies and hamster and hovered, changed my sheets.


the sunshine was lovely being outside was lovely. I am 90% sure it is SAD.


And Pooky, you will kill me but I have one, just never figured out where to put it. I used to have a sunshine light bulb(which I got cos I couldn't yet up the lamp) but that went a few weeks ago and I do wonder if the two are connected.


I have reordered the bulb!


Now have some work to do.


thank you all so much for your kind words. My real life friends aren't unkind as such but aren't as understanding. I think it is because here I am more honest, there it comes from no where.


oh well XXX

Sun_Addict

Can understand why you can reveal more on here than to RL friends. You can reveal all on here so to speak whereas RL friends might be shocked. I would never "reveal all" to RL folks. You can be more open here and we will understand. Just like a proper diary really (shut up SA you are rambling).