Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! Part 4!!

Part_Mouse

lilmissreading wrote: »

Low as in in low in mood?

Ps are you still lurking on +12 months TTC thread. There's some news?

Sorry for the late reply, yep low as in low mood. Feeling very tearful and numb/anxious.Back for another scan tommorow, praying all is well and I get to see something this time.

I do still lurk, were you talking about jammy getting her bfp?:j

teaandcakeordeath

PM. Your hormones will be all over the show so that can explain the low mood. You should really fight to be seen by your GP though as you need extra support coming off your meds whilst in this hormonal fug! Is there a reason you're stopping the meds?

I've felt anxious for the entire duration so far! I think it's parr for the course- as soon as we got the bfp we'd been trying for for so long for I became a mum in my mind, oh is the same- he's constantly fretting! I doubt the anxieties will go away when baby arrives- they'll just be different.

lilmissreading

Part_Mouse wrote: »

Sorry for the late reply, yep low as in low mood. Feeling very tearful and numb/anxious.Back for another scan tommorow, praying all is well and I get to see something this time.

I do still lurk, were you talking about jammy getting her bfp?:j

I was! let's hope that means there is another run of luck on that thread.

No need to apologise. The joy of online forums is you engage with them when you want.

I only had two scans and was my most anxious before both.

I also echo tcod's advice. The journey of becoming a mum is worrying and that will never go away - during pregnancy, brith, baby, child, teenager, adulthood. Just different worries at different times.

What's different for you I imagine is being depressed before means this might hit you harder. I also wonder if having a long and stressful journey to pg can mean that people think the worst bit is the conceiving when actually pg (particularly early) is no walk in the park either. Some people feel guilty for not appreciating every miserable moment and that they should be more grateful. I would say you are only human.

If you can, google the NICE 2007 antenatal and postnatal mental health guidance - quick reference guide. Please speak to your GP or google IAPT in your area to see if they accept self referrals. I work in the NHS and my male patient who lives with his partner and 10 month son is going to be fast racked for psychological hlp for himself because he lives with an under year old. They really should or will listen to you now that you are pg. If the first GP doesn't listen, the next should or your mw will likely know. You do not have to do this alone. And of course we are all here too. :grouphug:

With regards to my mood, I wouldn't say I was depressed from week 4 until week 15/16 but I was definitely sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had lots of depression style behaviours including:

uninterested/no pleasure in my usual activities
spending a lot of time in bed
comfort eating/not eating
tearful
mood swings
sleeping more than usual
less socialising
more irritable
feeling helpless

I didn't put this down to depression as I felt a lot of this was feeling nauseous, early pg fatigue and hormones. I therefore hoped that this would lift as these symtpoms improved and it has. It has also been amazinginly helpful of course to get further on the in the pg and not have to rely on scans alone. Kicks and wiggles mean the world, as does my bump as I can now really believe it's happening to me (us).

Part_Mouse

Tcod

My gp has never really been part of my mh care, She gives 6 months of AD that I collect ever month and thats as far as it goes. she didnt even see me when I thought I had a water infection, they just speak over the phone with you then go from there, she called a few days later to say I do have an infection after telling me I didnt and the hosp telling me I did. It leaves you with not a lot of confidence when it takes almost a week to get some anti biotyics for a water infection.

Im coming off my meds as the ones iv'e spent much of my life on arn't good for pg women and the ones that are considered safer haven't done much for me.

Part_Mouse

lilmiss Yes I would say my long history of depression has made me more vulnerable in pregnancy.I never thought I would get my bfp and tbh my low mood has hit me like a ton of bricks.Its awful really as I know how lucky I am to be pg and feel awful that im not 'happy' I am ofcourse happy to be pg but have this constant black cloud hanging over me. My husband doesn't understand either he said god a month ago things were looking far from good for being pg and now its happened Im more tearful/low than before which in turn makes me feel guilty for moaning.He said I should just be happy which ofcourse I would do if I could.

Im still quite a way from seeing my mw, im still waitng to see my gp to be refered. My fertility clinic arn't providing much help so its just down the the epau to make sure my pg is ok.

Thanks for the info aswell,Im going to have a look now.

purcy81

delurking to send hugs PM x The first trimester is such a scary time as nothing feels like its "real". Although quite clearly you're pg you have nothing really to show for it apart from crazy hormones, tiredness and nausea. Once you get a bit further along and actually see a little HB and then when you start to feel them wiggling it starts to get easier x

The first trimester sucks is what I'm saying really, and don't feeling bad for acknowledging that because its the honest truth. Hope your scan goes well for you tomorrow hun x

Hugs for your doctor being carp as well.

Part_Mouse

Purcy Thanks. Im ment to be going food shopping soon and all I want to do is go back to bed and cry, iv'e got no desire to do pretty much anything. Im dreading have to have even more medical help in the next 8 ish months as the care iv'e had hasn't been very good to say the least.

teaandcakeordeath

PM. I don't know what trust/pct/ccg you fall under but you should be able to self refer. Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions- I just thought ttc was the ridiculously difficult bit but turns out I haven't really enjoyed pregnancy at all!

I'd say that a strong GP team, MW and MH team would be essential for your health during your pregnancy. If you can't move practice then please self refer yourself to your local MH team. No matter what AD you're on it's best practice for a GP to review you rather than print off another px without seeing you! As hard as it is right now if you don't make moves to push for the support you need you'll be on your own healthcare wise until you get to book in with your MW as that's the first time that anyone really asks you about how you are and then you're waiting for whatever support they can give/ get you. Start the ball rolling please! For your sake.

Btw- tell oh to b*gger off! It's a massive leap mentally from 'infertile and desperate' (not to put words into your mouth- that was me! ) to f*ck I'm pregnant!

lilmissreading

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

PM. I don't know what trust/pct/ccg you fall under (I think you're somewhere in that there london?) but you should be able to self refer. Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions- I just thought ttc was the ridiculously difficult bit but turns out I haven't really enjoyed pregnancy at all!

I'd say that a strong GP team, MW and MH team would be essential for your health during your pregnancy. If you can't move practice then please self refer yourself to your local MH team. No matter what AD you're on it's best practice for a GP to review you rather than print off another px without seeing you! As hard as it is right now if you don't make moves to push for the support you need you'll be on your own healthcare wise until you get to book in with your MW as that's the first time that anyone really asks you about how you are and then you're waiting for whatever support they can give/ get you. Start the ball rolling please! For your sake.

Btw- tell oh to b*gger off! It's a massive leap mentally from 'infertile and desperate' (not to put words into your mouth- that was me! ) to f*ck I'm pregnant!

What she said! There is help out there, you are entitled to it and remember when you go to ask, this is not about you only but little one too. I say that because it is hard to be motivated and think you are worth the effort when you are depressed but this might help you feel able to do this. The challenge will get getting the system moving. If you wanted me to help you research what's in your area pm me with your borough/CCG and i can.

TCOD - thank god you said that about OH. Same kind of thoughts going through my mind. DH was pretty good but even so I don't think it was until our 12 week scan when he could see this was real that it really 'clicked' for him. Your OH PM (as with all of them) has NO idea what it is like to be pg - the hormones, the uncertainty and it sounds like he is one of those fortunate ones to have never been depressed so he can't understand that no-one chooses to feel like this.

Should statements/thoughts are unhelpful. I should have the house sorted by now. I should float through pg like it's nothing. I should be grateful. I should find this easy. I should pull myself together. Blah blah blah, meaningless and unhelpful.

I would like to feel happy but it's difficult due to the hormones and the worry, not to mention the depression. I am going to see what other options might be out there to help me and one thing that would help me from you now OH is a hug/cup of tea/the washing up done. I can't do pg on my own and i need you.

Or whatever words work for you of course. This is just an example! Once you find what works for you I think you are going to have to say it again and again....they don't get it first time....or 22nd

Mrs_T_M

Anyone have any recommendations on the anti slip tub stickers? I don't like the mats with the suction cups, once they mould, they get really icky! We rent, but I don't think our landlords will mind. I'm tired of taking quick baths now that I've gotten used to taking showers. I won't take a shower while pregnant wihout grips, since last time I slipped while in the shower when I was 6 weeks and had a fairly major bleed, which I think caused the blood clot that ultimately caused us to lose Dale.

Sorry for the ramble!