MSE Pregnancy Club 27

fran-o

Hi Mrs TM

I'm sure no one minds you posting here, and it's an incredibly kind and selfless offer you are suggesting with regards to donating milk.

I was going to suggest you chat it over with someone from your medical team - nurse, midwife or GP. I wasn't sure if you were thinking of actively expressing milk in order to donate? As I understand it, a woman's body continues to produce milk as long as there is demand for it, ie if you express milk, then your body will continue to produce it. When women want to wean baby they often cut down nursing slowly and their body adapts by producing less and less milk.

I am just thinking of you emotionally - if you donate by expressing and continue to produce milk for weeks to come, you might wish to consider how will this make you feel after losing your little one.

I'm really sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick but thought it was worth a mention.

With very best wishes x

SmlSave

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

Apologies for posting, I know I don't really belong in this thread at the moment, but I had a question that I'd like some opinions on.

Since we lost our little one at half term, my milk has definitely come in. I've decided to try and donate it to someone who can use it. I can't save it at the moment due to my anti depressant tablets, but I'll be discussing changing or weaning off of them with my GP soon. My question is this, how do you think you would feel giving someone else's milk to your baby?

Personally, as long as it's in a bottle, I see no more emotional attachment to it than I do formula. I just wanted some input from others. Again, I'm sorry if posting this upsets anyone, that is not my aim.

I think you are wonderful for thinking of donating your milk TM. I know several ladies who donate and a couple who even wet-nursed! If I'm any good at expressing I will certainly think about it myself.


Make sure that you feel up to it though, we want to know that you are looking after yourself.

But is that too much travelling for a 5 month old in the space of a couple of days. I heard that babies weren't supposed to stay for too long in the car seat?

No more than 2hrs in the car seat last time I checked squ1rrel5 because it can cause back problems I think. We've certainly never let DS stay in the car seat for any longer because there's a history of back problems in our family

Mrs_T_M

Fran-o, it's definitely worth a mention! One of the ways I handle grief and sorrow is by trying to help others. Just knowing that I could help another little one makes it worth it. Once I feel that I need to stop, I will gradually so that my body can adjust. I will make an effort to NOT meet the baby I end up donating to so that my emotions won't muddle the donating. I definitely miss my baby, but I also know that I am fairly young, we will be trying again, and helping another baby in his honour will hopefully help me grieve.

SmlSave

You truly are amazing TM

marywooyeah

BadlyWrittenPoem wrote: »

Just to reassure anyone with a back to back baby who is worrying, whilst obviously back to front is the optimum position, back to back doesn't neccessarily mean a bad/difficult/long labour. My second full term birth was back to back at the start of labour - it was a really lovely birth with no complications and took slightly less than four hours. And once I had gas and air had no pain whatsoever.

My son was back to back and I had him naturally, 7.45 hours from waters breaking to baby coming. Back to back doesn't have to equal a long drawn out hard labour so I would echo your words BWP x

Mrs TM I really don't know how you are such a strong selfless person but it's truly amazing to see and so admirable have you contacted your local hospital to see if they have a donation scheme at the neonatal unit? It's so wonderful that in the darkest time you only think of others, if only more people were like you xxxx

claire16c

Birdie85 wrote: »

Hugs Smartcat, it can only get better! Being tired does make you weepy though, I was crying at OH this morning because I didn't sleep and he huffed at me last night when I came back to bed after a wee!

Was watching The Wright Stuff this morning with OH and they were discussing how 1 in 10 men with pregnant partners apparently cheat on them! That's a massive number! :eek: OH was like 'God, what's wrong with people? Why can't the guys just have a w**k if they're feeling frisky?!' then when they were talking about how much women can change in pregnancy blah blah blah and OH just went 'Ooooh maybe I've got it lucky because you're just you with a baby in your belly!'

That is a terrible statistic! Me and DH havent bd since we made the baby because I was either throwing up, bleeding and were just getting to the point now where we are feeling ok to start it again, but he's said several times himself thats what his hand is for lol! Those guys clearly shouldnt get a woman pregnant if theyre not prepared for what might happen in pregnancy - or even more likely after the birth!

Mrs_T_M wrote: »

Apologies for posting, I know I don't really belong in this thread at the moment, but I had a question that I'd like some opinions on.

Since we lost our little one at half term, my milk has definitely come in. I've decided to try and donate it to someone who can use it. I can't save it at the moment due to my anti depressant tablets, but I'll be discussing changing or weaning off of them with my GP soon. My question is this, how do you think you would feel giving someone else's milk to your baby?

Personally, as long as it's in a bottle, I see no more emotional attachment to it than I do formula. I just wanted some input from others. Again, I'm sorry if posting this upsets anyone, that is not my aim.

If I had a premature baby and my milk wasnt enough or something because perhaps I was ill etc then Id be very glad of it.

sunshine81 wrote: »

Hello all!

What a day! We got there half an hour early and was seen straight away, the sonographer seemed a bit grumpy (but maybe that's just because I am comparing to the one at the 12 week one who was just amazingly friendly). She was silent for about 20 minutes doing all the measurements, then sent us for a walk telling us to return within 10 minutes. But then she kept us waiting another half hour before rescanning... baby still had not moved! She did another 10 minutes or so before saying we will have to come back, the measurements she did get were all 'fine' although didn't explain anything more than that, but still needed to look at the heart and placenta... so we have to go back on Valentines Day for another scan.

However, despite baby being rather lazy we did get the news that we are going to attempt to level out the numbers by being team blue! Although even that, she just said 'it looks like a boy' - now I know they can't say 'it's definitely a boy' she didn't smile or show me boy bits or anything on screen... in fact I never got to see the screen except for a quick look to confirm there were two arms two legs and a beating heart! OH got a better view from his chair, he apparently saw feet, face and all sorts! She even said 'I'd just leave pictures til next time it's not really clear today' which I didn't argue with... wish I had still got the one to mark the occasion.

But overall... happy times!

That is a terrible sonographer, Id be tempted to complain about them!

Our one was great - every measurement she took she told us that it was normal afterward and we could see the screen the whole time. She said at the start she would say if anything looked worrying and wouldnt leave us hanging. I was waiting on each and every measurement and she explained what everything was - I would have been terrified if someone had been silent for 20 minutes!!:eek:

claire16c

So tonight was our NCT breast feeding class. It was excellent. The lady was really helpful. She also said at the start 'formula is not a dirty word here you are allowed to say it! '

Everyone in the group is planning on breast feeding anyway but some of the stuff was about feeding regularity and skin to skin after birth etc so could relate to anyone. She also talked about expressing and said to wait until 6 weeks if youre going to combination feed or it could mess up the supply/demand thing. But if youre thinking of doing it so that your DH can feed so you can get a rest, be aware of the fact you will still be feeding the baby that day so trying to find time to express is going to be pretty difficult and so isn't really going to give you a rest at all - but with anything if you are determined then you may find a way.

The rest was about positions, the type of milk, how to recognise whats working and what isnt, time lines of breast feeding and babys development.

It was really informative and I feel even more confident about it now. She got the guys to do breast feeding positions which was hilarious! She did get out a knitted boob but it didn't feature too much lol!

She is also sending us information about who we can contact after the birth to help with breast feeding which I think will be great as all my friends seem to have had useless or bad info from midwives and health visitors and got the most help from nct or local groups.

It was also good for the guys to learn a lot more about it so they can be supportive. One guy always looks slightly scared and worried about his wife its really sweet, and he said he feels better now knowing how he can support her and realising what a job it is in itself - on top of the general care of the baby.

One point that was interesting was the teacher said that on about day 3 when your milk is likely to come in, you also have a crash of hormones/feel really weepy/ and the baby is starting to want a LOT of feeding, and so its all happening at once, and to be prepared for that/remember that that is totally normal. And for the hubbys to remember this if their wife is crying all day!

Oh and another thing was that if something happens early on, and you have to introduce formula for one reason or another for a while, there is nothing to say you cant still carry on with breast feeding too, either combination or swapping back, so dont get disheartened too early on if youre wanting to do it.

Eiteews

Welcome to team blue sunshine81 - about time! Sorry to hear you had a grumpy sonographer... We had a similar situation - super happy and friendly first scan and then second was a let down in comparison because the lady was grumpy and our picture was a bit crap. Hopefully the rescan will bring you better luck!

Enjoying hearing this info from classes - I'm in full information sponge mode now. Thanks to those sharing

Mrs_T_M you're an inspiration... Hope you manage to sort something out - it's very kind of you. Having suffered a miscarriage myself (a year ago today) I can empathise to Some degree. Take care of yourself x

Kynthia

Well I've managed to calm down at least, which is the advantage of getting fuming mad and shouting profanities as it gets it out of your system. :rofl: No update from the EA today, but I did call my solicitor who was surprised that contracts hadn't even been signed yet when their solicitor had been chasing him. He didn't think late February for completion was acceptable considering the focus was on late January so he's going to pressure their solicitor.


Faerie - I'm sorry to hear you are under stress too so close to your due date. As long as you've got electricity, heating, hot water and somewhere for the baby to sleep then everything doesn't need to be perfect at first. One of the really good things about this house is it's in move in condition, although I'm sure there's things I'll want/need to do.


Faithhope - I'm toying with the idea of threatening to knock £5k off as we paid a little more than I wanted and didn't renegotiate based on the survey findings all with the intention of completing late Jan. If that's not happening then why not?


Mysecretalias - I hope your purchase goes well. How far are along in the process are you?


Claire - I've been told that diamorphine and pethidine are sedatives rather than painkillers which is why most people I know who've had it in labour don't rate it. However my NCT teacher said that they're great for if you are exhausted and desperately need a sleep while in labour.


Sjlou - I'm glad you're enjoying your NCT class, we both really enjoyed ours.


Congratulations sunshine81!

becca0417

Claire we also had our NCT breast feeding session last night ( after the women's only session yesterday morning) & it was v similar to yours. Absolutely loved it!! The lady that ran it is the breast feeding counsellor in our area so was great to know who we would be talking to.

Kynthia I really hope you get a helpful response from the seller today. We had to threaten to pull out & actually booked another viewing before the estate agent rang them to tell them & miraculously the contracts were exchanged a week later!!