Not a LBM but awareness of heading towards debt crisis

themarsbargirl

So, long hiatus away. My mental health continued to spiral down (actually, reading this it's interesting to see that I had some awareness of spiralling as at the time I thought it had hit out of the blue). Anyway, let's call it a breakdown happened about a week after my last post, which led to 7 months off work sick, going back to work, having my reasonable adjustments removed due to an erronous OH report, my mental health dropping again and then being fired from my job due to sickness absence.

During all this time my debt has snowballed (up not down lol) partly spends to 'make me feel better' (chocolate, icecream, 3 months supply of tinned food, whatever I needed for the obsession of the month etc). I had felt okay about it, I have an inheritance coming to me sometime this year that would have cleared all my debt with enough left over for a deposit to buy a house.

Then I got fired.

Suddenly I realised that ESA will barely cover my minimum payments to my debt (budget is squeaky tight)
My dream of owning my own house is gone as I won't get a mortgage without a job and the money is going to be used to live on.

So I buckled down and concentrated. I've made an extra £80 to pay off debt by selling stuff since I lost my job 3 weeks ago, this is 4% of one of my debts. I'm doing surveys again (really hitting them hard) I checked topcashback and discovered I had a tiny amount in there that I had forgotton about, so withdrew it to paypal (getting all surveys and everything paid as paypal, when it reaches 1% I'll withdraw and pay towards my debt.)

I don't know where I'm going to go with everything.
I'd love to sell my jams and marmalades and chutneys to people (other than family and friends) but in my local authority you have to register as a food business to even do it as a one off.

My current aim is to clear the Capital One credit card before the inheritance comes through. I'm also thinking that with every extra payment I make to it, the minimum payment will come down a little bit which makes that budget slightly less squeaky!

themarsbargirl

So last night I rather impulsively applied to register as a food business. It's free to do so even if I fail my inspection and can't sell preserves to the public I've not lost anything by trying.
Had a bad day today, not managed to leave the house at all, despite having planned for Dad to take me up to the uni library to see how I cope and borrow some books to write my essay. I seem to be developing a pattern of being incredibly low and drowsy and demotivated in the morning, then picking up somewhat ib the afternoon and buzzing inthe evening.

Tomorrow I have an appt with a benefits advisor to help me fill in the application form for ESA then in the afternoon I'm meeting someof my now ex-work collegues to say goodbye.

Thinking about some realistic goals for April;
1) Track my NSD (jam bits from jam fund doesn't count)
2) Make an extra 2% paid off card

I may add to the list if I think of anything else, but I need to keep goals low energy and very attainable in my current state of mental illhealth.

themarsbargirl

pinch punch first day of the month!

Just want to hide under duvet today, trying to persuade myself out of bed with the promise of checking all my survey sites.. .

themarsbargirl

Not a nsd today as bought a few bits from my grocery budget and smoking budget today. I'm going to have to use the envelope with left over bits of change to fund some of the ingrediants I need to make quiches for Dad's birthday party.

The benefits advisor was amazing and has filled in and sent off the ESA application for me, we're not sure if I've made enough NI conts to get contribution based or if I'll get income based ESA. But it's a load off now it's done.

It was lovely saying goodbye to my class, they had done a little collection for me and raised £20 which is going towards bits and pieces to make jam and get set up for the environmental health inspection. And an adorable little cat tin!

I managed to get some books from uni so am hoping to make a start on doing research for my essay in the next few days, even if it's just a little at a time.

I've found being out of the house for so long today utterly exhausting! And I feel antsy because I didn't make any jam today, although I did sort stuff into storage boxes.

I think I've achieved a good amount today all in all.

themarsbargirl

Feeling very weary today, had quite a weepy day. I feel like the mental health services just don't know what to do with me at the moment and it's really hurting me seeing just how much of a strain caring for me is putting on my parents

Made a raspberry and pineapple jam today which turned out purple!

I have my sisters kids tomorrow night which may border on being too much until my Dad gets my brother from the airport to me. Just thinking about the marmalade U'll make once they are in bed.

Another small spends day for me, flour to make quiches, reduced desserts and a reduced bath gift set for a friends birthday present-it was only 75p more than the tuiny token present I had planned for her.

Just surviving one day at a time.

themarsbargirl

Feels like I had quite a spendy day although I spent less than a tenner in total.

Managed the kids ok, although I did have a drama with my neice when she couldn't ubnlock the bathroom door, fortunately she managed to open the tiny bathroom window and I could just manage to stick my arm in and slide the bolt back by standing on a stool outside. They didn't go to sleep until 10pm but did stay in their room...looking forward to tired grumpy kids tomorrow! But my sister has given me money o entertain them...although she also wants me to take them shopping for a birthday present for their grandad which could be fun! Have a feeling that I'll be taking all my meds tomorrow!

Wish me luck!

Tahlullah

Good luck!

themarsbargirl

Thanks Tahlullah! They woke up at 5am and were being very noisy so I brought them into my bed to keep them quiet until a decent time. Only had a couple of tantrums through the day and they chose their presents for grandad within 5 mins (amazing what the promise of swimming can do!)

The only money I spent today was the money my sister gave me to entertain the kids so I'm counting today as a NSD. My sister also told me to keep the change which has confused my poor addled brain as it doesn't have an envelope it belongs in. I'm thinking I may start an emergency/entertainment/present fund where unexpected money goes as there is no allowance in my budget for any of these.

Made a cherry and vanilla jam tonight as a present for a special friend.

Tomorrow I am turning into a quiche factory ready for Dad's 60th on monday and is pretty much guarenteed to be a NSD unless I walk 5 miles to the shops. I miss driving but I hace enough food in the house, although the lunch my brother is cooking vould be interesting!

themarsbargirl

Cooked all the quiches without incident yesterday. I had actually forgotton how quiche transformed 1-2 portions of food into 4-6 portions. May have to put quiche back on the menu but using milk instead of cream to make it even cheaper, esp as I'm not a big bread person!
My brotheer took me out to the pub next door for lunch instead of cooking. It was heaving but they found us a little table for 2. I had some lovely roast beef.
Dinner I cooked from stores, threw some rabbit and chicken pieces from the freezer into the slow cooker with some chicken stock and dried vegetables in the morning and by evening voila one deluicious stew!

Yesterday was a NSD which makes 2 NSD in April so far.

Oh I also made lime and mint bath bombs for my dad and brother2 for birthday presents. They'll appreciate the thought even if they never use them.

Today is party day for Dad's 60th and I'm putting up a display of my jams etc. Feeling kinda nervous.

themarsbargirl

The party went well, my quiches were eaten and complimented, as were the pickles and chutneys I'd put out with the cheese. Talked to 2 non-family people who have known me pretty much all my life. And I sold 9 jars of preserves! I think Mum was hoping I'd sell more than that so the jars would be out of her house but I'm very happy with that as it's £9 in my profit envelope which gets paid towards the capital one card every time I reach £20 and brings my ingrediants purse up to £17.70 (although I preserve because it is good for my mental health it has to fund itself because I don't have space in my budget to fund it)
Some pending credits finally cleared on one of my survey sites so have withdrawn that and emptied paypal of survey monies and once it all hits my bank account should be able to pay another % off the capital one card.

Mum has given me a cheque for expenses relating to helping sort my Grandad's house so am planning to leave that in my bank account as a buffer in case they take away my overfraft as that is my biggest financial fear right now.