Not a LBM but awareness of heading towards debt crisis

NotNormal

It's no fun is it? I'm currently not on medication and up until VERY recently I was coping fine. Now I can feel myself on a downward spiral. Turns out for my doctor to medicate me I have to wait 2 + weeks for them to get confirmation from previous team of what I was on. Then I have to make an appointment so they can decide if they can put me back on them or if they need me to go under the mental health team. Then if they say mental health team I have to wait to finally get to see someone which will take who knows how long!

I'm just about hanging in there right now, but I can feel myself slipping back into bad habits. I've become obsessive, unmotivated and keep really having to force myself to eat which isn't always successful.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, I know how frustrating it can be. Especially when they don't want to play around with the meds and find what will work for you. xx

themarsbargirl

NotNormal wrote: »

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, I know how frustrating it can be. Especially when they don't want to play around with the meds and find what will work for you. xx

The main issue with me is that I have had severe adverse reactions to every singe psychiatric medication they have put me on in the past, so it's not safe to try and mediate me as an outpatient.

I saw the Crisis Team last night, and they have upset me so much I am seriously considering putting in a formal complaint. Despite my psych telling them that we didn't want any intervention from them as the exaccerbate my issues the people that saw me were very aggressive and tried to bully me into starting meds as an outpatient with their support.
They eventually agreed to put me on a waiting list for a bed to start meds....but told me that it would only be for a local bed and they wouldn't put me in a private bed because I am a low priority as it is 'just' to start medication and they view me as low risk (I assume because my parents care for me 24/7). They appeared very confused as to why I needed 24/7 care.

TBH, it's a shambles. And I'm still so angry that had they done their job last year and hospitalised me or actually done what they promised to work with me in the community and got me medicated and stabilsed then I wouldn't have lost my job and be where I am now.

The only way to access support it appears is by harming yourself, but Dad's keeping me on a tight leash to stop that.

themarsbargirl

So having brought my scales over, I weighed myself this morning.

10st 9lb just so I remember. Despite feeling like I have lost weight, and my clothing being looser I've actually gained 1lb since Easter.

Knit_Witch

Sorry to hear you are going through the mill hun , a parcel sent out to you today though!

themarsbargirl

Knit_Witch wrote: »

Sorry to hear you are going through the mill hun , a parcel sent out to you today though!

:j:j:j:j:j

themarsbargirl

Up and down day today, went and volunteered in Foodbank for a couple hours then cried all the way home

But let's do a round up of the day;

Spends - none making it NSD8
Surveys - ummm...not been on this at all for the past few days, just not in the mood.
Steps (now I have a shiny new pedometer ) - 7007 (although 653 of those were done by royal mail, but as it didn't get here till lunchtime I'm saying that they are mine) which is 2.1km walked 284 extra calories burned and 16.8g of fat....so not even the chocolate I ate today :rotfl:
Sales - Didn't put the stall out as it was raining most of the day.
Garden - my gifted tomato plants have blight (which Dad spotted) so trying to keep on top of that, repotted 2 more courgette seedling which had come up, repotted my lettuce as I think it needed deeper soil, sowed more radishes (my ones I sowed 13 days ago are huge! hoping they'll be ready soon) and a couple of spring onion seedlings are poking up The basil plant I bought last week is growing absolutely huge and is almost begoming pot bound again already...planning on getting some tomatoes and mozzerella tomorrow and doing a salad.

With Mum away I've cooked for the past few nights and it's nice cooking the type of food I like. Going to walk into town with Dad tomorrow to go to the market and get some game for a casserole and a Game pie, and lots of fruit and veg. I've been serving fresh fruit and fruit salad for dessert. If I have a tub of fruit salad in the fridge ready prepared then I am more likely to pick at that than junk.

But overall, very tired, very lethargic and just bleurgh at the NHS. Still, it's all about getting by at the moment.

Knit_Witch

Sorry the foodbank upset you - but yay on the steps!

themarsbargirl

Knit_Witch wrote: »

Sorry the foodbank upset you - but yay on the steps!

Actually the foodbank didn't upset me (I like foodbank, I get to play with tins and line them up neatly and make sure they are date rotated, it pleases my OCD). But that's just how random my moods are at the moment.

I had the tomato, mozerrella and basil salad for lunch, have a venison stew started in my tiny slow cooker (doing the meat, then will add to veg and finish in the oven). Started making a Game Pie (like a pork pie but with game).

Me and Dad in town bought so much shopping both of our rucksacks were full! And Dad had to carry 2 carrier bags! Lots of fresh veg.

I wanted a swede for the stew but not on your nellie was I going to pay £1 for one :eek:

themarsbargirl

Busy busy busy day.

Walked into town and did shopping, done lots of cooking, just done the egg wash...20 minutes and my Game Pie will be cooked. It's a big'un so I reckon should last us a couple days at least.

My Venison stew was very nice, and I made a quick chappatti last minute to go with it for gravy mopping as I realised we didn't have any bread and I didn't have the time or oven space to make any.
Pudding was an experiment, that went slightly wrong, used up the left over hot water pastry to make a chocolate fudge pear tart....it was edible and yummy but not at all what I wanted it to be like lol.

Planted butternut squash today and another carton of lettuce (growing it in those plastic tubs that plums come in), potted up some of my tomato plants into bigger pots and did my first cull :-/

Round up of the important things;

Steps - 10718 which means a little man is doing a dance for me
Spends - a couple of quid for treats on the market which I really ought to get round to giving to Dad, not sure if he wants a contribution towards all the veg....BTW...Tesco have an offer on salad veg atm for all you peeps out there aiming to eat a bit better.
Sales - none, I appear to have saturated the market, but oh well, it's the craft fair next saturday.
Surveys - hadn't checked my emails in a few days but just caught a pinecone survey before it closed...phew...not been on pinecone long so very wary of missing theirs in case I get kicked off, esp as they tend to pay out about £3 a survey!

Last day of May tomorrow, so will be time to look at all my goals and see which I have reached....Already got some goals in mind for June.

themarsbargirl

Squee...my pie looks and smells amazing! Can't wait till tomorrow and eating it with homemade coleslaw!

My total spends today (just went and squared up with Dad) was £1.50....on some jelly belly beans and 2 packets of fabulous fingers...love my little market stall!