Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

trix-a-belle

*delurks*
what a tos5er! he has spoilt new year by being such a child and not understanding of your feelings, you are perfectly within your rights to want to be comfortable and be in your own home, I felt the same way on boxing day at my parents house.

I am in awe of your strength and ability to continue through all that life throws at you, keep going missus!!
Onwards and upwards in 2014!

Savvy_sewing

Down side of an early night is I am awake at 3.30am!
Yes it hurt that he has to get drunk, and text nasty stuff. But it is no surprise. No he doesn't normally drink a massive amount, but the nasty streak has been rearing its ugly head when he does, and it's always been lurking under the surface. Reverting to texting is his normal wall he hides behind.
I suppose he will calm down eventually. But it just shows me that the future is not living with him in happy ever after land and after nearly 10 years of trying to do what he wanted, trying to please etc This year I have subconsciously ended it all by the urge to come home to my own home.
Today I feel a bit "lucky Escape" although I feel sad that it has come down to this, I know that it's time to just put my BGK'S on and get on with the next stage of my life.
Exactly what that is I am not 100% sure.
But life is not a fairy tale, no prince is going to rescue me. I am just going to concentrate on working on my Sewing, and actually finding how to sell my things more successfully, so that we fill the £8,000 a year gap that's about to happen in my income.
I would have liked the dream of course, but I can dream other dreams after all.
I can wish for anything I suppose. The knack is deciding on what dreams are worth turning into goals and which will just stay a dream and are better off staying there. In dream land.
I have been dreaming about the huge bag of fabric samples I got last night, and how I am going to prepare them for the sofa covers for the local Youth fund raising. A good way to keep me occupied, and to start the year for charity. The practice, the work ethic, the designs will all help me with a way forward for my Sewing that hopefully will eventually be good for business.
Now I am going to try and get a bit more sleep, and when I am up again, drag this house back into some order and get ready for DGD's return home.
Onwards and Upwards!

MatyMoo

Wishing you and yours a Happy, Healthy and solvent New Year Mooloo.

So sorry that BF sent you the texts he did last night, but in a strange way I am glad it was texts so that you can re-read and see his true colours. The fact that he just doesn't get how upsetting his daughters snide comments are and does nothing to stop them would be enough to make me walk away Life really is too short.

Interested in the fabric samples and sofa covering. A friend has the most stunning chair that is covered in a large patchwork of materials, it is a real focal point of the room and I have chair envy. Wonder if you are doing something like that?

*Robin*

Mooloo wrote: »

Bf is drunk and told me I ruined new year and to go forth any multiply or go back to my ex?
Think my wanting my own home and bed just hurt him. Oh dear. Oh dear dear dear.

MatyMoo wrote:

So sorry that BF sent you the texts he did last night, but in a strange way I am glad it was texts so that you can re-read and see his true colours. The fact that he just doesn't get how upsetting his daughters snide comments are and does nothing to stop them would be enough to make me walk away Life really is too short.

Can't help thinking it is appropriate that BF chose last night to show his selfishness and immaturity.. Makes it easy for you to leave him behind in 2013, Mooloo if that's what your heart says is better for your and DGD's future (((hugs))).
Tbh, it does not sound like you two want the same things in a long term / end-game relationship.

For now, designing new sofa covers sounds like much more fun!

Savvy_sewing

Morning again. Nice relaxing start to the day. No alarm to wake me. No calls for granny. Just a gentle wake up around 9.15
I have looked at the text messages again. Noted the content in my journal so when my resolve tries to crumble I can remember the nasty piece of work that lurks beneath the facade.
I give up trying to be all to please everyone.
2014 is going to be a bit more of a selfish year as after DGD I will be putting myself first.
Mind you BF gave me a years subscription to national trust, so I will be making good use of that one. I see a few trips with DGD that I would otherwise not have been able to afford.
I am looking forward to getting my fabrics gathered and my creative juices working.
I plan do do some basic housework etc today so that I can clear my space ready to pull the sample books apart and clear the sticky paper back off of them.
2014 is going to be a different year that's for sure, but I plan to still make it a good one.
I am just going to test how strong I am I suppose.
But that's not a choice is it? It's just a fact that I have to deal with. Heck I have been here before. Long term lurkers will remember the many times when BF has done this, or even I did to him. But I am hoping that this time I listen to my own advice, and my family and friends that I have given it my best shot and it is time to give up trying, and move to pastures new. In this case working on my sewing.

Savvy_sewing

This morning he appears to have no hangover and he says no regrets. I have not bothered to reply.
On the other hand I am thinking of all that can now be achieved here at home, and the breaks that DGD and I can plan for the annual holidays etc.
today is a day to be positive, and although I am feeling sad, rather hurt, and disillusioned with him, I am positive that 2014 is going to be a good year for us and that all the challenges we face will be dealt with and we will triumph over them.
Just spoke to my parents on Skype. My sister and her partner are back in France.
My brother has been on Skype and said they called in on him on their way through. Today is a momentous day for him as the range they have had under dust sheets for a year is finally plumbed in and their new home is taking shape with heating, internal walls and the plumbing now works. I can't wait to get the opportunity to see it one day. So a trip to France may be on the goal list for this year.
Cooking a joint of pork I picked up on the reduced shelf yesterday. Washing the bedding and keep on keeping on!

candlelight_2013

Mooloo you sound so positive despite the childish and hurtful behaviour of BF. A trip to France sounds great later in the year and something else to reach for.

When you have finished a sofa or chair will you be able to post a photo, I would love to see it?

Candlelight x

Savvy_sewing

I will sort out how to put up pictures again. May have to go back to the laptop and the old camera as can't seem to do it with my mobile.
I will be putting up sewing makes on my Mooloos blog spot as well.
I don't really feel strong. I feel rather sad and lost but I have no intention of giving him the satisfaction of ruining my year at the start of it.

candlelight_2013

Good for you, he must know he has hurt you, but perhaps he thinks because he has got away with it before this isn't any different.

You deserve better Mooloo

Candlelight x

Savvy_sewing

candlelight_2013 wrote: »

Good for you, he must know he has hurt you, but perhaps he thinks because he has got away with it before this isn't any different.

You deserve better Mooloo

Candlelight x

No in his mind it is him that is the victim in all this. So be it. He can think and do what he likes now. He's set me on my new journey setting me free of his mind games and eventually I will get over it. I think I will get over him before he does of me. I have a busy life. His rarely changed in years. He will find filling his days off harder to do then I will. Dispite what he says he will also miss DGD. He had bonded with her.
As I say, he will find it harder.