Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Errata

Next time they come here they are in trouble, and it showed me clearly that I will not cope if they are homeless at the end of the month!!!

Indeed it did, and it showed them they couldn't cope either. Rotten having to clear and clean up after them when they'r both capable of doing it, rotten for DGD too. Ask for your key back, your home isn't a doss house.

thorsoak

Mooloo wrote: »

DS and GF went this afternoon. Well I presumed they had as bike gear gone. But the house was truely a disaster zone. I am fuming. ( well I was- now I'm just too tired) after work, collected dGD, got home to a mess like you wouldn't believe. It took me two hours to make the front room bareable to use, and the dishes washed.
Dispite telling them to wash up last night, as I cooked.
Every dish and every cup etc were dirty. If he had not broken his phone he would have had my wrath. I took photos, as I am so angry with them. It will take me a day or two to catch up on the place as I'm too tired to do any more now.
Next time they come here they are in trouble, and it showed me clearly that I will not cope if they are homeless at the end of the month!!!
I'm off to bed as I'm just worn out.

Oh yes you will, Mooloo ....all of us here will be on your shoulder, to cheer you on when you tell them "THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOU HERE - AND IF YOU STAY HERE YOU WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED HOMELESS"

Mooloo, I know from what you have posted before that you feel guilty as you think that he had less attention from you during his growing up years because of the twins - but that was then - he is an adult, albeit a vulnerable one, and has to take responsibility for his own life, and that of his unborn child. Once again, repeat the mantra "not my circus, not my monkey".

Savvy_sewing

I'm tired this morning, I didn't sleep very well. I've decided not to take DGD to the breakfast club in 30 minutes. To cut out the rush, reduce the stress, and take her to usual school start.
It means 1 1/2 hours less at work. But I never seem to get a break, rarely get to finish at 12 as advertised. But today I'm taking back my day. Just for today.
I have a Christmas decorations workshop this weekend, and it's been on my mind what I need, have, and need to do. So ontop of all my problems it played on my mind and kept me awake.

At least this morning I know downstairs will be as I left it when I went to bed.
I didn't have to get up at 6am to take gf to work. Bonus.
My massage is booked for 1pm. So I will leave work on time for once as well.
Somewhere along the line I need to food shop, craft shop, and start thinking of our Christmas.

duchy

Have they gone to the council and informed them they are expecting to be homeless ?

Basically I think you need to say to them that they blew it with the mess they left and it has made you realize that they simply cannot stay with you again and they need to be looking at other options as a fallback.

They need to telling the council they have nowhere and not that Mum can let them stay for a bit. If that means a room in a shared house rather than a flat for now- then so be it. They are adults having a child and are in charge of their own destiny.

If they moan about a room rather than a flat - Tell em it's tough. Had they treated yours and his niece's home with RESPECT they wouldn't be in the situation.

candlelight_2013

Mooloo, firstly can I say I am so pleased the shop is going well. I know you are really busy most of the time, but that just shows what a good seamstress you are, because customers must be passing your name on to their friends. May you live long and prosper

With regard to DS and GF, I am sorry to say it seems they have no respect for either you or your home. How could they leave it is such a mess after all you do for them and giving GF a lift in the mornings when you could be having a well deserved extra hour at home.

As Duchy says have they made any arrangements yet with regard to finding somewhere else to live, or are they expecting you to put a roof over their head again. Looking ahead what sort of home will the new baby be living in if they can't even wash up and tidy their stuff in your home. All the extra work a baby brings, I would seriously be worried about it's welfare.

I really think it is time for some tough talking with them, if she can't rely on any help from her parents you really need to be strong, please don't give in.

On a nicer note I hope you enjoy your massage this afternoon, and you feel better for it.

The workshop on Christmas decorations sounds really interesting I hope you have a full attendance.

Much love and BE STRONG

Candlelightx

Savvy_sewing

DS did go to the council, but they have to be homeless first!! Stupid.
Told them to keep hassling the council. At 24 weeks they can go on the Housing List anyway. Which I think is any day now. I loose count.
I reclaimed some me time.
We did the normal school run. Then I went to work, and did some alterations, but mostly I did fittings!
I left at 12.40 which wasn't too bad. Had time for a Mars bar before my massage. Which was great. My neck feels better, as does my shoulders etc.
I got home, moved the washing on, and ate a tinned curry and microwave rice as I was really hungry. Then collected DGD at 3.15 and we went to see my Parents at their house. Told them about twin1's baby when Mum and I were upstairs out of DGD's earshot.
parents agree that I no longer encourage Mum to engage with DGD and definitely not let her stay over Christmas.
Dad was having a clear out, and so I've a box of shirts and trousers for the shop. I always seem to come away with something.
I've cooked DGDs favourite Spaghetti Bolognese, and will save the rest for tomorrow.
Tonight while watching TV I've some hand sewing to do.
It's time to start getting my finances back on track, planning the menu etc again, and somehow de cluttering my home - again.

My Mum said she copes because she didn't really know the boys very well, so understands why I fear getting excited or close to any new grandchildren.

Savvy_Sue

Mooloo wrote: »

DS did go to the council, but they have to be homeless first!! Stupid.

Maybe, but it was ever thus. That's why it's quite important that you do NOT take them in, even on a temporary basis: they will not be homeless if you do, they will not be a priority.

Mooloo wrote: »

Told them to keep hassling the council. At 24 weeks they can go on the Housing List anyway. Which I think is any day now. I loose count.

I'm not sure 'hassling' is the right word. They need to be proactive once they're on the register. If the g/f has or can access a social worker that may be helpful, as someone like that can support their application and advocate for them.

What they mustn't do is fill in the housing forms and wait to hear ... it'll be a long wait!

Savvy_sewing

I will tell them Sue.
What I won't do is let them here, as I know we would not be classed as overcrowded etc. I couldn't live with his Gf at all. The last week or so has felt like an eternity to be honest. Much as it was good to see DS they infuriate me.
Now it's way passed my bedtime as I was sitting seeing table runners, and laying out doilies etc all over the folk to best fit them!
Think there is enough for two more good ones , and maybe a third is a bit iffy. So will contact client and ask her to get more as she needs at least 6 table runners. Not sure I'd I've seen 3 or 4 now. Must check when I get to work tomorrow.

Savvy_sewing

It's been one of those days. But I did take a little time out to have a chat and a cuppa with Molly41. But it's been busy the rest of the day, and non stop all the day.
I'm going to have to sew tonight as I have a dress needed for the morning.
Ran out of time today.
I don't intend to be still sewing at 11.30 tonight though!

Savvy_sewing

So today was a busy day, much as every other day in the week for me. But I did feel I managed to achieve more, as although I had lots of interruptions to do dress fittings, etc that the jobs I did were nearly all fairly straight forward, and went to time.
We sold 3 of our Santa hats that we had made.
still lots of people coming in for the first time and telling me they hadn't known I was there. Along with plenty of repeat customers too.
Tomorrow is the workshop for making the Christmas Decorations, my same two youngsters are coming. The other enquires never followed through, but never mind.
On the home front it's gone very quiet. I rang twin1 to ask her what her plans were, she is down at his. I didn't know she was going yet.
Apparantly she's coming back here on 15th, going back to his family for Christmas. So she then plans to move there in the new year and give up her flat up here.
I am not telling DGD about the baby yet. I will wait a bit as telling her she won't be seeing Mummy over the weekend is going to be the slow start( quick start)- to her reduced access to her Mum.
It breaks my heart, but there is nothing I can do to change things.
DS hasn't been intouch since he got his bike back.
Time to do dinner, then make sure I know what I'm doing tomorrow for the course!