Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

haybel19

Mooloo

I often lurk and cheer you on.

I just wondered if Twin 1 boyfriend fully understands and grasps why DG lives with you? Has he just heard Twin 1 version? Which could be a little different? He may not grasp the involvement social services will be required to have. Has he heard from you what happened and why this is a permanent arrangement?

As an outsider looking in I just wonder if he fully understands potential outcomes. Also just wondered if he has issues of his own?

Do his family know and undertand the issues they face?

Hope you wont mind my questions- they are meant with much kindness. I am so glad your shop is doing well.

duchy

Mooloo wrote: »

DGD is going to be heartbroken as she will enevitably see her Mum leaving her behind and choosing a new baby over her.
I personally don't mind her going away, but I won't be having anything to do with my grandchild this time, due to the shop and the distance.

Well you will if DGD wants to see her Mum and new half sibling although I agree there will be travelling difficulties but Kent isn't that far. It should be split fifty fifty though and not you doing all the travelling.

Errata

Perhaps if you start reminding her that mum isn't always very well, so she will be moving to be with some people who will be able to look after her?
HTH

Savvy_sewing

I am not feeling inclined to travel to his family, as I cannot stand him.
His family - his sister is supposed to be a social worker and she's the one who has supposedly told them they can get DGD back.
They are stirring up a mine field, and it will divide my family. So deliberately I will be as distant as I can from this child- as I know that either his family will bring it up, or it will be taken away.
So I don't want to get close to yet another child that is taken away from me.
That goes against my nature, but it's the only coping mechanism I have left to me.
I work 7 days a week. 6 days in the shop and at home, or like today while DGD was at a party I was in the workshop catching up with jobs.
I cannot take time out without shutting shop so bar my annual holiday, etc I won't be able to galavant around the country to visit.
I will see very little of any future grandchildren, and I hardly see Dgd2 now I don't babysit her twice a week.
Sorry but I feel very negative about the situation at the moment.

Brighton_belle

Your feelings are very understandable Mooloo. Protecting yourself from a distressing situation, the only way that seems viable, is more than ok.

haybel19

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Your feelings are very understandable Mooloo. Protecting yourself from a distressing situation, the only way that seems viable, is more than ok.

Totally agree with this.

Huge hugs Mooloo.

Hope you did not mind my questions. I admire how well you cope with what life has thrown at you.

haybel19

Mooloo wrote: »

His family - his sister is supposed to be a social worker and she's the one who has supposedly told them they can get DGD back.

Just wanted to respond to this- you have no idea what facts they have given the sister- this may very well be different to reality and of course this would make all the difference.

Huge hugs.

Savvy_sewing

I of all people originally would have loved a happy ever after for both DGD and twin1. However reality is totally different. Mum only wants DGD when bf is here. She never calls her, Skype etc- she has no reason not to.
It's always to influence him when she does.
He is full of stories and bull dung, and I can't remember his she but he is around 22 I think. He supposedly left his job to come here for her birthday, got her a ring, at a well known store, and spun the biggest lie ever to the assistants when we picked it up.
He may want family, I think he wanted the child support funds!
Maybe I am just too synister now.
What I find strange is why if he just moved here he now wants to go back there? Here they have a two bed roomed flat. There they have to live with his parents??
Here they have contact with DGD and a sort of good relationship, so why go away? Doesn't make sense to me.
Yes go away, start s new life, but why big up to DGD then go away?
Why play the big daddy bit? Moving away won't solve it?
For me, I am DGD's guardian legally, and my duty is to her. My dilemma is what is right?
I am feeling frustrated after trying to get mum to be regular in her life I now think that I should be reducing it!? So I'm confused.

Errata

I honestly think you have to do what's right for DGD, and ignore all the others. I don't think you're necessarily being cynical - but if it walks like a duck and talks like duck it isn't a kangaroo.

patanne

I wonder if reality has dawned with the boyfriend & he realises that it will be hard in an area where the twin is well known to social workers to keep this new child. Maybe he thinks going back home, where his sister may or may not be involved in social work, will buy them a free pass.