Depressed and on the Dole

Bookworm_Del

Happy Friday!

Had a bad night last night. Insomnia and over-thinking about feeling depressed and worrying I will feel this way forever. I was genuinely lying in bed thinking that I can't feel this way for the rest of my life, it scared the sh*t out of me tbh. So I decided to try harder today to get myself back into a better routine and back on track - eating better, sleeping better and being more productive. So that's what I have been doing. Making a start on all the little jobs around the house I have on my to-do list, eating proper meals and finding enjoyment in the small things like music for example.

After burying my head in the sand for a long long time and allowing my debts to utilities etc to mount up I have decided today that to help me get my mind in a better place, I need to sort my finances out. I have been on and paid a small amount, but an amount all the same off:
- Rent
- Electricity
- Gas


I also tried to pay something off my water bill but to no avail as their website was down. I have contacted themk to see if something is up with the site and when it is back on, I will pay that too.

Calling14

Hi Bookworm_Del popped on here and will be stalking your diary.

Glad you having a positive day. Good luck in 2014 with everything. Don't worry wastes too much energy, 'pull your head up off the floor and come up screaming' to quote one of my favourite songs.

Be watching ;-)

Bookworm_Del

Calling14 wrote: »

Hi Bookworm_Del popped on here and will be stalking your diary.

Glad you having a positive day. Good luck in 2014 with everything. Don't worry wastes too much energy, 'pull your head up off the floor and come up screaming' to quote one of my favourite songs.

Be watching ;-)

Hi Calling

Thankyou for your message. I love your quote, which song is it from? I will remember that one for sure, I love little quotes they really do help lift you in hard times

Happy New Year! x

Calling14

Thanks its a throwback to the 80's.

In a Big Country by Big Country. Helped me a lot in tricky times, I put it on and bounce around lol. Music is my life saver. x

Bookworm_Del

Calling14 wrote: »

Thanks its a throwback to the 80's.

In a Big Country by Big Country. Helped me a lot in tricky times, I put it on and bounce around lol. Music is my life saver. x

Just had a listen on Youtube and had a little bounce around myself. Really lifted my spirits. I love music too, it really helps uplift you and help shift your mood :j

Bookworm_Del

Finally got the Utilities website working and paid something off my water bill.

Bookworm_Del

I am so exhausted. I have been suffering really badly with insomnia, and it is crippling. I literally got in bed early last night only to toss and turn until at least 4am which was around the time I last looked at my clock to check the time.

I had plans to get up today and be productive, I was in the zone of OK, I will get up early, go for a walk/run or do form of exercise at least, eat healthily, have a productive day. But unfortunately, due to insomnia, that all went out of the window. I woke up at half ten after being awake at 8am for an hour. So annoyed with myself. Then because I am so tired, even the thought of having a shower and doing my hair was draining and overwhelming to me. I managed to do it but I could have easily left it and went back to bed.

I feel so sick with worry but this is what I deserve for burying my head in the sand and not dealing with things, because I have been feeling so down I have been opening mail and not even reading it properly and then stuffing it into the drawer because I haven't been able to face it.

Bookworm_Del

That was a strange conversation and now I don't actually know if I feel any better from ringing or whether I am still in the same situation.

Calling14

Utility companies are hell on earth to deal with. Sometimes you actually get a human being, Deal with them a lot through work as I work for a housebuilder.

I would try ringing and see if you get someone more helpful this time - its just a lottery who you get.

Sleeping hasn't been great for me last few nights mainly wind outside, living on a hilltop doesn't help at least I am not getting flooded but have roof tiles loose, hope they are still there when I get home.

My advice is just tackle one problem a day, sure you will get there in the end, reward yourself after with something nice.

Glad you listened to my wee song. Will think of another one for you.

Hope you manage to sort it. Swap to a meter? Is it a prepayment one? Be careful you could end up paying a lot more for your energy.

Look after yourself, health comes before anything else.

Bookworm_Del

Calling14 wrote: »

Utility companies are hell on earth to deal with. Sometimes you actually get a human being, Deal with them a lot through work as I work for a housebuilder.

I would try ringing and see if you get someone more helpful this time - its just a lottery who you get.

Sleeping hasn't been great for me last few nights mainly wind outside, living on a hilltop doesn't help at least I am not getting flooded but have roof tiles loose, hope they are still there when I get home.

My advice is just tackle one problem a day, sure you will get there in the end, reward yourself after with something nice.

Glad you listened to my wee song. Will think of another one for you.

Hope you manage to sort it. Swap to a meter? Is it a prepayment one? Be careful you could end up paying a lot more for your energy.

Look after yourself, health comes before anything else.

Thankyou so much, it feels so nice to have someone to talk to

Well I do actually feel much better today. I managed to sleep well last night, probably due to the fact I didn't the previous night but I felt sleepy about half 8 which is definitely a new concept for a night owl like me :rotfl: I hope you sleep better too and that your tiles are still there later, I have had problems with my roof in the past, it is a total nightmare.



Oh yes, love new song recommendations or just a reminder to listen to a song you know and haven't heard in a while I have been listening to a lot more music lately and it really is therapeutic!

I am going to try and stop being so hard on myself - Rome wasn't built in a day so I need to just focus on all these little things I have been doing which help eventually! I am feeling much more positive today :T