Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2014!

Buffythedebtslayer

blackberrycurved wrote: »

Hello Thanks for the advice. She lives in a flat quite close by and we call her every day. I visit maybe twice or 3 times a week, my bloke visits by himself once a week and my daughter maybe once a week. We also take her shopping once a fortnight and sometimes out for coffee or lunch in between. But I go out at 8am and aren't back until 6.30pm at weekends I'm trying to get all the cleaning and shopping done. But it's not enough on the days we don't see her she is on the phone upset and I live in constant guilt. She wants to live in a house with us there that has a garden that she can sit in. We don't have a garden at the moment, where she is there is a communal garden but she refuses to sit in it. We tried her in sheltered accommodation 2 years ago but she said it was too small. She won't move here unless the downstairs toilet is already in and is threatening to sell and move but the only houses she can afford here with £140,000 are old property that need a lot of work or something in a really unsafe area even them 140k will only get her a dog kennel. So I have to stop her from doing that. I just wish I could make the figures stack up.

I just wanted to drop in and say I know a little of how you feel. I love my Mum very much but living with her, a decision I made in grief and fear can be very difficult. She is utterly set in her ways, stubborn and determined. She cares for me a great deal and is wonderful in many ways however we do butt heads a great deal. the house is always hot, I am often found in short sleeves and shorts even in the dead of winter. Food is wasted, no meals planned, things cannot be changed with out long and careful discussion over months.. The house needs a lot of care and attention which I pay a share of and I pay rent at more or less the going rate for the area as since we did argue a great deal and I have huge guilt about this. Plus one sister lives abroad and so mum goes a visiting = huge cost.


It is difficult - two adults in an unequal relationship in a house. I am still very much treated like a child. I wish I had saved for a deposit and had my own place but there is not much point in putting a wishbone where your backbone should be. So here I sit, I love her very much and she loves me. However I apparently drew the curtains wrong.........:)


I really do think if I was advising someone in my position I would say no, don't. It is a restriction, a compromise and it is bloody hard at times. These days it is easier. I pick my battles and she picks hers. And we often have fun together - watching tv, I am taking her to the theatre this month and we both like gardening. As you say we won't have them for ever and as I never had kids she is really my only family. So it is a very different situation to yours.


I know your situation is different, in that she would be coming into your house and your family. And the adjustment would be on her, not you. well- I hope! and I do understand the horror you feel that you are leaving an old lady alone and afraid. It is an awful guilt. Money is such a nuisance at times like this!


I would definitely take legal advice. And ask your son what he thinks? I mean why is she mean to him? - you don't have to answer that here obviously, it is just everyone seems to visit but you don't mention him?


I don't know what the answer is. Now today it is good living here but it is tough at times.


Good luck XXXXXX

IrishRose12

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I just wanted to drop in and say I know a little of how you feel. I love my Mum very much but living with her, a decision I made in grief and fear can be very difficult. She is utterly set in her ways, stubborn and determined. She cares for me a great deal and is wonderful in many ways however we do butt heads a great deal. the house is always hot, I am often found in short sleeves and shorts even in the dead of winter. Food is wasted, no meals planned, things cannot be changed with out long and careful discussion over months.. The house needs a lot of care and attention which I pay a share of and I pay rent at more or less the going rate for the area as since we did argue a great deal and I have huge guilt about this. Plus one sister lives abroad and so mum goes a visiting = huge cost.


It is difficult - two adults in an unequal relationship in a house. I am still very much treated like a child. I wish I had saved for a deposit and had my own place but there is not much point in putting a wishbone where your backbone should be. So here I sit, I love her very much and she loves me. However I apparently drew the curtains wrong.........:)


I really do think if I was advising someone in my position I would say no, don't. It is a restriction, a compromise and it is bloody hard at times. These days it is easier. I pick my battles and she picks hers. And we often have fun together - watching tv, I am taking her to the theatre this month and we both like gardening. As you say we won't have them for ever and as I never had kids she is really my only family. So it is a very different situation to yours.


I know your situation is different, in that she would be coming into your house and your family. And the adjustment would be on her, not you. well- I hope! and I do understand the horror you feel that you are leaving an old lady alone and afraid. It is an awful guilt. Money is such a nuisance at times like this!


I would definitely take legal advice. And ask your son what he thinks? I mean why is she mean to him? - you don't have to answer that here obviously, it is just everyone seems to visit but you don't mention him?


I don't know what the answer is. Now today it is good living here but it is tough at times.


Good luck XXXXXX

Are you my sister by any chance:rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Are you my sister by any chance:rotfl:

thanks literally made me go cold with horror! I probably shouldn't have been so open! If you were my sister you would have rung Mum and told her by now! really wish you hadn't quoted my entire post! I feel terrible, I love my Mum to bits! must be more careful in the future!


*waits for phone call*

Bublin1

Perhaps IrishRose can delete her post.

Buffythedebtslayer

Bublin1 wrote: »

Perhaps IrishRose can delete her post.

Oh, no not at all, am just being daft honestly XX

bilko89

PDL1 - £26.24
PDL2 - £7.50
CC2 - £15
Phone 1 - £20
Phone 2 - £26.18

Council Tax has battered me off my road to recovery and I'm in the process of getting back on! Received my CT bill for the year and with still some arrears to pay from last year, I called and asked them if in the first month I would just be paying this years CT, with last years arrears still going to Charles Anderson, and they agreed!

Then Monday comes (28/04, i've been on holiday for a week) and I expect the amount on my bill (£96.60) to come out of my bank via DD. But to my utter shock and disbelief, they tried to take £379!! It left my plans to pay my other creditors in disarray, not to mention the bank charges I will receive for an Unpaid DD. I managed to get a few things sorted before I left on the Monday morning but CC1 and OD couldn't be paid! OD (Allied International) were sympathetic when I called and told me to call when I got back and had a look at my finances. I never got round to calling CC1 (M&S) but will be today (if they are open with the bank holiday today). Everything was planned out perfectly until this!


#176: £385.96/£4767.50

minicooper272

Bilko, speak to your bank and explain. They have the power to reverse the charges, and if you explain it wasn't your fault, they probably will. Worth a shot at the very least!

nolongerindenial

Well I've not got a calculator to hand but I've earned a whopping £160 overnight selling no cost stock.. Ie old stock I want rid of.

That's a straight payment to the credit card and I'll get more job lots listed..

Roll on clearing my debts

amr547

well done nolongerindenial

i can't really put into words how i feel today.. just one of those days !!

i am worried about the cost of next month though.

bilko89

minicooper272 wrote: »

Bilko, speak to your bank and explain. They have the power to reverse the charges, and if you explain it wasn't your fault, they probably will. Worth a shot at the very least!

I'll give them a call, thanks MINI :beer: