scared of dying

sassyblue

Robisere wrote: »

That brings me to your actual fear of dying. I do not share that fear, because I have 'died' and been resuscitated 3 times during brain surgery after a terrible accident. I actually 'saw' myself on the theater table, came back.

Why are you not scared now robisere? Did you experience more or do you now believe life goes on?

I think stories like yours are fascinating.

You've had some bad luck too, l hope you're as well as can be expected x

helencal80

I had a 'moment' a few years ago where I realised I was going to die. It sounds silly but until that point it had never really crossed my mind, obviously it happens to us all eventually and in fact it is the one thing we can guarantee. But I freaked out, it was completely irrational yet at the same time completely rational. Of course it's scary, but I believe that is the not knowing what will happen. If it is impacting your life you really need to get some professional guidance to help you through this. You don't want it to impact your children or your quality of life. It's not a silly fear, my sister is terrified of jelly, now that is ridiculous! Maybe think about going to your local church and see if that makes you feel more at ease. I'm not religious but I think having faith of some sort must be hugely comforting in times of stress. xx

paye

don't let this get you down. I know this has already been said but we all got to go some day. You should try find a faith this could help you. Way I look at it is when you die you will be in a long lasting dream.

Scrapaholic

You're not alone OP in thinking these thoughts . Mine started after Ds was born 35 years ago . I don't think about it all the time but over the years I've had panic attacks about it . Thinking that I won't always be here or my family either ,as we all have to go eventually . I'm 61 now and lucky to have good health as does my Dh . You're only 30 and if it's any help , as the years have passed I'm somewhat more accepting of it . We try and enjoy life and when I think morbid thoughts I say to myself , one day , but not today . Dd knows what to do when we eventually go and I hope that makes it easier for the family . I think it's the thought now of being old , infirm and not in control of my life that's sometimes on my mind . No use in worrying over it. What will be will be . Society today isn't comfortable talking about death or bereavement and the subject is generally avoided . Hope you can find some peace of mind .

paulineb_2

All I can say is enjoy life, I know that sounds daft but I remember my mum saying to me, that my gran never worried about dying, ever. She lasted till she was 86, she just got up every day and got on with it. She died very suddenly from a massive stroke 3 years ago and that smacked a big dose of reality into me and made me realise I need to enjoy the life I have left.

I cant say Im looking forward to it, but there are ways I wouldnt like to go. Both my grandparents had peaceful deaths, my gran had a stroke, she outlived her husband by 30 years, he died of bowel cancer

I want no fuss at my funeral, my gran insisted that there was only close family there. Both my grandpa and my uncle had big funerals but both died relatively young. I dont care if people turn up wearing pink and purple colours, good on them. In fact, I'll do as my gran did, close family, thats it, no hangers on who havent supported me during my life.

Its living that matters, make every moment count, Ive lost too many people I love too young to worry every minute about dying, I just want to live as long as I can so that people I love dont end up losing me young

And I do think its linked to depression or low moods, the fear of death, when you feel ok, you are just plodding along.

C_Mababejive

Perhaps it would help to expose yourwself to death a little more? Speak to undertakers,priests,doctors,nurses etc

paulineb_2

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Perhaps it would help to expose yourwself to death a little more? Speak to undertakers,priests,doctors,nurses etc

Im surprised you didnt suggest she become a gravedigger :rotfl:

custardy

flamingo747 wrote: »

I have no idea what I hope to get out of posting this, but I need to say it somewhere. I'm terrified of dying. I'm scared of the unending nothingness of just being gone. I'm scared of what would happen to my dh and ds. I'm scared I'll die young or have something awful wrong with me. I'm scared that it will all just stop, and the world will just go on, and of how utterly irrelevant my brief existence was.
Morbid, isn't it? I get times, particularly late at night, where I brood about this. I hate it. I'm only 30. I have a gorgeous toddler and a lovely husband. Things aren't great financially, but we scrape by. I've had this on and off for years, but it's bad again at the moment. I'm not really religious, though come from a very relaxed Christian family. For a while I believed in the pagan ideas about life, but I've lost that. I have no real faith in anything. Ny head says when we die, we die, just like all other life, plants, insects. It just stops.

Am I losing my mind? Am I the only one terrified by this?

Keep a life insurance policy,write a will.
After that its just life

Scrapaholic

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Perhaps it would help to expose yourwself to death a little more? Speak to undertakers,priests,doctors,nurses etc

Not sure whether it has been exactly helpful but I was a nurse for many years and dealt with the end of life care for many patients . I did bereavement visiting through age concern for 5 years . Through work I did a short course on loss and though I could have opted out , I visited the morgue . I told myself I wasn't going to chicken out of that and it was ok . I'm not going to accept the kind invitation that the local paper issues for a look around the crem !

sparklyshoe

I have been a similar situation and went to see my doctor who suggested CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave-)If you don't want to talk to your doctor for what ever reason you can just go self referral, they will not turn you away. They really did help they let you talk about your problem and find ways to help you cope and manage . You would be surprised how many people have the same issue as you, remember you are not alone and people are there to help you, you may feel that you think they don't understand but they really do. I had a problem of speaking out my fear as I was afraid they might think I was nuts etc but that honestly is not the case.There is a lot of surport to help you to live a normal life as possible. I hope you feel better soon

CBT NHS link -

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx