scared of dying

marisco_2

Do you have any reason to believe that your life will be brief? Have you gone through and overcome some form of life threatening illness or watched a close friend or relative do this? I have known such events to affect people negatively, and for them to be left with an awful fear of what the future holds. Like all the security they once had was ripped from them and they don't know how to get it back. I suggest that you confide all that you are thinking and feeling to your gp and take his/her advice on seeking professional help to address this.

Life is what you make of it and your existence only becomes as irrelevant as you allow it to be. I would hope that to your husband and toddler you are extremely special and the centre of their worlds. You have relevance, I find it concerning that your self esteem is so low that you don't recognise that at the moment. You wont be living your life to the full, or making the most of every moment whilst your focus and energy is concentrated on something so morbid. Part of living a long and healthy life is taking care of your mental health and outlook, as well as eating healthily and exercising. I wish you all the best.

lulu650

flamingo747 wrote: »

......Then out of the blue on the day after my 30th I had one whilst out alone. I was found by strangers, unconscious on the pavement. From where I last remember, I'd walked half a mile, crossing a busy road. I could easily have been hit by a car or collapsed in the road. If I'd had ds with me in the pram, he could have bee killed, or abducted.
It's knocked my confidence for six, I'm anxious about it when I'm out, even with my medical alert necklace........

As you're still only 30, I'm not surprised this has played on your mind. Anyone would be dwelling on this.

Presumably you've already gone to your doctor to have your thyroid medication checked after that last episode? As others have said CBT can be offered on the National Health. It's for changing your mindset to stop you thinking about the worst scenarios that could happen if you collapsed again.

You've said, previously, you are worrying late at night, probably disturbing the quality of your sleep and not enabling you to function at your best the next day and then becoming depressed. During the day, whilst depressed, your confidence is at an all time low. You're in a catch 22 situation. In the short term the doctor is likely to prescribe something to help you sleep. You could then concentrate on the CBT sessions.

I'm sure you will get through this

DigForVictory

Get help. Gaps in the memory do a number on you (now stabilised epileptic) and of course you're worried.
We're here with support, but no prescriptions, tests, therapy - we want you better, happy, thriving, so please do the mundane paperwork (not that buying a funeral is mundane, or cheap) and see the medics.
All the best!

Stephb1986_2

I don't think I am scared of dying, I'm quite calm about it I think. It's going to happen to us all one day, I just hope it's painless, I hope that my family will be ok without me. That is all I want

Steph xx

Robisere

I sympathise with your feelings. My wife suffered Thyroid problems which made her over active, argumentative and a real trial to live with, until she had treatment which stopped it. She takes tablets every day now, has her thyroid levels checked regularly and is a different person, back to the lovely woman I fell in love with. Both of us are in our late 60's.

That brings me to your actual fear of dying. I do not share that fear, because I have 'died' and been resuscitated 3 times during brain surgery after a terrible accident. I actually 'saw' myself on the theater table, came back. I have also had spinal surgery which saved me from becoming a quadriplegic, bowel surgery which resulted in a colostomy and I have a condition in my gullet which requires gastroenterology to check that no cancer cells are happening. I am waiting for two more appointments so that 3 consultants can decide the best way to operate and prevent a further problem, as my gall bladder has lost all function and needs to be removed, but this is complicated by the colostomy.

I tell you all of this to try to make you see that there are people in a much worse state of health than yourself, just as there are others who have bigger problems than me. You are a young lady with everything in life to live for, a family that loves you and that is something that can give you the strength to carry on. I feel sure that, given the right help and probably the right medical solution to your thyroid problem, you will someday soon look back at how you feel now and wonder at it. Turn to your family and get help.

It may also help if you can go to a quiet country area and just take in what is around you. If I can say, after all my problems, that life is good, please find it within you to realise that too.

Sunny11

I'm a little different, personally I've always believed that the body might conk out eventually but the soul is eternal.

krustylouise

Hi Flamingo,

Just wanted to say, I too have this fear, which comes and goes. I have Ben diagnosed with generalised anxiety, and Gav always assumed the worst regarding my health or the health of those closest to me, in particular my daughter. I remember being a young girl working out that by the year 2000 I would be 15 and being absolutely sure that I would not be so lucky as to survive that long! I suffered panic attack after panic attack, I've sought much help (counselling and CBT never medicines) now I am nearly 29, I occasionally worry about the nothingness after I pass, the future of my daughter and how no one can look after her quite the way I do (I split from her father and he hasn't had much to do with her upbringing).

There isn't much advice I can offer you, but I just wanted to say you're not alone, I definitely sometimes feel entirely overwhelmed with this fear, but I try to talk myself out of it by saying that if I spend this precious time right now worrying about what COULD happen, I am wasting possibly chances for some amazing quality time with DD. even if I have 1month left to live would I really want to waste it worrying?

If you ever want to message me and talk I am here and will reply, and can understand and sympathise xx

Racheldevon

As others have said I would pop along to your GP, rule out any medical cause, and then refer yourself to the local IAPT service if you want to go down the NHS route, which is time limited, CBT (generally). Alternatively you may want to look at private counselling/psychotherapy for which there are many low cost services usually available - maybe have a look on google to find out what's in your local town/city. This is not usually time limited, and might provide you with a wide range of different therapeutic approaches.

flamingo747

I really appreciate your responses, thank you

We've had a tough few months with my seizure, dh disciplinart and then resignation, tighter budgets as we're both unemployed, and now father in law is in hospital with a bleed on the brain (he also has seizures), and a non-sleeping toddler. It's most likely just stress that will pass.
I keep saying to myself, even if it is just nothingness, will worrying and dwelling on it actually change that? No, it won't. It is what it is. I am very lucky to have all the blessings in my life that I have.

krustylouise

You're exactly right, tiredness and stress will not help the way that you're feeling/thinking. I really hope your father in law gets better x