scared of dying

conradmum

I agree with others that you should consider counselling. But watching this talk may also help put things in perspective:

http://www.ted.com/talks/stephen_cave_the_4_stories_we_tell_ourselves_about_death.html

RoxieW

Flamingo I've suffered for 11 yrs so Unfortuntely I don't have any quick fix advice. But these are the things that help me - counselling helped me to understand the root of the anxiety - mine stemmed from being helpless/unable to control bad situations in childhood. I've finally found an antidepressant that works for me - citalopram, I take 20mg daily. Exercise helps me to relax and sleep better. Keeping busy. Rescue remedy. I have various apps of calming music and 'digipill' which is a relaxation app. trying to live in the moment and reminding myself to be grateful and live my life to the full. Spending time with friends...

It sounds like you're going through a stressful time with money, health worries, a toddler and unemployments - all and any of which could be triggers for depression. Do see your gp and also take time to be kind to yourself.

Warm wishes

Roxie

krlyr

You mention your thyroid issues - anxiety can be a symptom of hypothyroidism, have you had your thyroid levels tested lately, or noticed any other possible side effects? Don't know if you're on medication for it, but I know hypothyroidism often requires an adjustment of dosage - while I admit most of my knowledge relates to hypothyroidism in dogs (one of mine has it), my brother's girlfriend was recently diagnosed and has been struggling to get her dose right lately. I know a few people on other forums who have had to have their doses tweaked here and there because they'll become symptomatic again - the thyroid does continue to degrade so stronger doses of the medication are eventually needed.

notanewuser

I saw Stephen Fry with Bear Grills tonight (on telly, not in person!) and SF said that he absolutely doesn't believe in heaven (he's an atheist/humanist) but that his relatives and friends that have passed live on in his head, and the other people that knew them. I thought that was a really lovely approach to it.

unholyangel

I'm actually one of those people who doesn't fear death. Not through faith just simply because its a fact of life. Its not a question of if it will happen, its a question of when.

Perhaps instead of thinking of the negatives, try to think more constructively? For example, in ways you could make your passing easier - financially with life insurance/burial arrangements/will and of course, emotionally, perhaps a family album they can look back on and smile. Or (if they're very young) ask them to start a "silly mummy/daddy" diary and write down things the parents do that is funny. It may even give them a laugh as teenagers or adults when you're still alive and well. And I suggested funny things only instead of a normal diary so it will be only positive fond memories, something to make them smile

We're available for a limited time only, so lets make it count

FBaby

No you are not alone. I am very scared of dying to. I feel that I am strong enough to cope with everything, but just leave this world. I am most petrified of illness. I had a cancer scare last June and it was by far my utter worse nightmare.

Saying that, there is NOTHING we can do about it, and living in fear and anxiety is a complete waste of our healthly lives, so I make myself kick the thoughts away. I try to live the healthiest lifestyle possible and do everything to keep safe. If the thoughts invade my mind, I speak to my husband as he is very good at making me see that all that worry is pointless.

sassyblue

I had this as a child OP and if I'm ill l start having nightmares about it again, that said it doesn't interfere with my day to day life. Like others suggested maybe you could have a few sessions of counselling to get it off your chest?

After having my son l had other fears as l was dropping off to sleep, like him dying and how l,would cope. You're not losing your mind these fears are normal but if they are interfering with your day to day life then it might be sensible to seek some help. Xx

cydney65

I have a life-limiting illness and before this was diagnosed, I was petrified of dying.

Funnily enough, when I was told that this illness would end my life I felt totally calm about it-weird! I realised that I needed to organise things so that those I left behind wouldn't have to worry about things like a funeral, money, who had what etc.

I have written my will, organised and paid for my funeral, written and registered a lasting power of attorney and talked candidly to my nearest and dearest about what needs to be done when I die.

I can honestly say that it has helped me a lot. I still get those 'oh my god' moments, especially when I go to sleep at night, but they are not so scary any more.

Death is a taboo subject; people don't like talking about it, but it really does help to do so. Find someone to talk to about your fears, face the fear head on. Talk to a sympathetic GP about your seizures too-they may be able to help, both physically and psychologically.

I wish you all the best X

hazyjo

I'm 43 with no kids. I am not so much scared of dying, but I do always think I'm dying. I remember writing a will of sorts when I was about 13 (saying who I'd leave my jewellery box, alarm clock, etc to lol!). I've had my funeral song planned since I was probably in my teens or 20s (have added a couple more since) and often go to sleep expecting to die in the night.

Will quite often say to my BF to 'keep an eye on me' and often remind him if he ever hears a thud or groan to come running cos I might be having a heart attack or stroke and not be able to form words. I've hated being single and going to bed alone. This week I've been convinced I'm going to have a heart attack and had the BF feeling my pulse the night before last cos my heartbeat felt a bit fluttery.

I don't really know where it's come from. I've always been like that. I think I have cancer in about four places, every other disease going, or that I'm going to die on a motorway. Anything really. Always been convinced I'll die young - 43 is way older than I ever hoped for lol. The fear sometimes becomes quite intense - but I generally ignore it. I hate going to the doctors and would never voice my real concerns if I do have to ever go about other things. I'm not a hypercondriac, I just keep it all inside.

I think I'm quite a morbid person without being depressing. I do tend to look on the black side of things but am also quite level headed and pragmatic about it all.

I wanted to start a social networking thing about what people want for their funerals. Not some boring thing (think that exists already) but more of a fun facebook type thing that would make it socially acceptable to update your song choices, wishes, etc.

I think people take it too seriously. It's the only certainty we all have. Yes we will all die. Yes we will all be missed by someone at least. I'm sure we've all seen the gaping holes left behind when someone dies.

I want people to be upset when I go! None of this bright coloured malarkey, I want everyone in black veils (even the blokes ), throwing themselves at my coffin and I want lots of flowers. Tonnes. If people want to give to charity too, great. But it's my last day on this earth (albeit dead) so I want to be spoilt. I adore flowers. Go have a party afterwards, but no British stiff upper lip - let the tears flow. i want to be missed thank you very much! Often, the funeral's the only place people will find it acceptable to cry, so bloody well go for it.

Not sure if that helps in any way lol! I just try to embrace it. Live life to the full. Make plans that ease your worries (a video even for family!) and try to enjoy every second of actually living.

Jx

flamingo747

I'm feeling much better from discussing it, thank you all.