Learning to think like a frugal person

chanie

Big_bog wrote: »

Can anyone direct me on where to find ynab for the cheapest possible price please. £30 is the best I've seen so far. Thank you

Big Bog, on another site (Mumsnet, in case you are interested) somebody there said YNAB is on sale for £7.49, on a site called 'Steam'. I haven't been to the site myself, not have I heard of it, so I'm not recommending it in anyway.

I will try and post the link ( here is the link to Mumsnet. If you scroll to the last post, the link is there - I've posted the site as opposed to the link, as it isn't my recommendation, if you see what I mean)
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a1802000-You-Need-a-Budget-YNAB-thread-app-is-on-sale

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Big bog - when i got YNAB i think there was an option to have a 30 day trial before buying, not sure if that still applies but might be wirth checking the website so you can see whether you think it is worth the $ before you commit.

Chanie - what great thinking you are doing. I loved how you took lessons away from your setbacks. Your "if it is a regular item.." Rule made me think of a rule one of my diet buddies has which is that if a food is rare or unusual it is OK to deviate from the planned food for the day - but if it is available any old time then the plan should be adhered to.

Iammumtoone - chanie's suggestion about putting the word out for anyone with a mixer that is gathering dust also made me think of Freecycle - i haven't ever used it but it might be a place where you can pick one up. I have been contemplating checking it out to see if i can pick up a second bike. I had my bike set up on a trainer that allows me to exercise on bad weather days but it is a pain in the proverbial to take on and off so i had been contemplating getting second bike. Thought that was off the agenda now i am in the land of frugal but then realised it might be possibly to pick one up free, it doesn't have to be fancy at all given it will just be an exercise bike. I love how this frugal mindset is making me find new solutions to problems!

My credits: i got overcharged for that app i bought the other day for my kids so today i emailed and asked for a refund, only $1.99 but still, every $ counts. Approached my decision about what to have for lunch from a "what needs to be eaten soon" perspective. Our groceries budget is in surplus. How awesome!

My observations of the "not spending available cash" plan for the day- i have racking my brains to find a point today where there was discomfort and there just wasn't. It was no effort whatsoever. Granted i was at home all day so not much temptation ( though i was working on the computer which is very connected to the internet). Tomorrow might be more challenging as i will be stepping out into the world of commerce to fill a script and get keys cut for the chicken sitter who will be looking after our beloved chooks while we are away next week. Actually as i write this i realise that the "reducing exposure to temptation" is really helping me. Normally i would be fighting to resist spending money on the internet on things i had been alerted to in emails - but i haven't had to fight that battle, which has been nice.

owen-b

chanie wrote: »

Big Bog, on another site (Mumsnet, in case you are interested) somebody there said YNAB is on sale for £7.49, on a site called 'Steam'. I haven't been to the site myself, not have I heard of it, so I'm not recommending it in anyway.

I will try and post the link ( here is the link to Mumsnet. If you scroll to the last post, the link is there - I've posted the site as opposed to the link, as it isn't my recommendation, if you see what I mean)
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a1802000-You-Need-a-Budget-YNAB-thread-app-is-on-sale

Unfortunately that sale ended in the last few days - a shame because that was an AMAZING price! I've seen YNAB go on sale both on Steam and on their proper site a few times a year, but I don't think there'll be another one for a few months now.

There's loads of $6 discount referral links going around - YNAB sends them to everyone who buys their own copy. I used this one I think when I bought my copy last year. Only works on their official site though.

Steam is fine, by the way. It's a HUGE platform for selling digital games for Mac and PC, but they also branched out into software. No need to be suspicious of it, it's fine

chanie

I have a Body Shop loyalty card and I was due a free gift. I managed to get £16 worth of products for 35p. Four our of the 6 items will be xmas presents.

I have brought lunch to work for the past two days (yay).

owen-b

We've been using the Paprika app for iOS to find great recipes on the web, save them in a standard format on the app, then use the recipe planner to decide what we want to eat that week, then it adds the ingredients we'll need to a shopping list. We buy what we need, cook meals that lend themselves well to freezing, make enough for 4 or 6 and then freeze 2 or 4 portions. Later in the month we can turn to the freezer and find dinner with all the convenience of 'ready meals' without any of the expense or the hideous levels of salt and fat they all contain.

The effect it's had on our grocery bill is quite staggering.

ForMyGirls

Hello coaches,

Welcome to my diary Owenb - and thanks for the tip on Steam. I have something of a software addiction so next time I have money in the budget for a software indulgence I will see if I can get a bit more bang for my buck! I also know and love Paprika :-) One of the big changes I have been making is to be less wasteful with food and I agree - the impact on my groceries budget is enormous.

chanie - great work on the packed lunches - they save a bomb. And awesome work in maximising that 35p

My big credit for the day links in with the "burning pocket hole" experiment - and my software addiction. A bit of a long winded lead up though ... One of my and my partner's long-term life goals is to buy some land in a beautiful bit of bush we both adore and then move there once the kids are grown (in a shared care arrangement moving any sooner is not an option). The plan is to build a barebones shack which we can visit regularly until we can move and then turn the shack into a proper home at that point. The more sensible thing might be to buy a home where we live - but hey, why live sensibly? Working out a plan for paying off my debt has made this dream so much more real - it is now not just a "one day we will buy the land" plan but a "in 5 or 6 years we will buy the land" plan.

(I will get to the credit soon I promise).

Night before last we were engaging in some real estate !!!!!! and came across a truly gorgeous 6 acre block. Totally perfectly what we dream of. Which then led us into sketches of house plans etc. I discovered this awesome iPad app for drawing house plans - the tricky bit being that you can't save your work in the free version. Here we get to the credit - I didn't buy the paid one! I wanted it so badly I could almost taste it. I sent a whole raft of sabotaging thoughts packing ("it'll save you money on drafting fees one day"; "hey you deserve a bit of fun - look how well you're going on saving money"; "you know you'll be buying it soon anyway so why not buy it now" etc etc etc).

When I got up this morning I was still LONGING for it but then I stopped and thought - which do I want more? - a new bra (still saving for that - hopefully in the next 2 weeks) or this app? - I realised the bra is the hands down winner.

I rock! (wow - even with my well established self-crediting skills that feels a bit over the top!)

My thoughts about it from the "burning pocket hole" experiment perspective. I give it a 4.5 on my scale. I actually went back and looked at the scale and I think maybe the scale is wrong - because it felt really uncomfortable - but not as uncomfortable as not being able to 'rescue' my kids when they are having friendship problems (which I put as a 5 - on reflection I think it probably deserves a 7). The longing to buy that app certainly surpassed any desire to spend I have had in the last few days. Had I not been in the 'no spend' zone I am sure I would have hit the 'buy' button.

As for what KIND of motivation it was. Not need - though it did a damn good job of masquerading as it. Want? Yeah - that fits. "Shiny new thing not quite like something I already have?" - maybe - though some of my brain is saying "but you don't have anything like it" which actually isn't true - I do have paper, pencils and a ruler - they just don't look as pretty. So it is probably that one. Fulfilling an emotional need? I don't think so - it is more about living in the future. Which is probably a category in itself.

In any event I am sure the app - and probably something far superior to it - will be around in 5 years time when we are ready to buy the land and build a home.

Oh - and I almost forgot - I had a cool experience yesterday. I was at the shops filling a script. Went past a clothes shop I like and instead of thinking the normal "maybe I can buy something" I thought "maybe I will go and have a look because one of these days there is going to be play money to buy an item of clothing with" I really was thinking of it as a information gathering exercise - and I really was thinking about the prospect of buying 1 item of clothing. Who knows - I might even end up being someone who can window shop for fun :-)

Box_of_Fluffies

Hi FMG, I've been following your thread for a few days now and it is giving me food for thought. I have been travelling the debt busting road for 2 years now, although took a break from MSE for a few months, and excluding our mortgage have reduced our debt by 70%.

I'm loving your new approach by adopting the principles you've learned from your weight loss journey.

I've subscribed to your diary.

P.S. I'm just across the ditch in NZ. :wave:

chanie

FMG - this 'thinking like a frugal person' malarkey is starting to get difficult isn't it? I whizzed few the first few days of the plan and now I'm really having to work hard at it. I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but its kind of exhausting.

If you really want to focus on the 'dream' how about getting a spare notebook for planning e.g. cutting out pictures from magazines of things you may like, or jotting down ideas? It may help to satisfy the spending craving. Well done on NOT giving in to temptation though.

Fluffies - welcome to this thread and congrats on getting your debt down by 70%. I would love to hear how your did it.

Credits
Lunch from home again today - I used up some veg at home that was about to go off (extra credit for that)

I normally have breakfast at work and had run out of Weetabix. I only remembered on the way into work, so popped into the local hideously expensive supermarket, which has cereral for £2+, which is £1 more than I normally pay. So, I got a packet of porridge oats for 70p instead.

ForMyGirls

Thanks for saying hello BoxofFluffies. I am also looking forward to hearing how you have achieved your big debt reduction - that is a pretty huge effort.

Chanie - your comment about it getting tough was very timely for me. I have had a low motivation day so it has been very helpful to hear that i am not alone in my challenge. Thank you! I am super impressed by your frugal sandwich and breakfast eating steps.

Last day today of my "not spending the money in my pocket" experiment today. My lunch companion ended up insisting on buying me lunch (without knowing about my frugalness!) so i didn't even have to break it early. I noticed myself having the thought as i left lunch "so i didn't have to spend $on lunch - what shall i spend it on instead?" Fortunately i worked out pretty quickly how little sense that made and kept the moeny in my pocket.

In terms of discomfort - really none today. Overall i would say i have learnt from the experiment that it is perfectly possible to not spend money - even when it is available and even when there are things i want. Tomorrow i shall do Day 13 (if i am right that that is where i am up to!)

Credit for the day- posting here even though it has been a low motivation day!

A cool thing : two bills have come in in the last couple of days that i have been able to just pay because there was $in the account. Normally i have to set a reminder to pay them on payday - so much easier to just pay and file:-)

Thanks for being there readers and posters - it has helped a lot today.

ForMyGirls

Having finished my experiment in not spending money that was sitting in my pocket I can move onto Day 13. In Beck's book this is about learning techniques for tolerating cravings. To me the equivalent in the world of money is the compulsive urge to spend. I think most of what Beck says is pretty directly referable to learning to think like a frugal person. This step may also take a couple of days to finish.

There are two parts of it.

Part 1 is monitoring - each time I have a 'craving' - or compulsive urge to spend I will think about how intense it is - using the discomfort scale I created for Day 12. I will also monitor how long it lasts (it is a bit of an eye opener to realise how variable this is - sometimes it's gone in a minute - sometimes you do battle for hours!). Finally I'll jot down any techniques (more about that in a minute) that I used to deal with it. I will do this the next 3 times I have a craving. My memory from doing this in the weightless program is that I kept forgetting to do it so we will see how long it takes :-)

Part 2 is the techniques. Beck talks about 2 different types - mindset techniques and behavioural techniques.

There are 5 mindset techniques.

1. Label it - name it as a craving / compulsive urge to spend. Incredible how powerful this is!

2. Stand firm - Beck talks about having a "resistance muscle" and a "giving in muscle" - she talks about it earlier in the book but I can't remember where. Essentially every time you resist eating in response to a craving (or spending in response to a compulsive urge) you increase your ability to resist in the future - and every time you give in you do the reverse. In this context she says you 'stand firm' by telling yourself you're just not going to give in.

3. Don't give yourself a choice - this is one of my MOST favourite bits of the Beck program. When faced with a craving or compulsive urge to spend just say to yourself NO CHOICE. Then you don't have to do battle with yourself and argue with yourself about why you should or shouldn't give in - you just make it simple - there is no choice! (I could have used this today but more on that later!)

4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in. I don't often remember to use this one, but it is pretty powerful when I do. Essentially what she says is that when faced with a craving we get all caught up in how great it is going to be when we eat whatever it is we are craving. She says remind yourself to think about how it will feel AFTER you've eaten it. When you feel bad about having let yourself down, when you keep eating / spending even though you said you wouldn't. In the context of money a powerful part of this imagining the aftermath will be the feeling when I next do my budgeting and see a red number.

5. Remind yourself why you want to withstand cravings - simplest way is to pull out that ARC and remember the reasons I want to be financially responsible.

There are 4 behavioural techniques:

1. Distance yourself from the thing you crave - probably easier in a world of money than a world of food because often with food you can't distance yourself! For me in the world of money this will involve leaving a shop (or moving to a different aisle) - closing down a web page if it is something on the internet - throwing away a catalogue etc.

2. Drink a no or low calorie beverage - I think this one probably isn't referable Beck talks about the fact that thirst is often misinterpreted as hunger so drinking a calorie free drink will often satisfy / avert a craving. I can't think of an equivalent in the world of money - but if anyone can think of something let me know!

3. Relax - use a relaxation technique - my personal favourite is STOP (this is not from Beack - just a relaxation technique I have picked up elsewhere)-
Stop,
Take a Breath,
Observe (I usually try to note 3 things I can see and 3 things I can hear),
Proceed

4. Distract yourself - here Beck talks about the fact that often a craving will go away if you are distracted by something else - she suggests that you create a list of ideas of things to use to distract yourself so that next time you encounter a craving / compulsive urge to spend you can use one of them to deliberately distract yourself. She has a list of ideas for distractions in her book - things like go for a walk, talk to someone, play with a pet or animal, brush your teeth, polish your nails. You can kill two birds with one stone with this one and get housework done - it is amazing how distracting cleaning out cupboards or scrubbing bath tubs can be!

So - that is Day 13. I will report in over the next couple of days and tell you what my monitoring discovers.

Day 13 checklist:
1. I read my ARC twice
2. I read other response cards (i.e.: ones I have created in response to sabotaging thoughts I have noticed) as necessary
3. I used my "stop impulse spending" and "savouring strategies - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
4. I used pause, plan, pay - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
5. I gave myself credit for helpful spending behaviours - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
6. I acted in accordance with my spending more wisely / living more cheaply plan - every time? most of the time? some of the time?
7. I planned how I will overcome compulsive urges to spend?
8. I observed a compulsive urge to spend?
9. I overcame a compulsive urge to spend?