Daughter moved out - how long until I can 'box her things'?

socks_uk

My daughter (25) and her boyfriend have bought a new house together and officially moved in a week ago. So pleased for them... such a lovely couple!

So now I'm desperate to have a nice clean tidy house. My 'baking & cooking' daughter has food in the fridge, freezer, her allocated cupboards and also on her designated worktop in the kitchen. I had to give her her own designated space to prevent the whole kitchen being taken over with mess.The bathroom looks like Boots the Chemist and her bedroom is half boxed (by her) the rest still needs sorting.

She popped back on Friday while I was out to get her bedding for her friends who were staying over for their housewarming party and also yesterday for a few minutes to collect some forgotten presents for her friends.

I'm not too worried about her bedroom at this stage, I can close the door on it (even though we do live in a bungalow and could do with the space) but is it too soon to box up her stuff from the kitchen & bathroom?

My daughter has a lovely, minimalist, tidy & clean house (at the moment) and I've got a feeling she's cherry picked what she wants and just left the rest here (until she needs/remembers it) but I don't want to just 'box her up' and dump it on her doorstep.

Any advice on how long I should leave it 'in situ' as I feel it's too soon to start asking "when are you going to pick up your stuff?"

Thanks in advance.

cheepskate_2

box it all up , leave it in her room and tell her it is there.

Meadows

Box up everything including non perishables from the kitchen cupboards and say you have until 'X' to take it, as for what is in the fridge then use or discard.
If you don't things will stay there indefinitely if not for ever while she decides 'do I want it or not', so the best time to get rid is at the onset, if she wanted it she would have taken it or at least packed it for a quick pick up when she popped by.

socks_uk

Thanks guys... I did think about buying some paint to freshen up the kitchen and box things up 'so they don't get paint dripped on them'.

It might have been easier if she had chosen to go to university when she was younger!

jackomdj

My sister did the same and it took a few years (until my parents wanted to paint her old room) until they boxed her things up. Even then she did not take it and my parents ended up throwing it out (or putting in the loft some of her special things).

Me on the other hand, I stripped my room of all my possessions, binning things I didn't want. Cleared all my bits from around the house. That was probably just as difficult for them in some ways (I am the youngest but moved into my own house first when I was 20)

becominganobsessivesaver

10 years after finishing uni and officially moving out my parents are still coming to visit with the odd box of stuff (more so now we have a double garage!!!). My advice - do it now!

victor2

Tell her you're going to redecorate her old room and will take her left-behind stuff to the tip/charity shops in January, so she needs to collect anything she wants. Mention you'll get rid of her other stuff in the house at the same time, to make a fresh start.
Do it, but put anything you can't bear to dispose of in the loft, then give the room a new lick of paint. You have all the time in the world to do that as it's an unused room.

jetplane

Do it now, tell her to box it all up or you will. Put it in her room and she can keep what she wants and bin the rest.

I did that with my daughter but she still has stuff here and in the loft because .. And I quote from her;

My house is much bigger than hers
It feels like I can't get rid of her quick enough
I can sell what she doesn't want
This is still partly her home

The list of excuses is endless I should take my own advice :wall:

Spendless

My mother told me within a week! But she gave my sister the same date who had moved out 6 months before me. Mum must have got bored of sister's stuff around for the interim months so decided to act swiftly when I went.

Pollycat

socks_uk wrote: »

So now I'm desperate to have a nice clean tidy house. My 'baking & cooking' daughter has food in the fridge, freezer, her allocated cupboards and also on her designated worktop in the kitchen. I had to give her her own designated space to prevent the whole kitchen being taken over with mess.The bathroom looks like Boots the Chemist and her bedroom is half boxed (by her) the rest still needs sorting.

I assume your daughter is not going to be doing any cooking in your kitchen now so I can't see any reason why you can't reclaim the space she was allocated.

I'd box everything up, put it in the bedroom and tell her you've done that and that if she wants anything, to come and collect it.

Ask her if she wants anything from the bathroom and freezer too and if not, either use it yourself or bin it.

busiscoming2

I'd just ask her if she is coming to collect the kitchen stuff or would she like you to drop it round? Obviously this depends on who drives etc. Arrange to do it sometime over the Christmas period.

As she loves baking, I'm sure she would want her ingredients soon.