Gifts to return/pay for on 'break up'

Homeagain

Good evening everyone, bit of a dilemma for which I need some advice or even just general thoughts.

My daughter who turned 17 a few days ago was given 3 rather expensive birthday gifts by a boy she had been seeing but was not really happy with. He is a sweet boy but clearly not right for her. She has now decided to 'break up' with him and told him today, offering to return 2 of the gifts to him and pay for one of the items which is perfume. Unfortunately she has opened and used the perfume so this cannot be returned, the other 2 are jewellery items. The problem is that he demanded that she pay for all the gifts he bought her - approximately 80.00. She has been saving her babysitting money and has about this amount in her account. Whilst I am pleased she is acting morally over the issue - I don't believe that she should pay for the gifts - she should return those that are unused (no doubt he will be able to take them back for a refund) and pay for the perfume. I know that legally she does not have to do anything but again, morally she is right to return them and pay for the perfume - not just pay for them. What do you think?

sharnad

It's gifts I would tell him to go away

z.n

Unfortunate situation but I agree with your daughter- she is being very fair indeed. Young man's response does however confirm (IMO) he is not the right one for her - sounds almost like she would have been expected to offer 'value for money ' for the gifts (eek) but he could have spoken when upset and without thinking it through.

krlyr

If they were given to her then they're hers. He should be grateful she's returning them and paying for the perfume at all!

This is on couples cohabitating, but does state "Gifts or inherited goods belong to the person who receives them."
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/scotland/relationships_s/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_s/living_together_and_civil_partnership_legal_differences_scotland.htm#h_money

Macca83_2

To be honest she did the right thing in offering to return the gifts, she didn't have to. But since he's now being a bit of a pillock I would tell him to !!!! off

paulineb_2

She doesnt need to return them or pay for them, I didnt return anything to an ex when we split and vice versa, hes just hurt and this is the way hes showing it. Tell her to keep her cash.

azzabazza

Young lad is obviously hurting! Your daughter sounds very mature in her approach. Yes, return the unopened gifts if she feels she should. No do not reimburse any money and as her birthday has passed I don't think she should pay for the perfume.

Money_maker

Keep the cash and return all 3 gifts. If the perfume is used then so be it. Clean break, no recriminations.

Homeagain

Thank you everyone for the advice. I think he is just hurt and a bit angry. I agree that she does not need to return anything but she feels bad. I think I will insist that she returns the jewellery and keeps the perfume because she has opened it. I won't allow her to pay him anything although I think she is going to insist that she pay for the perfume - will do my best to dissuade her but I don't think its right.

Homeagain

Money_maker wrote: »

Keep the cash and return all 3 gifts. If the perfume is used then so be it. Clean break, no recriminations.

... not a bad idea but then he can't return the perfume and is out of pocket. Having said that she now tells me he kept going on prior to her birthday about how hard he had to work to earn the money to pay for her presents. She did not demand that he spend all his money on her ... she's not like that.

Soleil_lune

If I was her, I would say 'see you in court.' Like hell is he entitled to the money back!

Maybe THIS woman can sort this out!