Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

StressedSteph

abba1772 wrote: »

Fingers crossed for hubby renovating next door xx

kelpie35 wrote: »

Oh Steph I am here sending you positive vibes.

I do hope your hubby gets that great job next door. It would help you so much. You both deserve very good luck coming your way.

I will also say a wee prayer for you and your family this evening.

Take care.

hiddenshadow wrote: »

Fingers crossed on the renovation job - that sounds ideal!

Thanks for all the positive vibes xxxxx

StressedSteph

tootallulah wrote: »

ooooooh Steph I am sending SUPERVIBES!

clearmydebts wrote: »

Sending loads of positive vibes!!!!

Thanks guys. Fingers Crossed xx

StressedSteph

fern44 wrote: »

Hi Steph not sure but think you mentioned your mortgage is with Santander ? have you checked out their own mortgage calculator
there are some low rates but you do have to pay fees also you have said they have been quite flexible about your payment date
and possibly you could over pay if you one day were able .one day ! I would stick with your current provider for now a two year fix would be good if it saves you money and gives you more time to get the finances straight
keep going I know you don't think so but you are doing well
2 years ago you had over £20,000 of debt if you had not paid it of just think where you would have been by now x

Thanks for your reply Fern, I was just curious if I could get on a MUCH better deal than what Santander are offering, although in most likelihood they are only offering 4.29% because of my crummy credit score .

Like you said I also do have the flexible non direct debit thing going on at the moment which isn't brilliant but it certainly saves a lot of financial panics until the debt is gone, because then I will work on my YNAB buffer and then mortgage direct debits won't be an issue.

Hmmm food for thought, thanks for taking the time to reply. I guess us MSE'rs are always on the hunt to save a penny or two but sometimes it isn't viable. xxx

StressedSteph

Morning Diary,

Calm after the storm here a little. I have a pretty empty day stretching ahead of me. Apart from the usual washing, cleaning, dinner preparing etc.

I still keep making myself feel anxious churning over money making thoughts in my head. I really feel like I could/should be making moves towards a better paid career or some money making scheme.

It feels like everyone around has their !!!! together except me. One friend up the road is starting a pork pie business, another friend has started a cleaning company, another has a little craft business with fleeces from their lambs, all my other friends are 30+ hours per week workers (although they do have strong grandparent support for childcare of which I do not have).

I can't seem to be happy just being at home and not feeling the pressure to try to bring in some money. I know it is daft but I also worry in case hubby ever finds a newer model and I am left without any income stream or skills to earn my own money :eek:.

AAARRGGGHHHHHH.......I wish I could get this sorted as it is making my head hurt and ruining day after day.

So far my options seem to be this:-

* Find £1500 from nowhere and train as a Foot Health Practitioner.
- should be a flexible job as long as the demand is high.

* Set up as a Childminder - Lots of hoops to go through but my local council are having an open evening in November which I am provisionally signed up onto. Potential of earning £4per hour with upto 6 children, but can only imagine maybe 2 or 3 at the same time. Surely one person cannot cope with 6!!. This would be a nice flexible job within my home, but lots of red tape and Ofsted inspections :eek:.

* Start up the crafts again - I feel like lots of friends are doing this and I am desperately trying to search for an USP. Something different that none of my local friends are doing, so less competition, but something that lots of people would buy - that magic item that about another million housewives in the country are searching for :mad:

* Push my Indian Head Massage & Reflexology but I seem to have lost all confidence in my abilities . I don't get anymore calls from the Spa, mostly down probably to me asking for only clients during school hours, but I can't help that.
I got bought a Spa voucher for my birthday and I was thinking of booking in for an Indian Head Massage or Reflexology to use it as a chance to compare my treatment to theirs. Then I might know if I am waaaay off the level that I should be or if I am amazing
Haven't plucked up the courage to book in yet.

* Or final option
Just embrace being a SAHM. Work on keeping the house tidy, farm animals well tended, veg plot up together and stop torturing myself about producing a decent income stream.

PLEASE HELP ME

kelpie35

I honestly think you should go with your FINAL option.

You are doing a grand job. You have to be admired for your strength and dedication to your family.

Please don't beat yourself up.

I know that it is a terrible struggle for you at the moment, but you will look back on this time as a steep learning curve. It will have shown your family that you are a strong, loving and kind person. I am sure they will and do appreciate all you do for them.

Take care

hiddenshadow

I would lean towards option 5 with a bit of 3 and 4 mixed in.

Crafts - I would count this purely as BONUS MONEY. Do you enjoy any particular craft over others? I'm mostly a knitter, but making myself anything larger than gloves/hat (done and done) takes forever. There are a lot of patterns for baby/kids clothes, but as I don't have kids I don't have any need to make them. I have thought about finding patterns that look interesting from a knitting perspective (e.g. I'd enjoy doing them as a hobby) and then see if they'll sell on Etsy/somewhere. As long as you count the supplies in your fun money (my allowance is primarily taken up by yarn purchases!) then any money you make from selling something is 100% "profit". And if you stick with things that you'd like making, and don't worry so much about turning it into a money-spinner, you're more likely to stick with it and make more things (with less stress), rather than trying to build/keep up with high demand for things you only make for the income.

Massage/spa - I would also count this as BONUS MONEY, but see if you can get a bit more structure. Can you ask the spa what sort of schedule works best for them? They've been in business for a few months so must have a sense of what treatments are in most demand, what days/times are best for their clients, etc. Rather than coming to them with a negative "I want business but can only work X-Y time", can you suggest a business opportunity to them? "If you were to offer a child-minder at the spa, you'd bring in more business and I'd be able to do treatments anytime". Perhaps that's not in their business plan/not feasible for them financially, but you never know until you ask.

Also, on the self-esteem front, can you ask for some sort of performance review? Sit down with the boss and find out what sort of feedback he's gotten overall from the customers - see if he has any suggestions for other things you could add to your treatment (like the music he suggested originally), or other treatments you might train in to add to your repertoire. If he has nothing but good things to say about your treatments, then ask what can be done to step up the amount of them (see above re: scheduling). And if he has any constructive criticism, then you know what to work on for the future.

SAHM/smallholding - I would view this as SAVINGS - can you bulk cook meals to reduce on monthly food spends? (I've been looking into once-a-month cooking, but have yet to bite the bullet, but it's meant to reduce food spend/cooking time/shopping frequency.) Can you increase the amount of meat/veg you grow yourselves to save money? Any other ways you can reduce spending? (I've noticed a lot of things are more expensive if they're more convenient, a la the old "time is money" adage, can you flip this around so that you benefit by having more time to do something so that it saves money?)

You're doing really well with what you've got to work with, try not to beat yourself up too much! Personally I've found it really helpful to try and break myself out of a negative thought cycle by coming up with just a few things (however small) that are positive. Today, I got in to work early, I'm working from home tomorrow so no commute (pre-paid so no money savings, but at least I save time!), and we've got plenty of food (which is good as our grocery budget is down to £11.09 for the rest of the month!).

fern44

Hi Steph
Non of anyones business but I am assuming you are a partner in your husbands business because it has tax advantages ?
if you got a job you would lose this
it also sound as if you do all the paper work ?
Christmas is coming so you will soon be making wreaths ?Now is the time to collect cones etc before it gets too wet
have a look at making wreaths that are just made out of things that will keep ie no fresh greenery you can always add greenery at the last minute .make grave pots, baskets and table arrangements the are quick and easy and sell well. Sell from home do you have anywhere you could possible set up as a little shop or even a little stall ? for your wreaths etc As I have said before every £1 you earn cash is worth £2 because you have not taken that £1 out of the bank. do you have any fruit you could sell apples and damsons and plums sell well round here, eggs also, sometimes people even just put an honesty box (nailed down!) If it wasn't for the debt you would be fine you have proved you can sort it out once the debt is gone you will be able to save and that should be in less than a year x

mummytogirls

Hi Steph,

I think you defo need to embrace your current role in the house. You don't seem to have the support network to help you if kids are ill etc and if you have clients or another job. Me and DH struggle for help when girls are unwell and our families live 2 miles away!

Childminding... I know a couple and the amount of paperwork seems a lot and they seem to struggle to keep up. I personally would send my children to someone like you with the holding etc (my childminder was very similar as I wanted that kind of environment for my children). That said there is no way I could have other kids in my house all the time :rotfl:. My own girls touching windows stresses me out enough ha!!!

Hope this helps x

Moneywhizz

I think you should make the most of this time at home with your kids,while making some extra money through the things you already do ie cleaning, working at the spa, making wreaths, etc. you probably don't realise just how much you bring in with all these sidelines.

That doesn't mean that you will have to settle for this at a later time, when your children are older and more independent, you are debt free, and can possibly save money to do some retraining for a career that you would enjoy.

Lots of people would love to be stay at home mums but just can't afford to do that. You should relax and enjoy it while you can! X

Buffythedebtslayer

I agree with everything hiddenshadows said, with some add ons.

you could EASILY charge more for the crafts you make and you know things like wreaths at Christmas go well.

I have to say from my point of view having given up my second job I am far more careful with money and am not wasting so much time or money or being so stressed by all the running around. I am not so worried about every little thing and constantly playing catch up.

I am now aiming for the simple life. easy weekly cooking minimal "stuff" and give myself lots of time.

anyhow my love, good luck with next door XXXXXX