Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

abba1772

With childminding your house isn't you're own, parents are more of a problem than the kids and trying the get money ourpt of some parents is a nightmare which I'm having to deal with at the moment xx

StressedSteph

kelpie35 wrote: »

I honestly think you should go with your FINAL option.

You are doing a grand job. You have to be admired for your strength and dedication to your family.

Please don't beat yourself up.

I know that it is a terrible struggle for you at the moment, but you will look back on this time as a steep learning curve. It will have shown your family that you are a strong, loving and kind person. I am sure they will and do appreciate all you do for them.

Take care

Hi Kelpie,

Thanks for taking the time to read my essay / outpouring .

I sometimes think I just like to torment myself trying to do something that just isn't really possible. Maybe I should just be glad to bring in the odd extra here and there and stop pressurising myself.

Thanks for all your kind words xxx

StressedSteph

hiddenshadow wrote: »

I would lean towards option 5 with a bit of 3 and 4 mixed in.

Crafts - I would count this purely as BONUS MONEY. Do you enjoy any particular craft over others? I'm mostly a knitter, but making myself anything larger than gloves/hat (done and done) takes forever. There are a lot of patterns for baby/kids clothes, but as I don't have kids I don't have any need to make them. I have thought about finding patterns that look interesting from a knitting perspective (e.g. I'd enjoy doing them as a hobby) and then see if they'll sell on Etsy/somewhere. As long as you count the supplies in your fun money (my allowance is primarily taken up by yarn purchases!) then any money you make from selling something is 100% "profit". And if you stick with things that you'd like making, and don't worry so much about turning it into a money-spinner, you're more likely to stick with it and make more things (with less stress), rather than trying to build/keep up with high demand for things you only make for the income.

Massage/spa - I would also count this as BONUS MONEY, but see if you can get a bit more structure. Can you ask the spa what sort of schedule works best for them? They've been in business for a few months so must have a sense of what treatments are in most demand, what days/times are best for their clients, etc. Rather than coming to them with a negative "I want business but can only work X-Y time", can you suggest a business opportunity to them? "If you were to offer a child-minder at the spa, you'd bring in more business and I'd be able to do treatments anytime". Perhaps that's not in their business plan/not feasible for them financially, but you never know until you ask.

Also, on the self-esteem front, can you ask for some sort of performance review? Sit down with the boss and find out what sort of feedback he's gotten overall from the customers - see if he has any suggestions for other things you could add to your treatment (like the music he suggested originally), or other treatments you might train in to add to your repertoire. If he has nothing but good things to say about your treatments, then ask what can be done to step up the amount of them (see above re: scheduling). And if he has any constructive criticism, then you know what to work on for the future.

SAHM/smallholding - I would view this as SAVINGS - can you bulk cook meals to reduce on monthly food spends? (I've been looking into once-a-month cooking, but have yet to bite the bullet, but it's meant to reduce food spend/cooking time/shopping frequency.) Can you increase the amount of meat/veg you grow yourselves to save money? Any other ways you can reduce spending? (I've noticed a lot of things are more expensive if they're more convenient, a la the old "time is money" adage, can you flip this around so that you benefit by having more time to do something so that it saves money?)

You're doing really well with what you've got to work with, try not to beat yourself up too much! Personally I've found it really helpful to try and break myself out of a negative thought cycle by coming up with just a few things (however small) that are positive. Today, I got in to work early, I'm working from home tomorrow so no commute (pre-paid so no money savings, but at least I save time!), and we've got plenty of food (which is good as our grocery budget is down to £11.09 for the rest of the month!).

Hi hiddenShadow

Thank you sooo much for taking the time to do such a great reply. Love your ideas, except maybe the massage one - Not sure I could cope with the "Performance review" critique :eek:

The smallholding is a good money saver eventually when all the lamb & pork to into the freezer, I hardly ever buy any meat.

I like your idea about trying to break the negative thought cycle. I have tormented myself the last few months with how I can bring in a decent part-time wage, but with not many skills my choices are limited.

Thanks so much for helping me xx

StressedSteph

fern44 wrote: »

Hi Steph
Non of anyones business but I am assuming you are a partner in your husbands business because it has tax advantages ?
if you got a job you would lose this
it also sound as if you do all the paper work ?
Christmas is coming so you will soon be making wreaths ?Now is the time to collect cones etc before it gets too wet
have a look at making wreaths that are just made out of things that will keep ie no fresh greenery you can always add greenery at the last minute .make grave pots, baskets and table arrangements the are quick and easy and sell well. Sell from home do you have anywhere you could possible set up as a little shop or even a little stall ? for your wreaths etc As I have said before every £1 you earn cash is worth £2 because you have not taken that £1 out of the bank. do you have any fruit you could sell apples and damsons and plums sell well round here, eggs also, sometimes people even just put an honesty box (nailed down!) If it wasn't for the debt you would be fine you have proved you can sort it out once the debt is gone you will be able to save and that should be in less than a year x

Hi Fern,

Thanks for replying, you do have a VERY good point - I do offset my tax allowance against hubbys accounts as I do all the correspondence, invoicing, estimates, phone calls, end of year reports etc, so yes anything I earn will be fully taxed.

I offset about 6.5k against hubbys business as this is about the hours that I work for him per year, the rest goes into all the bits I have earn through the year, massage, crafts, wreaths cleaning etc.

Thankfully I haven't broken the tax allowance threshold yet but if I got a more consistent job then it definitely would.

I guess there is also Tax credits to take into account as well.

None of the above is a reason to not go out to work, but I guess due to the children I could never get a 40 hour a week job so it would be a gamble as to whether I was actually making myself worse off.

Hmmmmmm I must remember this when I beat myself up again.

I like your idea about the different things to make, especially table centres. I might invest in a couple of candles and make a natural table centre and see how they go being sold next to my wreaths this year.

Thank you sooo much xx

StressedSteph

mummytogirls wrote: »

Hi Steph,

I think you defo need to embrace your current role in the house. You don't seem to have the support network to help you if kids are ill etc and if you have clients or another job. Me and DH struggle for help when girls are unwell and our families live 2 miles away!

Childminding... I know a couple and the amount of paperwork seems a lot and they seem to struggle to keep up. I personally would send my children to someone like you with the holding etc (my childminder was very similar as I wanted that kind of environment for my children). That said there is no way I could have other kids in my house all the time :rotfl:. My own girls touching windows stresses me out enough ha!!!

Hope this helps x

Hi MTG

Thanks for replying,

I am becoming less enthused about the child minding idea, I also don't want to end up costing us money with alteration we need to do to please Ofsted. We currently do not have a front gate on our drive and its a wide one. It only opens up onto a no-through lane, but tractors do zoom up and down so quite a few improvements needed here before its safe for other peoples toddlers.

xxxx

Moneywhizz wrote: »

I think you should make the most of this time at home with your kids,while making some extra money through the things you already do ie cleaning, working at the spa, making wreaths, etc. you probably don't realise just how much you bring in with all these sidelines.

That doesn't mean that you will have to settle for this at a later time, when your children are older and more independent, you are debt free, and can possibly save money to do some retraining for a career that you would enjoy.

Lots of people would love to be stay at home mums but just can't afford to do that. You should relax and enjoy it while you can! X

Hi Moneywhizz

Thanks for replying.

Hehe we can't afford for me to be a SAHM either, but unfortunately we have no choice atm, I wish things were different but then like you say I might well be sat at work wishing I could be at home .

Have the feeling maybe I should be abit more grateful

I guess my main role is being a frugal as possible as I have the spare time to cook from scratch, search for the bargains etc,.

thanks loads xxx

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I agree with everything hiddenshadows said, with some add ons.

you could EASILY charge more for the crafts you make and you know things like wreaths at Christmas go well.

I have to say from my point of view having given up my second job I am far more careful with money and am not wasting so much time or money or being so stressed by all the running around. I am not so worried about every little thing and constantly playing catch up.

I am now aiming for the simple life. easy weekly cooking minimal "stuff" and give myself lots of time.

anyhow my love, good luck with next door XXXXXX

Hi Buffy,

Thanks for posting.

Yes I should do some more work on my crafts really and stick them on Etsy and see how they go.

Glad to hear you are putting less pressure on yourself nowadays after dropping the extra job.

Not heard anything from next door yet, hopefully soon x

StressedSteph

abba1772 wrote: »

With childminding your house isn't you're own, parents are more of a problem than the kids and trying the get money ourpt of some parents is a nightmare which I'm having to deal with at the moment xx

Hi abba

Thanks for replying,

Hmm what seemed like a great solution at the beginning of the week now makes me less certain.

I have read up a lot more on it and I didn't realise you had to have Ofsted checks :eek:.

Sooo many hoops to jump through and I am not that certain our garden is very safe, then the thought of filling the house with toddler toys again fills me with dread.

:rotfl: I couldn't be more changeable, a think I have a new career each week at the moment.

StressedSteph

Morning all

Sorry I have clogged up my diary with all the replies but you were all so amazing and helpful, taking time to write big replies to my dilemma that I felt I had to give each one a reply.

So it seems I should embrace being at home and just potter doing the crafts and stick them on my website and see how they go.

I need to make sure I do not spend 20 hours making something to sell it for £5. That is slightly the mistake I made last time and it just didn't make sense.

Off to hoover some carpets now....and maybe a sneaky Pinterest browse over a coffee afterwards - research purposes of course

hiddenshadow

StressedSteph wrote: »

Hi hiddenShadow

Thank you sooo much for taking the time to do such a great reply. Love your ideas, except maybe the massage one - Not sure I could cope with the "Performance review" critique :eek:

Sorry, too many years spent in corporation-land. Anyway, it doesn't have to be formal, I'd just ask if the owner(s) have time to chat for 20min after a treatment and see if you can get a sense of where you fit in their business. If you're a key part of it but it's just slow during the autumn/winter/whatever months, then you know that for planning your availability/income. If it would really help them if you learned how to do treatment X and then they could commit to giving you a certain number of treatments/week, then that's less risk you take in pursuing that.

StressedSteph

hiddenshadow wrote: »

Sorry, too many years spent in corporation-land. Anyway, it doesn't have to be formal, I'd just ask if the owner(s) have time to chat for 20min after a treatment and see if you can get a sense of where you fit in their business. If you're a key part of it but it's just slow during the autumn/winter/whatever months, then you know that for planning your availability/income. If it would really help them if you learned how to do treatment X and then they could commit to giving you a certain number of treatments/week, then that's less risk you take in pursuing that.

Hi Hiddenshadow

Your ideas a very good, I really should approach them again to find out why no business is coming my way. I think my last treatment for them was probably Late June / July .

Just abit nervous as its been so long with no contact, I expect they think /hope I have just gone away :)

xxx

StressedSteph

Morning Monday.

Been a busy old weekend, I feel rubbish about myself last week because I just couldn't get going and I feel like I didn't achieve anything.

the house got tidied, the dinner was prepared and cooked and all the washing done, but I feel like I should set myself tasks on top of that to get done each day/week, otherwise I am never advancing anywhere.

My normal Friday cleaning job got put back to today as some holiday guest were staying for 10 days, so I am off to work in about 10 minutes. Will probably be home at 1ish, so apart from preparing dinner and tidying around that will be today dealt with.

I do need to structure the rest of my week though, so I don't just bimble

Going to have a think whilst I am cleaning four bathrooms :eek: this morning what tasks I would like to achieve.

Some ideas that spring to mind are as follows:

*Do a trip to the dump with rubbish that is collecting up.
* Finish tidying up the veg plot for winter
* Clean out the birds
* Tidy up the patio area (buy some weed killer)

If am honest that is probably enough for one week, sure I have loads of other things that need doing but I need to space that out through the week now in bite sized chunks so I actually get it done.

Its so hard to be strict with your time when you are on your own at home . I have no willpower.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I am off to work now, speak soon