Debt free by 40 -- 19 Months and counting

Buffythedebtslayer

invariably people who are that rude and judgemental know sod all about the child they are speaking of.


I am too tired to write more Steph but it angers me hugely that you have been criticised so WRONGLY.


Working Dad and Mum who is around a bit more than him is way many people are brought up. A few one off observations in difficult social situations (ie at school) is no way to pass bloody judgement.


You can ONLY go from where the child is at as a teacher. The whys and wherefores are a whole different ball game.


Please don't take it to heart.


PM me if you want educated related BS to kick them into touch with.


XXX

tootallulah

Steph, steam is emerging from all orifices. Do take up Buffy's offer and I would write to the SENCO pointing out how demotivating and discouraging her words are, and what does she suggest to help your son rather than cod psychologise your family.

Really, honestly, cheeky mare, stand up for yourself and your lovely family who are so lucky to have a very hard working Mum and Dad who are both committed, capable and loving parents. As you can tell I am incensed on your behalf!

StressedSteph

Thank you so much ladies for your kind words. I still feel terrible and such a failure but slightly calmer about it this morning.


I know we are not perfect, hubby does lose his temper sometimes rather than talking it through with Ds and I do sometimes try to over-compensate for that by trying to be the best mother possible which I guess can be classed as spoiling. Its just really upsetting to realise that you have been doing it all wrong for 10 years!!.


Dawn - The Social Stories book is what the SenCo woman plans on working through with Ds once a week to help him learn how to deal with life's situations correctly. I wonder if it would help or confuse if I tried it at home as well. It sounds like our sons are similar. xxx


I had a chat with hubby when he came home for lunch and said that school has basically blamed us for the way Ds is acting. He was pretty angry but we also had a good chat about him trying to find more time to do things with Ds, and he promised he would try his hardest to involve Ds in some of the things he has to do around the farm.


So my Guilt meter is off the scale this week and I feel pretty rubbish. Got to go to work this morning and its the last thing I feel like doing. I would much rather curl in a ball and stay in bed.


Thank you so much everyone, I am not sure I have the energy to make complaints, I know the school have Ds's best interests at heart and they seem to be trying hard to help him. I am just super sensitive and can find a personal criticism when there isn't one meant, so when I get it face on it is abit tough to deal with.


I will get over it. You would think at nearly 40 I would have grown a thicker skin by now.


Will post a more relevant financial update later after work.


Love you all xxxx

lhead123

Aww That's rubbish steph. What a crappy woman - surely she only hears things from your son's point of view so she doesn't have the full picture?! Grrrrr

I hope you can get out in the sunshine today and let the wind blow away your worries for a while xx

StressedSteph

Thanks Lhead, I feel abit better this afternoon, sometimes having to go out and paste on a smile actually ends up doing you good, otherwise I would have wallowed in my self-pity at home all day.


I am feeling more positive because I know my son has issues, but he is a kind natured sweet boy who is very sensitive, and he has mostly likely been saying how dad is always telling him off and never does anything fun with him. All of this is mostly to do with the battle against debt we have had as hubby never gets to come on our camping trips etc as he always HAS to work. Yes he could do more with Ds when he is at home but hubby has also been building an extension on the house so he is often tired and cranky and if Ds plays up hubby steps in to tell him off.


Hopefully hubby will try to make abit of spare time to do some positive things with Ds, but if I am honest my childhood was very similar. Mum did everything and dad read the newspaper .


I am not overly soft with my children, ds often gets his Xbox cable confiscated if he misbehaves, they have to do homework before they are allowed on any electronics, bed is strictly 8pm, they have to keep their bedrooms tidied etc.


I have decided not to feel like a rubbish parent, how the hell can she know anything about what goes on in our family, apart from the odd over exaggerated comments from a 10 year old.
Ds always feels hard done by, even though he doesn't particularly want for anything, so he is going to slant his complaints towards how unfair life is, it isn't exactly a balanced view.


Oh well, just keep plodding on, I can't wait until ds finishes at this school. Just one more year, next September I will just have my Dd at the school and thankfully she seems to make it through most weeks without drama so maybe I will get to stay below the radar.


Sorry I have been abit of a moaner, it just winded me a little bit and you are the only people I can off load to

kelpie35

Steph, you are not a moaner, but a very hard working mum. You are trying to achieve so much.

I think you have to keep going with what works for you. As you say, no one knows how your family function and the pressures you encounter along the way.

I always go by my gut instinct, and if it feels right for me, then so be it and sod the people who don't agree with me.

Just keep focused, you are getting there.

I do agree that when all the debt is gone, you and your family will have so much freedom to spend time and a few pennies enjoying time together.

Please take care of yourself, you are an inspiration to many people.

dawnybabes

She shouldn't be reading lots of social stories to DS. She needs to write one using his words and it should just be a few sentences and work on this one, one day at a time, when he's "got it" then she can move on. I've just done training on this.

StressedSteph

kelpie35 wrote: »

Steph, you are not a moaner, but a very hard working mum. You are trying to achieve so much.

I think you have to keep going with what works for you. As you say, no one knows how your family function and the pressures you encounter along the way.

I always go by my gut instinct, and if it feels right for me, then so be it and sod the people who don't agree with me.

Just keep focused, you are getting there.

I do agree that when all the debt is gone, you and your family will have so much freedom to spend time and a few pennies enjoying time together.

Please take care of yourself, you are an inspiration to many people.

Thanks so much for your post Kelpie.


I really appreciate it, its all been abit tough lately. But I am counting down the days till the summer holidays. Literally CANNOT WAIT!!


xxx

dawnybabes wrote: »

She shouldn't be reading lots of social stories to DS. She needs to write one using his words and it should just be a few sentences and work on this one, one day at a time, when he's "got it" then she can move on. I've just done training on this.

Hi Dawn


She didn't really go into it in any detail so I assume she is doing it the proper way.


Had ordered lots of book from Amazon so will also work with Ds at home.


I am trying my best, the only way I know how, I can only hope that is good enough xxx

StressedSteph

Afternoon all,


The end of last week and the weekend were much better, no drama's with school, just a busy but uneventful time.


Hubby and I were decorating the kitchen but we still found time for abit of family time and the kids also both had a friend over for the day so all balls juggled in the air successfully.


I have resorted to an old fashioned bribe to Ds this week. I have offered him the reward of a cinema trip this weekend IF he can have a quiet week at school. I explained that he cannot control what others do, BUT he can control how he reacts to it, and I want him to do his best to walk away, find a teacher etc etc if anything flares up.


He was very excited so I can only hope it might work :T


I did a treatment this morning so £35 banked, I have another one booked for Wednesday so it looks like the Spa have finally gotten the idea that its school hours that I need work not evenings and weekends. phew.


Finances are tight as always but everything ticking along ok.


Will check in later, off to give blood xx

dawnybabes

Brilliant that the spa have "woke" up. Have you tried posting on Facebook again offering your serves ?

If you need anything with your son or just to talk message me and I'll send my number over. Sometimes it Good just to offload :-)