ive done it again

Laurajo_2

What about a 'promises' cheque-book type thing ie

'I promise a trip to the seaside when the weather is warmer'

'I promise a pamper night every other month'

That kind of thing...or a special weekend away in the new year....doesn't have to be expensive, just a Travelodge cheap deal somewhere fun...which you can book and pay for at a later date.

Means no expenditure right now, just try and find cheap things that aren't going to cause trouble down the line.

And you can get plenty for £46 to keep an eight year old happily unwrapping presents on Xmas morning. At that age, it really is the quantity rather than the quality!

paulineb_2

Reams wrote: »

I couldn't turn my back either. Remind yourself of the addiction he has so as not to take it too personally. It's almost the drug that stole the gifts really.

Try not to spend all your CB on Monday for presents as money is tight. The present opening is all over and done with so quickly and there is more to Christmas than that. Some fun in the afternoon with silly games and time together will stay in your daughter's memory longer than what she unwrapped. By all means take her out with you after Christmas, just you and her doing something she likes, no need for more presents though as the moment will have passed.

If it's any consolation, out of my many years receiving from my parents, I only remember one gift. I remember far more the fun and walks to feed the swans on Boxing Day with Mum and Dad. Oh, and Bubble and Squeak for breakfast!

I agree, to a point

There should be a line you dont cross and flogging your 8 year old sisters presents is one of them, the drug didnt steal the gifts, he did
He had choices, we all do, whether we are sober or addicted

And of course a lot of addicts rob their families, but if I had been the OP, which Im not, the first time someone robbed me, family or not, would have been the very last time, if you know someone has stolen from you time and time again, you dont leave anything out that they might find, there has to come a point where you put your own self and the rest of the family first

I appreciate what you are saying, but its all very well saying the simple things will stay in the memory, but her presents have gone and the other siblings havent, thats the biggest issue here.

paulineb_2

Two years and stolen from the OP many times, sorry, but this was a situation waiting to happen and they really should be thankful that it was only one set of presents that ended up being stolen.

Gingernutty

ziptia wrote: »

we were not allowed contact with him until after his court appearance which has been and gone. I thought he was going to try to sort himself out. if you had a son that was sleeping rough even though he had done so much to you in the past wouldn't you take him in as a tempoary measure until the council gave him a roof over his head. I feel such a fool to think he wouldn't do this again to us

Um, no. I wouldn't.

You not a big believer in tough love there are you OP?

The drugs are everything to him. They're occupying his every waking thought, when he can score, what he can use to get more, who can he ring, who's good for a freebie and a promise of money later - nothing and no one else, not even his family, matter more than drugs.

Although, I think you've worked that one out already.

Please stop being so gullible.

duchy

I'm really sorry both for what has happened and the stupidity of a minority of posters on here.

If one good thing comes out of this let it be that you've finally realized your son is not to be trusted and you need to protect his younger siblings from his entirely self obsessed attitude. The thought that you might have discovered the theft late on Christmas Eve is too awful.

If you really feel you must help him then do it away from your other children,s home before you putting him in front of their needs and security poisons their relationship with you. He may be sick but they deserve better. They are children and are more worthy of your protection than he is.....no matter how hard that is to face as a mum. If that means sleeping rough....so be it. Perhaps he needs to hit rock bottom before he faces what he has become and starts wanting genuinely to recover. Tough love is never easy but sometimes it is needed.

I assume your son isn't invited for Christmas so why not sell any presents you have bought him to help top up your eight year olds presents.....seems only fair.

Wishing you a lovely Christmas and a new year full of good and positive things.

nuttywoman

Tough love is the only answer I`m afraid , and I know cos my son was an addict. For your own sanity you have to step away from him and don`t give him any help what so ever - even giving him food etc because your enabling him .
He will only give them up when/if he reaches rock bottom .
My son ended up on the street and it was the hardest thing for us to accept so I know how your feeling.
My son went into rehab for 9 months and is now living in assisted housing in another town .I hope you take note of what I`ve wrote , good luck xx

LannieDuck

duchy wrote: »

I assume your son isn't invited for Christmas so why not sell any presents you have bought him to help top up your eight year olds presents.....seems only fair.

This is a good idea. He chose to take his sibling's presents, so sibling can have gifts bought with money from his presents.

red_devil

ziptia wrote: »

well my 23yr old son and his girlfriend have been staying with me as they were homeless. After everything my son has done to me over the last 2 years I must be off my head as he has stolen off me many times. but this time he has hurt me so much he and his girlfriend have stolen my 8 year olds xmas presents and sold them. I am devastated as I am unable to replace them I am dreading Christmas morning. I have had them both arrested but police said if they do recover any of the gifts that I will not have them back in time as they will need to keep them as evidence. I gave them a roof over their heads even though my son has put me through hell the last few years and this is my thanks. is it wrong of me from now on to have nothing at all to do with him for the rest of my life. I feel so bad that I let them both stay here as they have now ruined Christmas for my 8 year old. drugs addiction has a lot to answer for it ruins family rips them apart. All my son and his girlfriend cares about is their next fix and have hurt an innocent child in the process. I will never forgive them for as long as I live.

you have done your best. I would withdraw for you own sanity. You have you to think about and your other son. I hope he gets a replacement present. Some people are selfish and horrible. Your older son does not deserve you.

kat360

If you can get to a home bargains they have the moshi monster 2014 annual for 99p:) I hope you have some luck with the shopping x

atrixblue.-MFR-.

OH!!!.


well people seem to be going on about tough love and it was waiting to happen etc but they may not be in this situation and not have flesh and blood on the street and that overwhelming guilty feeling when you know their sleeping rough through faults of their own and them doing things to you that can only be described as a cardinal sin to thy family through stealing, BUT he's your flesh and blood and the hope that the last punishment served its notice of never to do again to me had worked, it didn't, its happened and you shouldn't feel guilty for giving him another chance, as lets face it everyone here would have in the same situation and if they say they don't IMHO their lying ofcourse they would give their son, daughter, cousin, grandchild another chance and be gratefull for the chance.


the drugs have taken over their minds and driven them to extremes.


only now, you have to draw the line in the sand and stick to it, you thought you were helping in all honesty, but it just made yourself worse off, its time to say to yourself enough is enough.