Teenagers

fluffnutter

If boys were encouraged to be kind, caring, loving and affectionate instead of it being thought 'namby-pamby' and 'inappropriate' then a thousand marriages would be saved. You'd have a fella who could talk honestly and openly instead of clamming up at the slightest hint of 'feelings'. When the going gets tough you need to be able to talk and share, not bottle things up. It's better for your happiness, your mental well-being, your health and your relationships.

Why on earth people think that men shouldn't be loving and sensitive is beyond me.

peachyprice

I don't think there is anything wrong with it in the least, but I do think it's unusual for a 14yo boy to still do it, it's something most grow out of around the start of puberty and becoming aware of not being able to control certain parts of their anatomy.

I say, as long as it's your son initiating it make the most of it, it's sad when these childhood habits slowly fritter away and they become all grown up.

We always had an open bathroom, OH and I still do, but as our boys got older it was they who closed the door, we respected that and adjusted accordingly, same with our daughter, although I think she was a few years younger, I guess because once her brothers started doing it it became the 'norm'.

pollypenny

DS used to come into bed for a cwtch with me, OH had gone to work, until the time we moved when he was nearly 13.

He just never started it in the new house for some reason. And I have wondered if the move coincided with his 'correct' time to end it. He did have a growth spurt around then.

z.n

My DS will lean over and give me and DH a quick 'manly' hug in the morning-(but I get a peck too!!) and might flop on top of the covers at the end of the bed to join in a family conversation- but no snuggling under the covers any more. I would love him to snuggle so I could smother him (for my benefit entirely) but at 15 he needs his own space- so I follow his lead. The important thing is that he knows I am always there available for appropriate emotional support-and sometimes a quick cuddle is what he needs. I would never push him away or demand he 'man-up' ( which would be nonsense anyway as DH likes a good cuddle.)

happy35

I dont see anything wrong with it, I would enjoy it while you can as it will probably naturally end soon.

My DS was always quite cuddly and he used to come in for a cuddle with us until he was about 13 and then it phased out

He does still come in for a chat and will sit on the bed or on the chair etc but doesnt climb under the covers any more.

FBaby

DH has just come through to apoligise. He said he just ment that DS was too old and should be acting more mature. As he is very grown up in other areas I am not concerned but will take on board what he said

Thank you for coming back to tell us that. It was clearly an issue of misunderstanding. You OH had an issue with it because he considers his son is old enough to have 'grown up' behaviours and cuddling in bed with his mummy isn't rather than him implying something sexual about it, which is what made you feel bad. Thankfully, you discussed it and you know it wasn't the case.

This is a good example of why it is dangerous with these forums to assume that what a poster accuses the person they have a problem with is indeed what was meant. I bet in over half of similar posts here are of that nature, people are upset because things others have done said are being misinterpreted.

Regardless of your relationship with OH, I'm glad this matter has been resolved as it would have been horrible for you to go on thinking your OH had such thoughts about you and your son.

meritaten

Its DHs problem, not yours, and certainly not your lovely sons! Boys know when its time to stop the cuddles in bed bit. in the meantime 'enjoy' and don't let DH spoil the moment.

CATS

Hi OP,

How sad for your OH to take that attitude. My 14 year old son still gets into bed with me and dad. In fact right in the middle of us. A lot of the time in his boxer shorts. What a horrible way to see it. There is nothing wrong with your son wanting a cuddle and how lovely that he still wants to do it. I am so grateful for everyday that my teenager comes to me and dad for a cuddle, in fact about half hour ago we sat in bed cuddling, all 3 of us. OP there is nothing wrong with that, I would have words with your OH if I was you, I would be livid.

Dunroamin

I don't normally agree with people who say this sort of thing but I do wonder whether reactions would've been different if it had been a question of the OP's husband cuddling in bed with their 14 year old daughter.

balletshoes

Dunroamin wrote: »

I don't normally agree with people who say this sort of thing but I do wonder whether reactions would've been different if it had been a question of the OP's husband cuddling in bed with their 14 year old daughter.

my reaction wouldn't be any different - its clear that its the child who is instigating the cuddles, and feels comfortable doing so.