Teenagers

cloudy-day

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I expect your DH is just jealous of your closeness.

Yes he has never liked the fact that DS is close to me. My answer has always been to try and have that sort of great relationship with him himself, but obviously thats just too much effort.

double_mummy

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

when you are 8, early morning cuddles with Mummy AND Granny seems very exciting.

and when you are 7 and 4 lol just with mummy grandad and nanny :j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

balletshoes

cloudy-day wrote: »

Yes he has never liked the fact that DS is close to me. My answer has always been to try and have that sort of great relationship with him himself, but obviously thats just too much effort.

then i think its even more important, especially for your DS, that he keeps the close relationship he has with you, if he really doesn't have a great relationship with his dad.

mrcow

Don't stop what you are doing. There is nothing wrong. If your husband says anything again, just tell him to stop being so completely ridiculous.

cloudy-day

Thanks everyone. I was half expecting replies telling me how inappropriate it was......but I know in my heart it isn't.

DH and I have a 'challenging' relationship but have been getting on great lately, so this was a real bolt from the blue.

Unfortunatly both DS and I now feel awkward with our cuddles but I hope this will pass.

Thanks again.

claire16c

Make sure you tell your DS it's ok and maybe say your DH was just in a bad mood or something. Don't let him go away feeling upset all day or made to feel weird.

mountainofdebt

(putting tin hat on)

whilst I don't think there's anything wrong with what happened per se I must admit I thought 'ok' (in that whatever floats your boat sort of way)when I read the OP.

Tiddlywinks

cloudy-day wrote: »

DH thinks there are 2 ways of doing things - his way and the wrong way.

cloudy-day wrote: »

Yes he has never liked the fact that DS is close to me. My answer has always been to try and have that sort of great relationship with him himself, but obviously thats just too much effort.

From these two posts, your relationship dynamics don't seem too healthy to me.

Your OH seems jealous of the closeness you share with your son and his knee jerk reaction when he saw you was to verbally lash out.

What are you going to do about it? Hope the memory fades away? Tow the line? Adapt your behaviour so you won't cause offence?

You should be an equal partner and be able to talk about these things... If you can't then the relationship is not working...

You need a plan.

mrcow

mountainofdebt wrote: »

(putting tin hat on)

whilst I don't think there's anything wrong with what happened per se I must admit I thought 'ok' (in that whatever floats your boat sort of way)when I read the OP.

You're right, some people are tactile and some are not. I cuddle my kids all the time. It would feel weird to me if they didn't feel that they could come into my bed and cuddle me and talk about how they are doing. My eldest son is 12.

I'm sure there are plenty of others who just don't do this sort of thing.

For anyone to imply that what I do is inappropriate however, well that's just plain insulting (and a bit blinkered tbh).

There will come a time when the kids won't want to do it anymore. You shouldn't wish their lives away however, and should enjoy being as close to them as you are for as long as you can.

Kynthia

We can all have different ideas of what's usual in families but you shouldn't make others feel bad or uncomfortable about it. I know others that will use the bathroom together (teenagers brushing their teeth while dad is in the shower) and will happily wander round naked or change in front of each other. My family would no way ever do this!!!! However I would NEVER say it was wrong or inappropriate as it's not sexual it's just families being close to each other and some doing it differently to others. A few generations ago families lived in one or two rooms, slept together, changed and washed in front if each other, and that wasn't wrong!

OP, take the lead and show your son that being affectionate with you is not wrong.