'Don't have kids unless you are ready to marry' says judge

justanopinion

Can I ask a question? Those who say you can get married for about £400.

Yes, of course you can do so. However, getting married tends to be built up to be one of the most monumental points of your life. Why would you want to do something that is just in a legal way of dotting I's and crossing T's? When you can celebrate that?

I am not advocating spending a fortune, but by turning what could be construed as a business transaction into a great day? Is that so bad?

I am not getting involved in the children side, but people who spend money on a wedding appear to be derided to some extent.

Apologies if I'm way off.

lostinrates

justanopinion wrote: »

Can I ask a question? Those who say you can get married for about £400.

Yes, of course you can do so. However, getting married tends to be built up to be one of the most monumental points of your life. Why would you want to do something that is just in a legal way of dotting I's and crossing T's? When you can celebrate that?

I am not advocating spending a fortune, but by turning what could be construed as a business transaction into a great day? Is that so bad?

I am not getting involved in the children side, but people who spend money on a wedding appear to be derided to some extent.

Apologies if I'm way off.

Not derided, if they have the money fine, its great, if they don't or are sacrificing financial security over things like housing, pension planning etc, yes, I think its silly top go ott. ( as opposed to moderate celebration, not no celebration at all).


We had a no wedding wedding for personal reasons, but it was still the most monumental day of my life. And romantic. Unlike a traditional day, we woke together and got ready together, went there together.m we held hands all day, didn't have to dance with stuffy uncles, or aunts whispering to each other barely out of earshot about the in appropriacy of the union.

We celebrated in a small way with friends when we saw them....I.e raised a glass to them and apologise for no 'knees up' and they laughed and we had meals with various parts of families who were variously forgiving.

And we celebrated together, not wildly that day. I was over tired Nd he had finals to prepare for. We felt it was a legal formality of what we already felt, had already promised each other. The commitment was made in the important way, and needed no one else at all for.

My father was going to pay for a wedding,and we weren't comfortable with that for various reasons. As it worked out he got to retire a bit earlier instead.

Tiddlywinks

justanopinion wrote: »

Can I ask a question? Those who say you can get married for about £400.

Yes, of course you can do so. However, getting married tends to be built up to be one of the most monumental points of your life. Why would you want to do something that is just in a legal way of dotting I's and crossing T's? When you can celebrate that?

BUT when someone is saying that they can't get married because they can't afford it - yet go on to have children, go on holidays etc - then I'd say that qualifies as an excuse as, in reality, the costs are mostly affordable.

How many times do we hear the phrase 'it's just an expensive piece of paper'?

Dunroamin

justanopinion wrote: »

Can I ask a question? Those who say you can get married for about £400.

Yes, of course you can do so. However, getting married tends to be built up to be one of the most monumental points of your life. Why would you want to do something that is just in a legal way of dotting I's and crossing T's? When you can celebrate that?

I am not advocating spending a fortune, but by turning what could be construed as a business transaction into a great day? Is that so bad?

I am not getting involved in the children side, but people who spend money on a wedding appear to be derided to some extent.

Apologies if I'm way off.

Does a great day and a fantastic celebration need to cost a lot of money? Do you have a more wonderful day because you provide a sweet table/chocolate fountain/favours etc or is it just a pretentious waste of money?

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Does a great day and a fantastic celebration need to cost a lot of money? Do you have a more wonderful day because you provide a sweet table/chocolate fountain/favours etc or is it just a pretentious waste of money?

If couples can afford it, there's nothing wrong with having an expensive party. Its only an issue when they can't, or go into debt, or charge their guests an entrance fee etc. etc.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

If couples can afford it, there's nothing wrong with having an expensive party. Its only an issue when they can't, or go into debt, or charge their guests an entrance fee etc. etc.

I said that early on in the thread - you even thanked me!

" if you or your family are rich and can spend that sort of money without blinking"

My last point was simply that an expensive celebration isn't necessarily a better celebration.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

I said that early on in the thread - you even thanked me!

" if you or your family are rich and can spend that sort of money without blinking"

My last point was simply that an expensive celebration isn't necessarily a better celebration.

Then its a bit of a contradiction to call it a 'pretentious waste of money'. Lots of things are technically a waste of money, but harmless and don't warrant name calling.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Then its a bit of a contradiction to call it a 'pretentious waste of money'. Lots of things are technically a waste of money, but harmless and don't warrant name calling.

Where did I call anybody a name?

You're just looking to pick an argument and I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Where did I call anybody a name?

You're just looking to pick an argument and I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Pretentious is not exactly a compliment!

Whatever, good night.

Georgiegirl256

Dunroamin wrote: »

Does a great day and a fantastic celebration need to cost a lot of money? Do you have a more wonderful day because you provide a sweet table/chocolate fountain/favours etc or is it just a pretentious waste of money?

In answer to your first question, no, it doesn't need to cost a lot of money.

2nd question, IMO you wouldn't have a more wonderful day because of the sweet table etc. They are a nice added extra if you like that sort of thing, but not in any way a necessity.

3rd question, Is it just a pretentious waste of money, again, IMO yes it is.

I've been to weddings like that, and to me they just come across as trying too hard, and I've been to small or unique weddings, and they are the ones that I remember the most....and enjoyed the most.

When people say they can't afford to get married....yes you can, what you can't afford is all the extras which while they are nice, they are not an essential part of the day, and I think people forget that and concentrate more on what they think people will think of them etc, and they don't concentrate on the real meaning of marriage.

I mean, do people really remember what colour napkins or seat covers people had?