Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

Generali

vivatifosi wrote: »

My husband knows that he is always right. I know otherwise. Our relationship works well on that basis.

Mrs Generali is more philosophical about things: if I say something in the woods and there's nobody there to hear it I am still wrong.

LydiaJ

One time when DS was a toddler and I was a SAHM, I complained to LNE who was overruling me about decisions about DS. He thought carefully about it, and replied that he could perfectly well see why it would in many ways be fairer if he let me have some input to the decisions. However, he said (very politely), his first responsibility was DS's welfare, so he couldn't let any of the decisions be made wrong, so he was afraid he couldn't let me have any input.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

One time when DS was a toddler and I was a SAHM, I complained to LNE who was overruling me about decisions about DS. He thought carefully about it, and replied that he could perfectly well see why it would in many ways be fairer if he let me have some input to the decisions. However, he said (very politely), his first responsibility was DS's welfare, so he couldn't let any of the decisions be made wrong, so he was afraid he couldn't let me have any input.

:eek::eek::eek:

How did you get past this attitude to go on to have dd and remain together for some time?

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

How did you get past this attitude to go on to have dd and remain together for some time?

It takes years to get to that point. It begins with one person being a bit unreasonable and the other person being "nice" and not making a fuss about it, and it progresses imperceptibly to a point you would never have accepted if you'd been presented with the possibility at the beginning. But by that time it seems normal to you, and you have forgotten that this is not how life is supposed to be. It is not until after you are no longer in the relationship that you gradually realise how much that you put up with was completely indefensible, and how unwittingly you contributed to the situation by not standing up for yourself at the beginning when it was still subtle.

vivatifosi

LydiaJ wrote: »

One time when DS was a toddler and I was a SAHM, I complained to LNE who was overruling me about decisions about DS. He thought carefully about it, and replied that he could perfectly well see why it would in many ways be fairer if he let me have some input to the decisions. However, he said (very politely), his first responsibility was DS's welfare, so he couldn't let any of the decisions be made wrong, so he was afraid he couldn't let me have any input.

Oh Lydia I am so sorry that you had to put up with that. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but my first though was 'pompous git'.

zagubov

vivatifosi wrote: »

Oh Lydia I am so sorry that you had to put up with that. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but my first though was 'pompous git'.

Seconded! :eek:

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

Oh Lydia I am so sorry that you had to put up with that. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but my first though was 'pompous git'.

Forgive my language but

Bxgger the dead. In this case the ones to care about are living and frankly still struggling a very complex situation of loss, grief and the anger etc that goes with marriage breakdown.

Lydia, this might be unpalatable, but frankly, I'm glad the marriage broke down. I would hate you to have strait forward grief and the lack of realisation, however complex and painful it is, over someone who allowed you to let yourself be treated so when meat to be your partner in life. While it might have been straightforward I'm not sure it would have been any 'better' for you.


That's probably come out all wrong.

Doozergirl

lostinrates wrote: »

Forgive my language but

Bxgger the dead. In this case the ones to care about are living and frankly still struggling a very complex situation of loss, grief and the anger etc that goes with marriage breakdown.

Lydia, this might be unpalatable, but frankly, I'm glad the marriage broke down. I would hate you to have strait forward grief and the lack of realisation, however complex and painful it is, over someone who allowed you to let yourself be treated so when meat to be your partner in life. While it might have been straightforward I'm not sure it would have been any 'better' for you.


That's probably come out all wrong.

I think it came out as words from a true friend who cares very much and feels indignation.

Generali

Doozergirl wrote: »

I think it came out as words from a true friend who cares very much and feels indignation.

+1 my friend.

SingleSue

Better_Days wrote: »

I think we are further rather than nearer IYSWIM However, we seem to be moving inexorably east across the county with every house move, so eventually we may be NDN's !! My Dad was born and raised in Aldeburgh (when it wasn't half so posh as it is now) so it may be the irresistible pull of the North Sea.....what was they called it in the US 'Manifest Destiny'? (although that was movement West)

LIR lovely photo and excellent news that dog dog has found scrambly eggy acceptable today.

I love books and we have a bookcase full but have also given many away over the years. Now I struggle to read normal size text so I wouldn't be without my Kindle. Dithered for ages and wish I had bought one sooner. They are great when you go away too - much better than filling up luggage with lots of books.

Would you believe that I have never been to Aldeburgh! I know, not really that far down the road yet never gone (just checked, the grand total of 28 miles away)

I was born and raised approx 4 miles from where I am now, I'm actually in a village on the outskirts of the town at the a**e end of the main road.

My sister got out though, she moved firstly to Needham Market and then to Stowmarket.

It could have all been so different if I hadn't met my now ex husband, before we got together, I was planning my move to London, initially to live with my nan but love struck and that was that.