Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

Nikkster

LydiaJ wrote: »

What is this Valentines day of which you speak?

I'm lead to believe it is when people who are in a relationship celebrate the fact that they are in a relationship by buying flowers, chocolates, cards, new outfits, meals out, city breaks, tickets to concerts, perfume and numerous other things if my email inbox is anything to go by.

Having said that, this year I'm sending a record number of Valentines cards....

The usual one to my mum (a nice but silly one with a bunny on it), and three to close friends who are single and going through variously rough patches. I couldn't find any appropriate actual Valentines cards for them (they aren't 'The One' or 'My Girlfriend' and almost all the rest were just nause-inducing), so I found some nice blank cards with which to send my love.

There is still time for me to purchase more, if anyone else requires one

Nikkster

LydiaJ wrote: »

Absolutely. But why have you begun with "but"? From my perspective, you are agreeing with michaels completely.

That was me being self-centred again

You're right, I was agreeing with michaels really
Was just a bit of a caveat from my personal experience - it's not usually a binary between will communicate/ won't communicate. There is also a state in the middle where you don't communicate until it all comes out in a bit of an explosion (or implosion). It's something I have learnt to make a conscious effort not to do (probably the only good thing to come out of my last relationship).

Of course, you also need the other person to listen and be receptive (or at least have a good basis not to)...

vivatifosi

Nikkster wrote: »

Viva only posted it for lemonjelly, GBD and I are gatecrashing

I didn't know you'd be interested:o. Jelly posted a link to the Ariely books on an earlier NP thread. I read both of them and saw an earlier version of this course on Coursera, but by then it was already fully booked. So I've been waiting for it to come back up again. I haven't read his third book though.

I've just reserved copies of the three books from my local library.

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

I love guinea fowl. Being caught in a guinea jam is hilarious. But they can fly and take care of themselves quite well. I like their faces too.

I didn't know they could fly:o. I've only seen them peck, waddle and gossip.

Spirit_2

OH is out tonight with the chair of the charity he works for.

Chap celebrates his 50th birthday tomorrow - and became a first time father at new year - to twins. What a scarey thought that is.

He was showing OH an app on his phone - it is linked to a camera in the twins nursery back in Canada. As they watched, arms went into a cot and took one baby out:eek: The night nurse was going to feed one.

lostinrates

DH is home and has brough durian with him. Durian biscuits. I could smell it the minute he got in. .

Its now in a Tupperware in the utility room. I hate the stink of that stuff. I have to admit I have never tasted durian in any form.

Does it taste better than it smells?

Spirit_2

lostinrates wrote: »

DH is home and has brough durian with him. Durian biscuits. I could smell it the minute he got in. .

Its now in a Tupperware in the utility room. I hate the stink of that stuff. I have to admit I have never tasted durian in any form.

Does it taste better than it smells?

I don't know I could never get past the smell.

We were flying within Borneo and the airport had signs up that said "No Durians". I could not imagine being stuck on a plane with one.

Nikkster

lostinrates wrote: »

DH is home and has brough durian with him. Durian biscuits. I could smell it the minute he got in. .

Its now in a Tupperware in the utility room. I hate the stink of that stuff. I have to admit I have never tasted durian in any form.

Does it taste better than it smells?

Did he have the whole train carriage to himself?

I guess it probably can't taste any worse than it smells?

LydiaJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Do you feel socially isolated, Lydia? Or not socially in general, but extended family in particular?

Not extended family in particular. I have wonderful friends and have a great time when we get together, but we all have jobs and kids, so we don't see each other at all often. I TRY to meet up with at least one friend every week for some FTF contact, but it frequently has to be cancelled at the last minute because we're all juggling responsibilities. I have at least joined a group at church that I go to weekly, but apart from that and this place, it's quite easy for me to go a couple of weeks or more without speaking to another adult outside of work. For an ultra-extrovert like me, that counts as sufficiently isolating to provide a significant emotional drain. It's the thing I find hardest about not being married any more.

And yes, I know I am a lot less isolated than many people, including some on the NPT, and I don't want to make out that my circumstances are as difficult as theirs, but they are what they are.

lostinrates wrote: »

There is something I'd live to talk to NP about but cannot because it might impact upon anonymity of others close to me.:(.

I might have to come out with a convoluted story that wouldn't stand up to examination to get wisdom from nice people on a good way forward some time in next few weeks.

Yes, do that, and we'll do our best to be helpful. Warn us off if we ask questions you can't answer without dropping other people in it. Is it something you can't tell ANYONE EVER, or something you can't tell on a public forum? If it's the latter, you can always PM selected NP and see what advice you get.

lostinrates wrote: »

Yesterday when I couldn't make calls I asked DH to order a guinea fowl for me to collect tomorrow.

He's on ths phone now and told me he ordered two and that the conversation was really weird because he said to them 'you cannot really have one can you?' And they said ' cannot you?' And he said 'no it wouldn't be fair' and they laughed and said 'well, there's that'

The upshot is we're picking up two guinea fowl in the morning andi'm not sure whether they are alive or oven ready.

DH thought I meant ' as pets' and I thought 'for supper' god only knows what the people selling guinea fowl think.

I really needed a laugh tonight, and that story has done me a lot of good. Thanks lir. :beer:

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

I have a terrible history of looking after houseplants. I have two which I am killing (sadly I'm not joking - might post a pic in a bit, it will be taken down though as I don't want to be associated with such horrible plant-icide). Everything that has survived in my garden must be pretty hardy, judging by the unkempt state in the mystery pic I found from Dec 2012 (it was a student house for about 10yrs - what are the chances that any of them were keen gardeners?) so I expect a lot of it will stay as it can clearly look itself when neglected

I have a pretty dreadful history with houseplants too. But the two calamondins in my conservatory (one that I've had for 6 months and one for 18 months) are both still alive.

Nikkster wrote: »

Ooh - I've just realised... today is my 4 month-iversary of getting the keys to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my house. A whole third of a year already!

Ooh, congratulations Nikkster. :beer:

Nikkster wrote: »

That was me being self-centred again

You're right, I was agreeing with michaels really
Was just a bit of a caveat from my personal experience - it's not usually a binary between will communicate/ won't communicate. There is also a state in the middle where you don't communicate until it all comes out in a bit of an explosion (or implosion). It's something I have learnt to make a conscious effort not to do (probably the only good thing to come out of my last relationship).

Of course, you also need the other person to listen and be receptive (or at least have a good basis not to)...

Oh yes, I agree with all of that.