Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

michaels

zagubov wrote: »

There's a thread in the Arms that links to this paper about thrift culture and what it's for. Bit of food for thought in it.

Got as far as 2.2 and struggling with a piece that purports to critique a 'rewriting of history' in the media reporting of the looting and yet follows very strongly its own agenda without any attempt to be objective. Does it get any better if I make the time to read on?

SingleSue

vivatifosi wrote: »

I think a luxury items board is a great idea. For me, it's something that boils down to research, research, research; whether we're talking about flights, jewellery, a new car or something else. Perhaps uniquely with this group there's also another dimension when looking at the cheaper end of the spectrum, the very real threat of real vs fake.

Go for it H, it is a brilliant idea.

I've got expensive taste but prefer not to pay the expensive price. When we did have money, I would research, bargain, play one shop off against another to get the best deal.

Our wedding for instance, we had the full top hat and tails, horse and carriage, big sit down meal affair. All looked very posh and expensive but I managed to get it down to a fraction of the real cost but obviously, still more expensive than having a home reception, borrowed dress scenario.

We always had the best quality names and although some think that moneysaving should just be about buying the cheapest, I do think it should cover all spectrums and not just the cheap and nasty....quality does tend to last (or taste better) after all.

Plus, it would give me the opportunity to dream and indulge my eyes without spending a single penny :rotfl:

zagubov

michaels wrote: »

Got as far as 2.2 and struggling with a piece that purports to critique a 'rewriting of history' in the media reporting of the looting and yet follows very strongly its own agenda without any attempt to be objective. Does it get any better if I make the time to read on?

It seems to be suggesting (among other things) that a lot of thrift culture in the UK is motivated by middle-class nostalgia for simpler times. Might well be in my case.

GDB2222

LydiaJ wrote: »

Except that if he hates it then it's not a great job for him.

Here's hoping that in time he can get back to a place where his blessings feel real to him.

That's a very good point, but Gen is giving mixed messages. A couple of months ago, he said he was doing a project that would make $500,000 for his company. That's a seriously good project, but maybe the company don't acknowledge it? In which case, it's perhaps not so much the type of job, but the particular people he's working with. That's a much more hopeful situation to be in than someone who hates the field of work they are in. Feeling unappreciated (or being unappreciated) increases stress at work.

Generali

michaels wrote: »

Got as far as 2.2 and struggling with a piece that purports to critique a 'rewriting of history' in the media reporting of the looting and yet follows very strongly its own agenda without any attempt to be objective. Does it get any better if I make the time to read on?

Sociology departments and the Guardian comments pages are the final hiding places of Marxists in the UK.

The short version:
Rioters were re-examining the cultural politics of want while rejecting the neo-1940s austerity as the attack on the poor and disadvantaged it really is. Innit.

lostinrates

GDB2222 wrote: »

That's a very good point, but Gen is giving mixed messages. A couple of months ago, he said he was doing a project that would make $500,000 for his company. That's a seriously good project, but maybe the company don't acknowledge it? In which case, it's perhaps not so much the type of job, but the particular people he's working with. That's a much more hopeful situation to be in than someone who hates the field of work they are in. Feeling unappreciated (or being unappreciated) increases stress at work.

I thought we'd done quite well giving gen a bit of a break . He knows we are here today, tomorrow, all the time or never

But...as for a general comment on people and mixed messages.
Its possible to change your mind, often, about how you feel. I can even love and hate something a the same time though some men tell me this is a female curiosity.....( what is it with things that say what they on them, like sugar bowls, tea caddie etc.....?)

I personally thing its a bit more odd when people are totally not self contradictory. We're fallible round characters, not caricatures drawn to exemplify a point of view on a forum after all!

Generali

GDB2222 wrote: »

That's a very good point, but Gen is giving mixed messages. A couple of months ago, he said he was doing a project that would make $500,000 for his company. That's a seriously good project, but maybe the company don't acknowledge it? In which case, it's perhaps not so much the type of job, but the particular people he's working with. That's a much more hopeful situation to be in than someone who hates the field of work they are in. Feeling unappreciated (or being unappreciated) increases stress at work.

The good news is I'm feeling quite a lot better today. No idea why as I woke up at 4am and slept fitfully at best after that.

So, work.

My job, put simply, is to act as a project manager and assistant to the investment professionals at work. An example is what GDB2222 alludes to above: we were paying a third party more than half a million dollars a year to do very little, something we could do for free with the addition of a very small amount of risk and about 5 minutes work a month.

We have a project management team who never quite got round to getting started so I wrote the initial recommendation for the Investment Committee. I left them to it as it's their job and their project.

A few months later I casually ask how they got on with the project. They've done nothing further. So I roll up my sleeves and get it done. Target date is 31/12. I get it done in mid-Nov. However, because I stated a target date of 31/10 I'm the Arsenal despite the fact that I only set that date to get the laggards in our operations teams to actually do some work so we had a decent chance of completion before the end of the year. The fact that I made the company an extra $82,250 by pushing this through early has been missed entirely because I'm an Arsenal for not doing it by 31/10.

None of that bothers me. What bothers me is that all the failures that couldn't get this in and who missed their cost savings targets by a country mile are getting the plaudits and I'm the one who's a bit useless.

A prime example: 6/1/14. Another idiot we've employed says, "Right we've got to cut costs by $x million this year so we'd better have a meeting". No lady, you'd better pull you thumb out of there and get on with it because otherwise it's just like last year.

Then I come home. I tidied the kitchen at 6am. Did Mrs Generali do anything in there? Nope, it's back to being in a state. Did she put away the 3 weeks of laundry that she piled next the computer that means that I have to spend 15 minutes ironing each shirt and spend 0-5 minutes each morning looking for a pair of socks? No. Did she do anything beyond playing computer games with the kids and watching crap American TV? No. Cereal for breakfast, packet noodles for lunch and cheap restaurant for dinner. Then she'll come home and tell me how hard her life is.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

I thought we'd done quite well giving gen a bit of a break . He knows we are here today, tomorrow, all the time or never

But...as for a general comment on people and mixed messages.
Its possible to change your mind, often, about how you feel. I can even love and hate something a the same time though some men tell me this is a female curiosity.....( what is it with things that say what they on them, like sugar bowls, tea caddie etc.....?)

I personally thing its a bit more odd when people are totally not self contradictory. We're fallible round characters, not caricatures drawn to exemplify a point of view on a forum after all!

Absolutely. Especially when things are tough. I know I vary from choosing to focus on my blessings to having times when what I need is to be realistic about how difficult some things are.

My attitude to my job changes depending on how it's going, too. If the students complain about me, or I am snowed under with reports to write, I feel a lot more negative than when everything's going smoothly. Likewise my attitude to my kids, my house, my prospects for the future... I've always been like that. I think it goes along with the "not bottling stuff up" part of my personality. I feel things intensively, I process them, and I move on.

So I change my mind about how I feel, and I also change my mind about which of my many contradictory feelings I want to expose on an internet forum.

GDB2222 wrote: »

Feeling unappreciated (or being unappreciated) increases stress [STRIKE]at work[/STRIKE] in most areas of life.

Agree 100% with that. Hence my comment about the students complaining. I've edited your comment to enlarge the scope, though.

lostinrates

Generali, you do need to cut her slack while she is unwell. Just like you need to give yourself a break on expectation.


The kids are getting fed, even if its not what you'd ideally like. The laundry is getting done, if not folded. Tbh, from what I have read and seen and, as a child experienced on the otherside of metal health issues, and watched as an aunt my nieces go through, this is pretty good......from you all.


I think you deserve gold stars, both of you. Life IS tough sometimes.

Any chance of having a talking therapy so someone else can hear how hard life is for both of you right now? And help her hear you?

LydiaJ

Generali wrote: »

The good news is I'm feeling quite a lot better today.

Generali wrote: »

Then I come home. I tidied the kitchen at 6am. Did Mrs Generali do anything in there? Nope, it's back to being in a state. Did she put away the 3 weeks of laundry that she piled next the computer that means that I have to spend 15 minutes ironing each shirt and spend 0-5 minutes each morning looking for a pair of socks? No. Did she do anything beyond playing computer games with the kids and watching crap American TV? No. Cereal for breakfast, packet noodles for lunch and cheap restaurant for dinner. Then she'll come home and tell me how hard her life is.

Tidying some part of my house that immediately gets wrecked again is one of the things I find most destructive and demoralising about my own life ATM, so I am feeling for you. Wish I had something more helpful to say.