Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

lostinrates

The thing with the kids issue is infertility can strike a person who has no other health issues. His accident is no indication of anything to do with fertility.

If you are talking about an erectile issue then kids are only part of the issue, and probably not he issue, as if he creates sperm children that are biologically theirs could probably be born via IVF. But there seems no indication that this might be an issue?

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Parent driving me up the wall, trying to play mind games. I don't want to play, in fact I don't really want to go near at the moment.

OH now doesn't engage with her at all.

I'm aware that she is still suffering the loss of Dad and has health issues (painful but not life threatening) but her behaviour really is unacceptable.

Can you say away?:(

How is house hunt going?

Spirit_2

GDB2222 wrote: »

DD has been going out with a young man now for a month. He's a lovely guy, charming and intelligent. BUT, he was badly injured in a car accident 10 years ago, with some neural damage, and loss of use of his right side.

Should she be getting involved with him, and what would you advise her?

That no one can pick the right person for you. Except you. Not even your dad.

purch

Generali wrote: »

What bothers me is that all the failures that couldn't get this in and who missed their cost savings targets by a country mile are getting the plaudits and I'm the one who's a bit useless.

A prime example: 6/1/14. Another idiot we've employed says,

Unfortunately mate, dealing with idiots is part of life.

In the end you cannot control what either your superiors or fellow workers think of you, or how much they value you or your work.

All you can control is what you do, and the quality of what you produce, so as long as you are happy with your work/input then that is all you can do.

There will always be people who get too many plaudits, and others who get too little. Again that is out of your control, and allowing things you cannot control to become too important just adds stress to what is already a stressful existence.

vivatifosi

purch wrote: »

Unfortunately mate, dealing with idiots is part of life.

In the end you cannot control what either your superiors or fellow workers think of you, or how much they value you or your work.

All you can control is what you do, and the quality of what you produce, so as long as you are happy with your work/input then that is all you can do.

There will always be people who get too many plaudits, and others who get too little. Again that is out of your control, and allowing things you cannot control to become too important just adds stress to what is already a stressful existence.

Just wanted to say that's a brilliant post purch.

Generali

purch wrote: »

Unfortunately mate, dealing with idiots is part of life.

In the end you cannot control what either your superiors or fellow workers think of you, or how much they value you or your work.

All you can control is what you do, and the quality of what you produce, so as long as you are happy with your work/input then that is all you can do.

There will always be people who get too many plaudits, and others who get too little. Again that is out of your control, and allowing things you cannot control to become too important just adds stress to what is already a stressful existence.

TBH, most of the time it doesn't bother me but it adds up if I'm having a bad day.

I spent 30 minutes today explaining why we have to pay for bond prices because we don't know what 'r' is in the book our newest project manager got from the library. She confesses that she doesn't really understand the maths but can't see why we can't just price the bonds ourselves.

She is about to start interviewing fixed income portfolio managers on their investment process. Perhaps she can ask them what 'r' (the discount rate) is.

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

... behaviour really is unacceptable.

Sounds like usual grief and not having to live alone before, make all their decisions, etc....

Is she having any grief counselling? We never went down that route as [a] it was never offered and I was far too busy to look into it sibling investigated it and was advised that they don't normally bother for people her age (86) as it's expected.

PasturesNew

Spirit wrote: »

Not even your dad.

ESPECIALLY not....

PasturesNew

purch wrote: »

All you can control is what you do, and the quality of what you produce, so as long as you are happy with your work/input then that is all you can do.

This is a tricky one and one I've noticed changing in recent years. I've always worked with professionals that knew/did their job. I've gone in as a PM, everybody knows their job, they did it. If, as PM, I said "need to get that by the 7th" and then asked along the way "all OK?" they'd say if any issues, which could be sorted ... and on/by 7th, it was done.

Nowadays there seem less able/professional people in the role. Slopers, shirkers and skivers.... who will ONLY do work if you're constantly on their case. Trouble is, it's not your job to be on their case. They have a line manager (who might/might not be fully on board) .... and people get funny.

Some people call this "team working" - it's the other farquers who are the problem, not me. To me a team is people who get the job done, whatever... not a bunch of work-shy idiots.

It needs either people skills to kick the butt of their boss, who kicks their butt - or people skills that can turn round awkward people ..... neither of these are part of the job often.... so you're up against people not doing their job and their manager not doing their job .... and you can bring it up, mention it, document it, enquire, phone, email, be pleasant, be open for approach if there are issues .... but if the whiney barstewards want to dig their heels in, there's no way you can force them.

And sometimes you get the blame for the fault of the others, even though you tried and tried and tried and went out of your way to raise awareness of urgency/deadlines, through them, at meetings, in written minutes, in emails, in charts - and through their boss and your boss and your boss' boss.

Makes no difference with people who've been around too long, getting away with 20% under the bare minimum.

silvercar

lostinrates wrote: »

Can you say away?:(

How is house hunt going?

I am staying away, so all contact is by phone. That is one of the issues - how often is reasonable to visit?

House hunt is one of the issues. It is my fault that I haven't found a suitable property - mainly because what she thinks is suitable would cost twice what she wants to pay. She says she is prepared to compromise, but every compromise I have shown her (online) is rejected, so I am accused of sending her details of rubbish.

She has now decided that she may want to move to a different town, one that she did live in years ago for a short time and liked. Problem is that it is not near me or any other relative. I am not involving myself in this at all - it is a stupid choice. I have told her she needs to stay put or move near me, I can't see any benefit in going through a home move to be somewhere else with no close family.