Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

LydiaJ

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

A bit under 2 years.

Which is how long it took me to deplete my savings, live the lifestyle of a pauper for a while, realise I hated being poor, and get back into a job that paid a decent wage again.

It was a long time ago though.

Anything that costs money.

It's a long list....:)

I'd love to know what your definitions of "like a pauper" and "decent wage" are, but I'm not sure you'd want to say on here.

Because, well, most things cost money.

There are people who feel they are "financially comfortable" if they can manage, by tight budgeting, to keep their financial head above water if they eat "value" food all the time and only go out for a drink once a year, have a free holiday in a tent or staying with friends/relations, avoid any rent arrears, and run an old banger into the ground before replacing it with another old banger.

Then there are people who feel "comfortable" if they can afford to buy what they fancy to eat from the supermarket without worrying about the budget, have a takeaway every fortnight or so and a meal out every month or two, go on one budget type holiday a year, repair bits of their house that need it without going into debt, and replace their second hand car when it starts costing more to get it through the MOT than it's worth.

And there are others who would find that to be penury, and wouldn't feel comfortable without being able to afford to eat out at the best restaurants any time they felt like it, fly first class to stay in foreign hotels several times a year, redo their kitchen/bathroom/decor every 2-5 years so their house never shows wear and tear, and have a new BMW with all the trimmings every 2 years.

I imagine there are richer categories too, but my imagination doesn't stretch that far. I just wonder what level of poverty feels to you to be worse than working all the hours there are, at risk of burnout.

I've tried very hard not to phrase that as though I'm being critical of you, but without tone of voice and facial expression I'm finding it difficult. I'm really not disapproving of you, just trying to understand you, because that's one of the things I love about this thread - the opportunity to get to know and understand people who are different from me.

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

I'd love to know what your definitions of "like a pauper" and "decent wage" are

I wish any financial hardship story were automatically linked to an SOA

I'd love to get £25k, that'd be "loaded" to me... it's unlikely to happen though.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I wish any financial hardship story were automatically linked to an SOA

I agree. But I don't think Hamish's was a financial hardship story. Hamish doesn't have the victim mentality. He presents his story as about his choices, his experience of the consequences of his choices, and the different choices that he subsequently made as a result. I'm not surprised that he's now arrived in circumstances that he's satisfied with.

zagubov

To be fair a decent income to someone with kids and one without probably wouldn't compare at all. I feel I might as well heat my house by burning a furnace full of banknotes.

Also a round-the-clock job commitment must be different too when there's kids to look after.
I knew a bloke who commuted fom the east midlands to Surrey. Left home at 6AM and got home by 8PM. He never saw much of his family. We weren't surprised when he came to us to say he was looking for work closer to home. We were baffled how he managed it for the time he did.

michaels

I find it sad when people with kids see little of them because they put their jobs first. I wonder if it is a class thing, if you are used to the nanny / public / boarding school concept then you expect to devolve responsibility for them to others?

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

LydiaJ wrote: »

I'd love to know what your definitions of "like a pauper" and "decent wage" are, .

:rotfl:

Sure.

Pauper strongly resembled this....

eat "value" food all the time and only go out for a drink once a year, have a free holiday in a tent or staying with friends/relations, avoid any rent arrears, and run an old banger into the ground before replacing it with another old banger.

Decent wage at that time, many moons ago, was a lot like this....

afford to buy what they fancy to eat from the supermarket without worrying about the budget, have a takeaway every fortnight or so and a meal out every month or two, go on one budget type holiday a year, repair bits of their house that need it without going into debt, and replace their second hand car when it starts costing more to get it through the MOT than it's worth.

.....with perhaps a bit more going out and holidays, although cheaply.


And the lifestyle of today, that we love so much, is not quite this.....

able to afford to eat out at the best restaurants any time they felt like it, fly first class to stay in foreign hotels several times a year, redo their kitchen/bathroom/decor every 2-5 years so their house never shows wear and tear, and have a new BMW with all the trimmings every 2 years.

..... but if you replace the 1st class travel with economy, and the cars every 4 years instead of every two, it's about right.

Although we only change home decor every 10 or 15 years when it really does wear out.... We spend that money on other things.

So probably closest to that, but not that exactly.

I just wonder what level of poverty feels to you to be worse than working all the hours there are, at risk of burnout.

Having to think twice before buying anything I need, or holidaying anywhere we want, or eating/drinking what we want wherever we want to, or pursuing our hobbies, or just generally not enjoying life to the fullest.

We're not rich by any means.

But we're as comfortable as you'd expect from a dual professional income household, no kids, and very little debt.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

LydiaJ wrote: »

He presents his story as about his choices, his experience of the consequences of his choices, and the different choices that he subsequently made as a result. .

That's right.

I was earning good money for the time and on a career path, I left it to try something I loved doing but that paid a fraction as much, I decided it wasn't worth the sacrifices to lifestyle and went back to what I was doing before.

LydiaJ

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

:rotfl:

Sure.

Pauper strongly resembled this....

Decent wage at that time, many moons ago, was a lot like this....

.....with perhaps a bit more going out and holidays, although cheaply.

And the lifestyle of today, that we love so much, is not quite this.....

..... but if you replace the 1st class travel with economy, and the cars every 4 years instead of every two, it's about right.

Although we only change home decor every 10 or 15 years when it really does wear out.... We spend that money on other things.

So probably closest to that, but not that exactly.

Having to think twice before buying anything I need, or holidaying anywhere we want, or eating/drinking what we want wherever we want to, or pursuing our hobbies, or just generally not enjoying life to the fullest.

We're not rich by any means.

But we're as comfortable as you'd expect from a dual professional income household, no kids, and very little debt.

Thank you. I can understand that. I come across people on other boards who budget every penny, and while I admire their commitment, and would, I expect, manage to do similarly if external circumstances made it unavoidable (like Sue's caring responsibilities, for example), I wouldn't ever live that way by choice. Although I did as a student and in the year that I worked between leaving school and going to university.

Like you, I put a big value on not having to think twice about stuff. It's better for me to cut out some items altogether (like foreign holidays, for example, or eating out other than on special occasions with other people) and then to be able to be relaxed about the everyday things, than to stretch myself and then have to be careful with the small stuff.

I am as comfortable as you'd expect from a single teacher income household, two kids, and very little debt. (My half salary, widow's pensions, kids' survivors' pensions, child benefit, tax credits and widowed parent's benefit add up to approximately what I would earn if I did my current job full time, and I have lots of equity in my house thanks to the life insurance and pension "death in service" lump sum.)

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

LydiaJ wrote: »

I wouldn't ever live that way by choice.

Indeed....

I can quite happily go weeks or months without spending anything on "luxuries", but when the urge takes me I want to be able to do so without ever having to check the bank balance first.

Actually, I think that's a pretty good definition of "comfortable" for us.

Being able to do anything we would want to do (within reason) without having to think twice or check the bank balance.

Whether that is buying a case of decent wine every month or trading in a car every 4 years or booking a holiday to Australia when we feel like it, or just surprising each other with nice gifts or spontaneous city breaks to Europe on b'days or anniversaries.

There are obviously limits, but it covers everything we really need or want, and it's enough to make us happy.

lostinrates

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Indeed....

I can quite happily go weeks or months without spending anything on "luxuries", but when the urge takes me I want to be able to do so without ever having to check the bank balance first.

Actually, I think that's a pretty good definition of "comfortable" for us.

Being able to do anything we would want to do (within reason) without having to think twice or check the bank balance.

Whether that is buying a case of decent wine every month or trading in a car every 4 years or booking a holiday to Australia when we feel like it, or just surprising each other with nice gifts or spontaneous city breaks to Europe on b'days or anniversaries.

There are obviously limits, but it covers everything we really need or want, and it's enough to make us happy.

There's not enough reasonable money to cater to my purchasing wants or whims. :rotfl: but my needs are ok. Especially considering how little I put in the pot since early days.