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Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

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Comments

  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ... I'd like to add .... sex isn't important. Being close is. And I speak with authority on not getting any :)
  • michaels
    michaels Posts: 29,238 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Spirit wrote: »
    I start part time working from 27th of this month. As I have a day off on Monday this means last week was my last full time week ever.

    I will work 3 days a week in future, usually Mon-Weds.

    Put my off days on the family calendar today, with already booked holidays my working commitment in days is :

    Feb 12
    Mar 10
    Apr 13
    May 10
    June 7


    :eek::eek::eek:
    Not sure why the :eek:, for me it would be :T
    I think....
  • neverdespairgirl
    neverdespairgirl Posts: 16,501 Forumite
    PasturesNew wrote: »
    ... I'd like to add .... sex isn't important. Being close is. And I speak with authority on not getting any :)

    While, of course, there will be lots of exceptions both ways, I reckon that on the whole, women are more likely to agree with you than men.
    michaels wrote: »
    Not sure why the :eek:, for me it would be :T


    Michaels, ignoring whether you'd get paid enough for it, what would your dream job or career actually be?
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    PasturesNew wrote: »
    ... I'd like to add .... sex isn't important. Being close is. And I speak with authority on not getting any :)

    I'm not so sure. I mean, I agree that for me living without anybody to be really close to is harder than living without sex. So in that sense I agree with you as one single person (woman) to another. I also agree that within a relationship it's important to keep the closeness going even if there's some reason why the sex has to take a break for a bit.

    However, I'd like to have both, and the combination of both together is hugely more than the sum of the two parts. Also, I think that while sex isn't necessarily important for a person, it is certainly very important for a marriage. Gen and Mrs Gen's marriage already has Mrs Gen's depression and Gen's anxiety to cope with, which is more than enough of a challenge without adding any medication-induced sexual difficulties - other than for a few days at a time while experimenting to see if they can find a beta blocker that doesn't have that effect.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.     :)
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    edited 19 January 2014 at 12:59AM
    Gen (and any other NP who are finding life overwhelming) might try this questionnaire. When it says "your job" and "at work" think about all your responsibilities including at home, so that you are answering with reference to your life as a whole rather than just your paid employment.

    lir, I thought I had ticked your "welcome back" post to get included in my series of replies to three posts at a time, but it hasn't appeared. So thanks v much for thinking of me. I am OK - as in no worse than usual, although not much better either. Work is OK. One of my sixth form set is changing her maths set, which means for timetabling reasons that she needs to change her physics set too, so that'll be one fewer report to write later this term. :D No news on a new date for the inquest, and some more things have happened that probably (but not certainly) mean that the delay will be a lot longer than we thought. I am trying not to think too much about it.

    The Lemon Jelly thing seems to have got missed out too. I didn't know either. Sorry Jelly. I'm with some of the others in not really reading a lot of the music related posts on here.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.     :)
  • Nikkster
    Nikkster Posts: 6,391 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'm in awe of all the responsibilities you guys carry. I just have myself to look after and I often struggle to cope with that.
  • Generali
    Generali Posts: 36,411 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 19 January 2014 at 7:23AM
    LydiaJ wrote: »
    Gen (and any other NP who are finding life overwhelming) might try this questionnaire. When it says "your job" and "at work" think about all your responsibilities including at home, so that you are answering with reference to your life as a whole rather than just your paid employment.

    lir, I thought I had ticked your "welcome back" post to get included in my series of replies to three posts at a time, but it hasn't appeared. So thanks v much for thinking of me. I am OK - as in no worse than usual, although not much better either. Work is OK. One of my sixth form set is changing her maths set, which means for timetabling reasons that she needs to change her physics set too, so that'll be one fewer report to write later this term. :D No news on a new date for the inquest, and some more things have happened that probably (but not certainly) mean that the delay will be a lot longer than we thought. I am trying not to think too much about it.

    The Lemon Jelly thing seems to have got missed out too. I didn't know either. Sorry Jelly. I'm with some of the others in not really reading a lot of the music related posts on here.

    I got 62 on the queationnaire and I probably could have scored a fair bit more. 60-75 is the 'better go to the doctor' level.

    I'm just not coping very well at the moment.
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Generali wrote: »
    I got 62 on the queationnaire and I probably could have scored a fair bit more. 60-75 is the 'better go to the doctor' level.

    I'm just not coping very well at the moment.

    Is our overreacting not helping? :o:D Its just we care about you, and we cannot see you to make an assess ment for ourselves that way so we have to be cautious.

    I certainly do mean it. Get help just before you think you need it is better than just after, but I'm also glad you can say ' its difficult now' because sometimes for some people that's too hard.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    Generali wrote: »
    I got 62 on the queationnaire and I probably could have scored a fair bit more. 60-75 is the 'better go to the doctor' level.

    I'm just not coping very well at the moment.

    I think you are coping astonishingly well. There is nothing wrong with your ability to cope. What is wrong is that you have more stuff to cope with than any one human being can manage for more than a little while, and it's been going on for ages, with no end in sight.

    I get scores in the low 60s too. It's not a pleasant way to live. I'm not currently dealing with anything like as much as you are, but I depleted myself so badly when my plate was fuller that now I've got a more normal load my capacity to bounce back isn't working properly. I wish I had got help earlier. Please don't make the same mistake.

    (Apologies for hopelessly mixed metaphor.)
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.     :)
  • Generali
    Generali Posts: 36,411 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Ok, so here's the plan of attack:

    1. Speak to my boss. Before Xmas she was talking a out the possibility of a secondment. A job that's a bit less intense might help. Also ask about the possibility of doing 3-4 days a week instead of 5 to allow me some 'me time'. I basically get none of this right now.
    2. HR run the advice for people losing the plot line (I think the name might have changed now). I will call that and see what they can do for me.
    3. Depending on the outcome of #2, I might also go to the medical centre in the city. There's a small cost but it's not much.

    Thoughts...?
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