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Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People
Comments
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We have given up on the cheap masking tape as a false economy and buy the stuff you can leave on long term as we never get round to do the painting within the suggested 12/24 hours - but it sounds like you have already chosen specific masking tape?lostinrates wrote: »What the bleep is wrong with me that I cannot get delicate surfaces masking tape to be delicate enough?
It rips my paint off:(.
I'm trying to do trendy teracotta pink stripes and I'm getting ...oh....Hanson, maybe I should roll with the worn a way Greek pottery look.....going back for another look......
,......
No, just looks pants.I think....0 -
Doozergirl wrote: »The best therapy we could have had was our Christmas holiday. All inclusive, kids club type affair. Didn't lift a finger to housework and didn't have to entertain. I don't think it would have been too different alone, if I were alone.
There were no break-throughs, just a quiet and a sense of calm that hadn't existed in our house for a very long time. It has come back with us, keeping it will be tough when the memory fades but I presently feel able deal with this year in a way that I definitely have not done in a while.
Sounds delightful. So glad it is having a lasting effect for you.
Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean here, although I have a feeling I would agree with it if I did. Could you go into more detail about what workforce opportunity you think there is, and how you think the working system should change?
Sorry, flippertyjibbeting.
I think holiday entitlement in general is pants and inflexible. I see why. And that money is king and in general I'm all for that and the capitalist economy etc, but many because I'm for people, and for people, we need sometimes to have a different structure built in.
E.g. Last year DH went to the doctor and was withering on about psoriasis whereas actually he and I knew really he was there about stress. So did the doctor. Just DH being to.d the doctor would sign him off for a couple of weeks rendered that unnecessary. (He started the burn out quiz this morning but didn't finish it and looked like score was going to be low in fact). But a key part of dh's sanity is he knows I'm here when he needs me. For working couples to try and get time off together can be hellish. IMO it can be unsafe for emotions to work in this way.
Big companies, not small ones, don't usually work at such low ,margins of profit that more flexibility couldn't be given for better mental health provision.
That burnout is becoming a part of our modern lexicon when we have so much less physical drudgery in our society is pretty damning indictment upon us.
I very strongly feel the way the work hours /work life balance thing is approach is wrong (and yes, I know DH has opted out so its not relevant to us anyway).
I don't know what the answer is, but there must be one. I dopn't think purely more holiday time is it.....but it might be a start. I think mental health days might be something.....
Lydia I have a feeling we have discussed holidays for single parents here before with you in mind. Would you consider holidays with others?0 -
We have given up on the cheap masking tape as a false economy and buy the stuff you can leave on long term as we never get round to do the painting within the suggested 12/24 hours - but it sounds like you have already chosen specific masking tape?
Yes I have the special decorating fragile surfaces one.... But its not worked. Grrrr.
Doozer boy was here this morning.. Fixed a hole, made another . Both planned.
Big dog acted as of she had never seen him before and was going to kill him.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Sorry, flippertyjibbeting.
I think holiday entitlement in general is pants and inflexible. I see why. And that money is king and in general I'm all for that and the capitalist economy etc, but many because I'm for people, and for people, we need sometimes to have a different structure built in.
E.g. Last year DH went to the doctor and was withering on about psoriasis whereas actually he and I knew really he was there about stress. So did the doctor. Just DH being to.d the doctor would sign him off for a couple of weeks rendered that unnecessary. (He started the burn out quiz this morning but didn't finish it and looked like score was going to be low in fact). But a key part of dh's sanity is he knows I'm here when he needs me. For working couples to try and get time off together can be hellish. IMO it can be unsafe for emotions to work in this way.
Big companies, not small ones, don't usually work at such low ,margins of profit that more flexibility couldn't be given for better mental health provision.
That burnout is becoming a part of our modern lexicon when we have so much less physical drudgery in our society is pretty damning indictment upon us.
I very strongly feel the way the work hours /work life balance thing is approach is wrong (and yes, I know DH has opted out so its not relevant to us anyway).
I don't know what the answer is, but there must be one. I dopn't think purely more holiday time is it.....but it might be a start. I think mental health days might be something.....
Lydia I have a feeling we have discussed holidays for single parents here before with you in mind. Would you consider holidays with others?
I was right! I do agree now I know what you were saying.
I will probably do a single parent holiday (or maybe just one for families) once (a) DS is ready to join in with stuff for his age group or else old enough to be allowed to opt out of such things and (b) I can afford it. I imagine that will probably be after the inquest and litigation are over. We did go to New Wine last summer and were put next to a bunch of very friendly families from our church, and emotionally it did me a lot of good. We'll be going again this summer too, and DS is going to be helping with one of the venues so he doesn't have to go to the young people's activities, which aren't his cup of tea. Caravanning isn't the most restful of ways to spend a holiday, but I opted out of the self-catering and we just ate ready-to-grab stuff for breakfast and lunch and ate out at the food court in the evenings, which made it a lot easier than in previous years.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Yes I have the special decorating fragile surfaces one.... But its not worked. Grrrr.
Is the tape ripping the paint edge off that you have just painted? Or is it ripping off the paint that you previously painted that you are trying to protect?No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
Holidays are not always restful times, for me, it's the same poo just a different setting.
I have to do the self catering, caravan thing. There is no money to do otherwise apart from maybe once during the holiday. The boys do not take part in any of the organised activities, so they are around me 24/7.
That said, the pace does reduce a little, instead of going at 100mph the whole time, it eases back to 60mph as there are no appointments or meetings to attend and we can avoid a few more of the stressful situations if things are getting just a little eek for youngest. End result is I do come home feeling slightly more unwound than before we went and that is enough to keep me going for the next year.
Gen - I am in awe at your ability to talk about things like you have, I have never been able to usually because I worry about people thinking I am doing poor me and attention seeking (I don't think that of you by the way) and subsequently, by the time I seek advice, things have generally gone beyond needing just a little support.
Your way is most def the best way, bottling up feelings is a recipe for disaster!We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
Is the tape ripping the paint edge off that you have just painted? Or is it ripping off the paint that you previously painted that you are trying to protect?
The second one.
I'm trying to paint very thin strips of colour, so painting a band of colour, leaving it to dry then taping it, painting the other side and removing.......then the first colour comes off. Grrrr.
I'm going to try touching it up with an eyeshadow brush at the end of the job...so sometime in summer
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1. Speak to my boss. Before Xmas she was talking a out the possibility of a secondment. A job that's a bit less intense might help. Also ask about the possibility of doing 3-4 days a week instead of 5 to allow me some 'me time'. I basically get none of this right now. Pros and cons about moving and introducing another change - could you stay put and reduce to part time for a while? The moving jobs seems to be dealing with symptom not the cause and if it is home/health that is the cause maybe you start with that, and get medical advice if a temporary move to a less demanding role whilst you recover would help/speed your recovery.Ok, so here's the plan of attack:
1. Speak to my boss. Before Xmas she was talking a out the possibility of a secondment. A job that's a bit less intense might help. Also ask about the possibility of doing 3-4 days a week instead of 5 to allow me some 'me time'. I basically get none of this right now.
2. HR run the advice for people losing the plot line (I think the name might have changed now). I will call that and see what they can do for me.
3. Depending on the outcome of #2, I might also go to the medical centre in the city. There's a small cost but it's not much.
Thoughts...?
2. HR run the advice for people losing the plot line (I think the name might have changed now). I will call that and see what they can do for me. Usually called an employee assistance programme. May offer a range of advisory services including counselling - could be a telephone counselling service.may triage and refer to face to face counselling or to an Occupational Health service if they assess you as quite poorly
3. Depending on the outcome of #2, I might also go to the medical centre in the city. There's a small cost but it's not much. Is this a centre where a doctor knows you? If possible could you go somewhere where they have a more holistic view of you (and your current family situation), your own health records (as you have talked about prior health issues) and an interest in your long term health?0 -
Interesting. I didn't know you could take beta blockers intermittently like that.
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Both myself and OH have had beta blockers prescribed like this for anxiety from (different) GPs.
Taken a prescription at regular intervals, then reducing intervals then diminishing to treat symptoms as required. Then stopped. Both of us had propanalol.
OH has not had them for about 10 years but they helped him manage a very difficult time - when being the heroic husband, father and provider was taking its toll and he needed to cut himself some slack as he was suffering.
I now take beta blockers as part of my daily handful of meds (not for anxiety).0
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