Changing digs and coming out of my cave... for a wee while atleast :)

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Hi El, glad your holiday has given you time to regroup, rest and come back fighting. It's also wrong of your employer to expect reasons why you can't do OT. My advice would be to say no, then stop talking and no filling awkward silences. You and I both know that will work

Good luck with your finance meetings :T

Tilly x x

elantan

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Hi El, glad your holiday has given you time to regroup, rest and come back fighting. It's also wrong of your employer to expect reasons why you can't do OT. My advice would be to say no, then stop talking and no filling awkward silences. You and I both know that will work

Good luck with your finance meetings :T

Tilly x x

thanks Tilly, yes the power of silence can be very strong if used right, i totally agree and do hate giving reasons, i try my hardest not to and shouldnt have given any today either, but in a way i am glad i did as it proved yet again ( as if i needed proof though tbh ) that certain people in my company just do not care about their staff.

Im quite excited about the finance meetings, i have a big wipe board in the kitchen (bought to help me be organised when i go to uni) and every week it has finance meeting written in bold so that we know it has to happen, we made sure we did one last weekend so that we know where we stand and can discuss future plans, with going to uni there will be fewer holidays till i am qualified and have found a job, but then there should be better opportunities to pay off the visa and the mortgage, and to improve the savings

Butti

elantan wrote: »

thanks Tilly, yes the power of silence can be very strong if used right, i totally agree and do hate giving reasons, i try my hardest not to and shouldnt have given any today either, but in a way i am glad i did as it proved yet again ( as if i needed proof though tbh ) that certain people in my company just do not care about their staff.

Im quite excited about the finance meetings, i have a big wipe board in the kitchen (bought to help me be organised when i go to uni) and every week it has finance meeting written in bold so that we know it has to happen, we made sure we did one last weekend so that we know where we stand and can discuss future plans, with going to uni there will be fewer holidays till i am qualified and have found a job, but then there should be better opportunities to pay off the visa and the mortgage, and to improve the savings

It all sounds great apart from that bit.
1. You are too good for the management
2. Your health is more important than their incompetence
3. Remember the broken record;
"No"........ "No".......... "No"
Silence is golden....it's also very hard to argue with.

or

"No...my health is too important"
"No...have you forgotten I had an ITA (I hope that's right and not just the number plate for Italy or Intended Time of Arrival!)"
"No...my health is too important"
"No...have you forgotten I had an ITA
"No...my health is too important"
"No...have you forgotten I had an ITA
"No...my health is too important"
"No...have you forgotten I had an ITA

Repeat ad infinitum!

B xxx

beanielou

wow, 60 hours is a lot of OT.

Habibiboo

:wave:

Elantan! Glad you had a fabulous holiday and that it's cleared a few cobwebs and thrown work into sharp focus, but from a comfortable distance!

Good on you for standing your ground with work, but don't ever let them make you feel you have to justify your reasons to them or that your reasons aren't "good enough" ~ your reasons are good enough for you, hell if they weren't you'd be taking the OT and the money instead, but you've rightly decided that time and your health hold more value to you ... that can never be a wrong decision and you don't have to justify it. Go Elantan!

It made me smile your comment about working with OH in the garden to spend a bit more time together ... it's the kind of thing we do to just keep that holiday closeness going before real life kicks back in. Hope you can hang on to it for as long as poss!

Any news from uni?

ZTD

elantan wrote: »

thanks Tilly, yes the power of silence can be very strong if used right, i totally agree and do hate giving reasons, i try my hardest not to and shouldnt have given any today either,

That's right. You don't need to give reasons.

"Oh dear. I find I'm watching television that night."

elantan wrote: »

but in a way i am glad i did as it proved yet again ( as if i needed proof though tbh ) that certain people in my company just do not care about their staff.

You don't need proof. It's proven - let it go.

elantan

Thanks everyone

I think it's just so easy for me to be beaten down and give in sometimes ... This latest " issue" has went on for well over a year now and I think I just got to the point of agreeing as it was easier, this is wrong of me and something I need to ensure I don't allow to happen again

But to your right, whilst I hadn't forgotten I've had a TIA ... I think my work don't care about the fact I have, I need to once again re assert myself with this should I need to... Generally when I'm texted/ phoned to do overtime my answer is always " no, but I hope you get it covered" a I also hate saying " no sorry" why should I apologise ? I think today the person was just so desperate hence the 1 hour 40 min phone call .

Have started using the wipe board for money spent as well so that I can update and keep an eye on things

Tonight's dinner was reduced meatballs in reduced tinned tomatoes and reduced tomato paste and reduced salsa much cheapness

Butti

I'm sorry (OMG you've got me doing it!) a 1 hour 40 minute call isn't a request it's harassment.

Karmacat

Butti wrote: »

a 1 hour 40 minute call isn't a request it's harassment.

Absolutely! El, thats wrong, really wrong. If you can't cope with saying 'thanks, I'm putting the phone down now' then what you can do is knock on the table, and say, 'ooh, there's a knock at the door, I have to go' - and don't answer when they ring again. Use 1471 to check who's called, or put the answer phone on or something, but to have to refuse them for that length of time, its a real waste of your day

mizmir

Absolutely right - that is harassment. You don't have to give reasons. "No I'm sorry I can't" should be enough.

Well done on the renewed enthusiasm - like the meetings - we are sort of doing that too - certainly talking more about things and now have established that nothing gets bought until we have the money to pay for it. Is working so far - almost a month!

Have you come across YNAB? I have to say it has changed my financial life! I admit I am a sucker for gadgets and apps but this is really helpful as it budgets with the money you actually have. I keep a spreadsheet of a desired budget then add to "pots" in YNAB when I get money in. I also can add transactions when stuff goes out. So now I know immediately if there is money in a particular budget for a purchase. Have the app too so have it to hand always. Love it!