Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

liltdiddylilt

Hopefuljoy ...Just Wow. Your story is incredible. And well done to you on getting yourself and your children out of that situation and into your new life. It sounds like both are doing brilliantly! Have you ever heard from ex, or about him, out of interest?

I have re-read my posts, especially the very first one. I remember exactly what I was going through the day I sat down and wrote that. I was a broken wreck. I've built myself up, over the course of the last year, into someone so self-sufficient I genuinely do not need him. In less than a week it will be 1 year since Him decided he wanted out. And I had to be the one to tell myself just by looking at him because he didn't have the balls honestly. Since breaking up with myself for him, I have become a seriously strong person. There isn't much I couldn't take on before. Life has not been all rainbows. But now, I feel a little bit titanium. That song came out at the time last year when I needed it most. "You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium".

I am not selling myself short by sticking this out. It deserves that chance. It is more now like it was for the first four years before Jelly came along. That kind of pressure, a new baby, moving in together, Him changing jobs, money issues... It took it's toll on me. So how must it have been for him, 5 years younger than I? I know the person he has been, and can be. And he is a lot closer to being that person these days. Most importantly he appreciates the things that I do everyday, which he always took for granted.

Mostly, I know that if he decides he wants out again, then that will be our decision, instantly. There will be no going back. I never want to go through the last year again in my life. I would rather be 100% alone, and without him. I know I can do it, with my eyes closed. And be happy. And I think that he knows that. When he is here, days that he isn't normally, I find it very hard to give up my time to do stuff with him. I am cleaning, cooking, playing with jelly, getting my chance to play on my laptop. That is what worries me about the move back in. I need my space these days. And he isn't ok with that.

No matter what happens now, I can always tell Jelly that I did my best to make this work.

I did this in a post on it's own. It needs a full stop and no chit-chat. My choice has been made and slowly it is coming to be the best choice. And if it doesn't continue, I am ok with that. So my life is good.

Onto the rest of it xx

giblet1979

Well said lovely lady - couldn't wish more that it works out for you; whatever is for the best will be, and I know that you'll be (more than) ok xxx

liltdiddylilt

Evening peeps!

Kettle boiled, tea made, jumper and trackies on. Three daddy longlegs dispatched (they kept me awake most of last night :mad:) out of the window. So...

First things first:

SuperSaver Oats in with mince?!?! Amounts please?? How much mince to how many oats?! I didn't read this in your earlier post! Did you make lasagne? If so I am mostly jealous! I had a lovely sausage casserole with roast potatoes and veggies at MiL's followed by fruit and meringue bases with cream. YUM! Jellytot ate..... 5. Yes 5. FIVE. Sausages. :rotfl: and nothing else. The little sod.

Gib your hubby sounds like Him! I swear men have no tastebuds. He is far happier with beans and sausages out of a tin, with cheese on toast, than anything else! Or cheap chicken soup, with crisps. Basically I stock up my kitchen cupboards for the lunchtimes that he is here when I am at work with - Chicken soup, ready salted crisps, eggs, marmite, meatballs in tomato sauce, beans and sausages, Supernoodles, Pot Noodles, and BREAD. Lots of bread. He could basically live off a continually replenished supply of this indefinitely. The own-brandier the better, so long as it is cheap. I am not fussy but I have standards. And something that has the definition 'made with mechanically recovered chicken and pork', is not going into my mouth!

Quorn is something I have never tried, having been told it tastes like cardboard.. :rotfl: having eaten scanbran, which is genuine cardboard to make Slimming World peeps *go* :o:o I think I should give it a try. the sausages do look nice!!

Gloop - well.. yes.. I covered the speaker in clingfilm and it just bounces around like crazy in the middle (it is a big speaker, please don't judge me on the size of my speakers...) - you have made me think that maybe this was the gunk my friends 15 month old was playing with at his messy play day. A whole giant bowl full of it, dyed pink! have to get it out for Jelly to try.

Introductionssssssss please - Lovely ladies and lurkers, meet fellow lurker and now poster (Yay!) Hopefuljoy. I saw a little of her story elsewhere and believe you me, amongst a crowd of tough ladies in here, she is right up there in the rankings.

It amazes me sometimes, the diversity of carp that comes our way. We all have stories, and war wounds and battle scarred memories. We all came through it and proved our mettle. Some continue to battle through to this day; suppose in a way, we are all battling each day. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Isn't that right?

Hope in terms of income and expenditure.. it is nice to find someone who has the same budgeting/income/outgoings & especially SAVINGS plan as me! Do you find it easy to stick within budget? I am militant these days, but to be honest if I wasn't always managing to make so much money from random things on the side, I may not be able to stick to things.

What is new today in Liltiland? Jellytot got her first real play of an acoustic guitar, at Grandads house. She loves it! Also the dog went for her through the gate that I was told he would never get to because he would be locked in his cage. My mummy instinct kicked in and I basically shoved her backwards on her bum, just as he snapped at her outstretched hand. I scared her more than the dog. I think MiL was fuming with FiL as he was the one who let the dog out. I tried to downplay it, but it scared me to death. No, he wouldn't have been able to rip her throat out, or chew her face, but he could easily and would have bitten her fingers off. Jack Russell.... I have known some lovely Jacks, but he is not one of them. He is a nasty, ankle-biting, jealous monster.

I am off to catch up with diaries. You guys have been busy!

And then I am going to keep on and on figuring my budget out. Tomorrow I have 3 hours of peace to myself with jelly at nursery (I have peace now, but MOTD on later and ice cream calling my name!!) and intend to get myself an airtight meal plan and months budget for October sorted out. I think I have put Him off coming back properly for another month. He has almost hit a certain amount of money in his bank account and he knows moving back in, I will want money to recoup some of my losses. So he is holding off until he reaches his magic number. At £160 a month wages, it may be some time... Lol

Speak soon!! xx

apple_muncher

Whatever you decide to do or not do regarding Him, you will always have your own personal fan club on here who will be your cheerleaders :j:j:j. If nothing else, our / my uncoordinated attempts at rhythmical movement to music whilst clad in sparkly lycra and waving pompoms will cause you to snort your ice cream out of your nose!!

ps: don't go to bed too late.... xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

I eat quorn all the time and believe me it is way more edible than scan bran!! Scan bran is better suited to removing the dead skin off the soles of your feet :rotfl:.

Lilt you are an absolute super star and if ever you doubt that then re-read your post from 7.50pm tonight! Brilliantly put, and proving that whilst HIM may be a welcome addition to your life, he is just that, rather than the be all and end all. You will be fine regardless and Jelly will grow up to be the same as her wonderful role model Mummy Xx

Hopefuljoy

Hi there Lilt and ladies in forumland!! I'm very flattered by your kind words Lilt; you are generous with praise! Quorn is really nice by the way, cheaper than meat but absorbs flavours really well. The burgers are amazing!!

Five sausages for a timy girly whirl must be a record. I love HIMs choices of food. He must be bunged up to the eyeballs most of the time....' how do accountants deal with constipation? They work it out with a pencil...' ta dahh!

I do stick to my budget but haven't always which lead to disaster. Now my debts are paid off I'm determined. I get out £110 cash each Friday which pays for all food (40), petrol (30), slimming club lighterlife (15), Amy's pocket money (quite high at £15pw but she saves it for special clothes and birthday/christmas pressies and never asks me for any more), treats (10). I have a seperate plastic envelope for every type of spend and keep them seperate. I dont take any debit cards out with me shopping at all and make a packed lunch each day. When I know I need to buy something I take the envelope with me but never any extra. I leaned this system from Christians against poverty and it really works! Once the envelopes are empty it's pancakes for every meal! If we know there's a birthday meal coming up then I don't spend my treats budget for a few weeks.

Believe me I haven't always been this organised and it is hard! But at least when I do have a minor wobble it never gets out of hand and I live within my means. My previous money problems contributed to ongoing depression which I've had since 2000. Peace of mind is worth everything to me and it means I can concentrate on my job and family. I'll never be rich but I wont be worried or scared!!

I'm off to bed now ready for teaching tomorrow.... wonder what my year nines will come up with to test me tomorrow!!!

teapot2

Hi Lilt


double :eek: to the dog at the outlaws!


Another quorn eater here, I tend to buy the frozen one or sometimes own brand frozen veggie mince if its cheaper. I think the one in the chilled cabinet tends to be more expensive.


I think the thing about quorn is that you need to add lots of flavour as it doesn't have much on its own. Works well with herbs, tomatoes, garlic, chilli etc. It can be used in pretty much any meal you'd normally use meat mince and works well as long as you keep the flavours up :cool:


nom nom hungry now

liltdiddylilt

*Snorts coffee rather than ice cream having come to the party a bit late*

I see you all, dancing and cheering in your lycra. You're braver than I, I daren't even look at leggings! I can feel the orange peel growing on my legs when I look at 'celebs' in magazines in them... :eek: :rotfl:

teapot welcome! Thanks for your input on quorn. Between you all I think you may have swung me in favour of it. Now to hide it & serve it up & see if anyone notices a difference

Lucky I forgot you would be knowledgeable about the horrors of scanbran!! My mum sits and eats it, dipping it into her Options Hot Choc.... :rotfl: swears by it... But it is so... grey.

Hopefuljoy - is it praise when it is the truth? I am continually amazed by the collective people I meet on here and the trials and tribulations. I have definitely learnt how to take pleasure from small victories thanks to the stories on this forum! The accountant joke... snort! Be careful, that's a good portion of my job :rotfl:

I am cooking a bolognese right now, stood typing with the laptop on the toaster and my head resting on the cupboard... Dropped jelly off, and was all ready to come home and relax, when my phone beeped. Doctors appt. I forgot! So I have been, got loaded up with yet more pills and a visit to a pain clinic which should likely take a few months to even come about. I have been recommended for an epidural for the pain. Lol. He also pointed out to me that I have 'disk disease' which I did not know. I thought it was just a couple of them were a bit bad. But now apparently they shall fall like dominoes... :eek: LOL - Cheers, I look forward to it.

So when I got home, half my chill day already a goner, I though... meh, wash those breakfast pots and get a bolognese (with lentils!!) on the stove will make the rest of the day playing with jelly nice and fun when she gets back knowing I don't have to cook other than spaghetti.

Got a couple of bits of bargainous craft stuff where it had been reduced so far after the kids have gone back to school. Lots of star stickers, undecided whether for craft or whether to start a Good girl chart! And some dinky kids scissors. And some washable pen stampers with shapes on. All different kinds! Paid about £1.50 for all of it Also got a seriously sturdy and totally unnecessary egg slicer. Jelly will like it.. Should have been £5 and was £1.50. Solid metal one

Still haven't done my budgeting or meal plan. I can procrastinate with the best of them..

Hope you're all having a lovely monday! xx

hohum

Just catching up - on the serious stuff, well you have given some serious thought to yer man moving back in and I know what it's like to need to make sure, no matter the outcome!

Also can't believe him is also a consumer of the awful ownbrands.I hate to tar one gender with the same brush but for that subsection (which includes my boyfriend) I ask: WHY? it's food but not as we know it.

Slightly related, Quorn has improved a lot. If you can find the hot dogs (frozen) I recommend them for people who inexplicably like the taste of cheap tinned frankfurters. All the taste and none of the dubious ingredients!

please-let-me-be-lucky

The scanbran chocolate cake recipe is ok, as long as you have it with a muller yogurt or similar!!!

Hope the new meds help Xx