Access for grandparents - conditions?

claire16c

If the MiL wont come to your house on her own, and the FiL wont leave the house, sounds like they're a pair of idiots and not worth bothering with!

They clearly aren't THAT bothered about seeing your DD.

Good for you for not backing down.

quidsy

Personally if someone had threatened to take my child then I would not let them ahve access to the child without my presence & esp not with his mother as supervisor. And certainly not with someone in the house who hate you so much. I dread to think what kind of poison they would be pouring into my childs mind.

I would suggest to your exmil that you are happy to meet her at a neutral location such as mcdonalds or a cafe where she can develop a bond with the child first & if after a period of time the meetings go well then you can rework the plan from there.

But I would think very carefully about letting the exfil get their evil near my child.

Speak to your solicitor & go over all scenarios.

rpc

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

The last thing that said was that they were writing DD1 a letter to explain that it was my fault they never saw her when she was younger and that they "will always be there" for her, despite what i say (Nice of them eh!)

LOL!

"We'll always be there for you, but only if you come to us."

sooty&sweep

Hi
If you think this will end up in court for any reason then I'd suggest you keep a record of who said what & when so that you're clear. Its very easy to get confused and forget what happened when.
Personally I think you're doing the right thing !
Jen

paddy's_mum

So the bottom line (and the obvious conclusion, Your Honour ) is that they don't love the child, they don't want to forge links with her and any friendship/affection/liking that might be fostered is conditional.

That's not what I call being a grandmother - more an accident of genetics! If they can't see that welfare of the child is the most important thing, then it's a game they're playing and one your daughter, quite rightly, ought to be kept right out of.

I'd be asking for the incident with the teacher over the visit be formally entered into the record. With bullying cretins like this, you may one day need the evidence. Good luck.

Person_one

rpc wrote: »

LOL!

"We'll always be there for you, but only if you come to us."

Yep.

Any further talk about how much they love and miss her can be dismissed as bluster and show, because that's clearly what it is.

I'd walk across hot coals and broken glass if that was the only way to see my nieces and nephews.

peachyprice

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

The last thing that said was that they were writing DD1 a letter to explain that it was my fault they never saw her when she was younger and that they "will always be there" for her, despite what i say (Nice of them eh!)

Still havent had a letter from them - I am however, waiting for ex to go to solicitors about it (no doubt his father will push him into dragging me through courts instead of sorting it ammicabley)

Their poisonous little letter won't look too good for them in court, if it ever arrives

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Talking to one of my friends last night and she said that if they go to solicitors then keep firing letters to them because they get charged? She was thinking along the lines of - ExFIL doesnt work, ExMIL works in a supermarket, if they cant afford solicitor fee's theres no way they would take me to court.

(**I know grandparents cant take me to court - i suspect they will "finance" their son - my ex - to take me. He hasnt wanted access for past few years so will be interesting to see whether he does what they say, or tells them to do one **)

No letter as of yet. We actually move in the New Year, Same area, just a different place. Ex knows this is happening and knows the house (As in, knows which one it is but probably doesnt know the number / street name) - Do i need to tell them/him?

EDIT: I actally think they will send her the letter in a christmas card. Will wait and see!

Thanks again

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

quidsy wrote: »

I would suggest to your exmil that you are happy to meet her at a neutral location such as mcdonalds or a cafe .

I did - They refused

quidsy

I wouldn't tell them anything, you have obligation to keep them updated on your whereabouts.

Apologies, I missed your post on their refusal to meet in a central location, good for you for standing your ground, they have shown no interest & clearly their main intent is to mess you around rather than see their grandchild.

Stay strong.